Well, these are the most representative of the 40 plus photos i took while dancin like a fool when i got home from the gay bar alone.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
And then the return home...
Ok ok... the demure girl from the above picture was corrupted. [hmmm only took 4 red bull and vodkas] So I got home alone [read as: my friend picked up. Im a good fag hag!] and still wanted to party. So i turned on much music and decided to dance my brains out. And, naturally, I decided to take a few pics...
Well, these are the most representative of the 40 plus photos i took while dancin like a fool when i got home from the gay bar alone.
Well, these are the most representative of the 40 plus photos i took while dancin like a fool when i got home from the gay bar alone.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Fun Fun Fun!
Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com
p.s. had a totally nuts weekend...involving lotsa booze, some humpin, a trip to a gay bar, telling off mila, some crazy phone/cam sex, and lotsa pizza.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Thursday, February 17, 2005
The best website ever... if only i woulda listened to it [sniff]
Hmm...maybe a few years [14 to be exact] late. Maybe i should consider re-virgination...nah, that takes 7 yrs and i dont have time like that...
Anyways: Will all the girls please rise and say with me...
I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it's just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)
2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.
3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.
4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.
5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.
I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:
-->Super-expensive dry cleaning bills for getting crusty sex goop off all my good silk and cashmere stuff.
-->Forcing my wonderful parents to use "tough love" and kick me out of the house for embarrassing them by being such a little whore.
--> Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with their sicko "love."
Hah. For boys... www.sexisforfags.com
Anyways: Will all the girls please rise and say with me...
I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it's just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)
2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.
3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.
4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.
5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.
I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:
-->Super-expensive dry cleaning bills for getting crusty sex goop off all my good silk and cashmere stuff.
-->Forcing my wonderful parents to use "tough love" and kick me out of the house for embarrassing them by being such a little whore.
--> Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with their sicko "love."
Hah. For boys... www.sexisforfags.com
Regular Post- date posting...
Im not going to comment on the fact that i havent seen Mila in a month...or that he sent me some pictures from his christmas party and it literally broke my heart...or that our first date was also on a wednesday, approx. 3 mos. ago... [oh wait, i guess i just DID comment on it, ug.]
but i went on a date last night.
As you can prolly guess, we drank, made small talk, then made out. Usual stuff. He's nice enough, rather cute, and seems fun...but why did i keep closing my eyes while making out and thinking of someone else [who actually wasnt as good at making out as this guy, as an aside] everytime? Why did i hope that he would message me while i was making out with said new guy, and then id tell him 'oh sorry i missed your message cuz i was with someone else? Or have him call me right now wanting me back, so i could say 'I've moved on".
Man im messed up. I wish he'd just let me be so i could actually move on...Damn. This was supposed to be a post about the new guy, not the old one. Double damn.
but i went on a date last night.
As you can prolly guess, we drank, made small talk, then made out. Usual stuff. He's nice enough, rather cute, and seems fun...but why did i keep closing my eyes while making out and thinking of someone else [who actually wasnt as good at making out as this guy, as an aside] everytime? Why did i hope that he would message me while i was making out with said new guy, and then id tell him 'oh sorry i missed your message cuz i was with someone else? Or have him call me right now wanting me back, so i could say 'I've moved on".
Man im messed up. I wish he'd just let me be so i could actually move on...Damn. This was supposed to be a post about the new guy, not the old one. Double damn.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
hitting the "NEXT BLOG" button on my page...
gets you:
-- conservative rhetoric that would make Rush Limbaugh blush [sample: ' but i totally agree that Jesus Christ is our saviour despite the fact that i didnt make that much on the bottle drive for our church...ps. no gays no abortions but many executions.]
-- some asian teens talking about which J-Pop band they love [soo good =:X) muah!!!]
-- angry goth kids in middle America with cryptic names and depressing icons [mystycysm pain... WTF?]
--something in Spanish or Portugese
Arent u glad you know juicy? Yeah, and juicy loves u too.
--------
Surreal note:
somewhere someone is blogging about how they hit the 'next blog' key and had to read about some 20 something slut who complains all the time and drinks heavily.....
--------
-- conservative rhetoric that would make Rush Limbaugh blush [sample: ' but i totally agree that Jesus Christ is our saviour despite the fact that i didnt make that much on the bottle drive for our church...ps. no gays no abortions but many executions.]
-- some asian teens talking about which J-Pop band they love [soo good =:X) muah!!!]
-- angry goth kids in middle America with cryptic names and depressing icons [mystycysm pain... WTF?]
--something in Spanish or Portugese
Arent u glad you know juicy? Yeah, and juicy loves u too.
--------
Surreal note:
somewhere someone is blogging about how they hit the 'next blog' key and had to read about some 20 something slut who complains all the time and drinks heavily.....
--------
VD: partie deux
hmm page 11...
except before the going home alone, going to Ceilis [which i actually hate] and then coming home by myself. Then, looking on MSN, considered going on Lemontonic [a different version of the same shite as the lava] decide to post this and then go to bed...
Happy friggin' v day juicy.
except before the going home alone, going to Ceilis [which i actually hate] and then coming home by myself. Then, looking on MSN, considered going on Lemontonic [a different version of the same shite as the lava] decide to post this and then go to bed...
Happy friggin' v day juicy.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Valentines Day
bah.
you prolly can guess how i feel about today. lets play chose your own adventure...and then ill update u later as to which came true.
a] If Juicy A stays home and gets stoned, watches Degrassi TNG and eats a bunch of chicken go to page 42.
b] If Juicy A gets drunk with the Bridesmaids...but then they need to go home early cuz they all have to work, so she comes home and does some pseudo lecherous MSN-ing go to page 11.
c] If Juicy A gets drunk with the Bridesmaids, who then drag her to Cowboys, where she meets a boy...makes out with him, then takes him home... go to page 67.
you prolly can guess how i feel about today. lets play chose your own adventure...and then ill update u later as to which came true.
a] If Juicy A stays home and gets stoned, watches Degrassi TNG and eats a bunch of chicken go to page 42.
b] If Juicy A gets drunk with the Bridesmaids...but then they need to go home early cuz they all have to work, so she comes home and does some pseudo lecherous MSN-ing go to page 11.
c] If Juicy A gets drunk with the Bridesmaids, who then drag her to Cowboys, where she meets a boy...makes out with him, then takes him home... go to page 67.
Friday, February 11, 2005
My new Roomate
Well, Ive been discussing it for a really long time...but i finally found a new roomate. Meet Kingsley [if you have seen 'The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou' you'll understand why the name is funny...and yes, im going to refer to my fishie as Ned at times]...my new Siamese Fighting Fish.
I have often compared my current boyfriend to my fishie [Dumbass and Dexter = neurotic; Marco and Pete = laid back and unexcitable] and am concerned over the fact that im not really seeing anyone right now to be K's doppelganger. I sure hope hes not comparable to Mila-- contradictory, confused, messed up, and driving me crazy. If anything I'd say this fishie is prolly the most social one that Ive had. He's always staring at me and trying to see what im doing. Oh great, my next boyfriend is going to be a stalker. Anyways, here's to Kingsley.
I have often compared my current boyfriend to my fishie [Dumbass and Dexter = neurotic; Marco and Pete = laid back and unexcitable] and am concerned over the fact that im not really seeing anyone right now to be K's doppelganger. I sure hope hes not comparable to Mila-- contradictory, confused, messed up, and driving me crazy. If anything I'd say this fishie is prolly the most social one that Ive had. He's always staring at me and trying to see what im doing. Oh great, my next boyfriend is going to be a stalker. Anyways, here's to Kingsley.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Awesoma Powa! For Best Lucky Attack!
All i have been doing lately is playing with my webcam, looking on the internet, and watching the TV. Right now-- Im in anime mode for all three...
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Hey Lenny!
Check out my cable internet and tv!
Lenny: Wow! Looks like the kind ive had for 3 years...
Me: Are ya jealous?
Lenny: But i have the same...
Me: He's jealous
[Note: if you dont watch the simpsons in a pseudo addictive manner, this wont make lotsa sense to you...or any at all. Needless to say, the original episode was about Homer getting a big comfy chair after becoming a stonecutter--the same chair that Lenny had and Homer coveted... Fuck. Ok. So i got cable internet and tv today. I officially entered the 21st century. Blah. Well, Im excited about it]
Lenny: Wow! Looks like the kind ive had for 3 years...
Me: Are ya jealous?
Lenny: But i have the same...
Me: He's jealous
[Note: if you dont watch the simpsons in a pseudo addictive manner, this wont make lotsa sense to you...or any at all. Needless to say, the original episode was about Homer getting a big comfy chair after becoming a stonecutter--the same chair that Lenny had and Homer coveted... Fuck. Ok. So i got cable internet and tv today. I officially entered the 21st century. Blah. Well, Im excited about it]
Monday, February 07, 2005
The Return of the [Somewhat Reluctant] Bridesmaid
Saturday saw the end of an era: the Mercury is now officially closed. I've had a lot of fun there over the years: I had my first ever martini there [a delilah] in 1996, some of my fave Marco memories are from when he DJ'd there and we went there after almost every FMC party.
Of course, I couldnt exactly go alone, so i recruited some of the bridesmaids to join me in the fond farewell...and in true [back on the wagon] bridesmaid style, we all picked up. I seem to have been re-instated with full bridesmaid honors-- I just dont know if i am ready to accept the duties.
Man, was I wasted. I drank 6 beers and about 10 shots before we even left to go there. I almost started a fight there within the first 15 minutes. Three girls who were prolly 5 ft tall [at the most] walked through my friends and i said "oh look, tiny people". Now i didnt mean it in a mean way, but the 3 interpreted it as an insult. [in retrospect, it wasnt the nicest thing to say...] One chick said "that was fucking rude". Again, due to my intoxication, I just laughed. So she pinched me. Yeah, thats right. Pinched me. Like it was recess and the bell just rang. So for the rest of the night i was making a big deal about being terrified of all tiny people...especially those who pinch.
As for the random, he was young: only 22. And i can tell you i prolly wasnt ready for it. I thought about a certain someone else the whole time. Yesterday, I couldnt sleep in my bed because i felt too guilty. I kept looking at Edgar Moose-ilini [the moose whom we share joint custody] last night and almost crying.
Anyways, Im gonna miss you, Mercury. It was always a good time.
Of course, I couldnt exactly go alone, so i recruited some of the bridesmaids to join me in the fond farewell...and in true [back on the wagon] bridesmaid style, we all picked up. I seem to have been re-instated with full bridesmaid honors-- I just dont know if i am ready to accept the duties.
Man, was I wasted. I drank 6 beers and about 10 shots before we even left to go there. I almost started a fight there within the first 15 minutes. Three girls who were prolly 5 ft tall [at the most] walked through my friends and i said "oh look, tiny people". Now i didnt mean it in a mean way, but the 3 interpreted it as an insult. [in retrospect, it wasnt the nicest thing to say...] One chick said "that was fucking rude". Again, due to my intoxication, I just laughed. So she pinched me. Yeah, thats right. Pinched me. Like it was recess and the bell just rang. So for the rest of the night i was making a big deal about being terrified of all tiny people...especially those who pinch.
As for the random, he was young: only 22. And i can tell you i prolly wasnt ready for it. I thought about a certain someone else the whole time. Yesterday, I couldnt sleep in my bed because i felt too guilty. I kept looking at Edgar Moose-ilini [the moose whom we share joint custody] last night and almost crying.
Anyways, Im gonna miss you, Mercury. It was always a good time.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
And now that ive figured out how to use Picasa...
... I know Ive been talking about it for as long as I can honestly remember, but its finally coming to fruititon. I am setting up a photoblog for all my "hump attack" photos.
Right now its sparse, but im planning on gettting my hands on a scanner and diggin' out my old photo CDs and making it the hump attack site that we've all waited so patiently for.
www.juicyhumps.blogspot.com
Right now its sparse, but im planning on gettting my hands on a scanner and diggin' out my old photo CDs and making it the hump attack site that we've all waited so patiently for.
www.juicyhumps.blogspot.com
Juicy A's first photo-documentary: I got stoned and had the munchies...
[ED Note: First, start at the last picture and scroll up.
Second, who is ed?]
that was one gooood idea, juicy!
Second, who is ed?]
that was one gooood idea, juicy!
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