So here i am baking mini quiches and drinking caesars with Juicy's Little Helper [ the last of the weed was unfortunately used up this morning when i found that the Goonies was on TBS... wikked awesome movie, dude. but seriously, that Andie chick was driving me bonkers with all the shreiking. Every friggin time she moved she screamed. And i dont think they were very culturally sensitive to the 'Data' character...anyhoo] and i have decided to do a "2005: A Year in Review" Post cuz right now the TV is full of that kinda shit.
Jan: I finally passed the Bar exams and became a lawyer. I still didnt have a job, though, but at least i was able to tell people i was an Unemployed lawyer, as opposed to an Unemployed loser who failed the bar exam a bunch of times.
I also stopped seeing Mila. Wait, was i ever actually seeing him to begin with?
Feb: Still unemployed and seriously considering the world of pr0n to make money... however, on the 23rd of the month I went grocery shopping, and ended up picking up a boy with my milk, cheese and bread. This, of course was my beloved Jeremy.
March: Not alot happened... i went on some job interviews...hung out with Jer...planned our trip to Mexico. however in....
April: I got a job as a family lawyer, which was pretty damned funny cuz i knew nothing about family law, hated the class, and had never even looked at a file. Sadly, I was paid in accordance with my inexperience and made as much at that job as the guy who drives the ice cream truck.
Right before i started there, me and Jer went to Puerto Vallarta and spent 7 days drinking, laying in the sun, and swimming.
May: I bought a car, a lovely silver 2005 VW Jetta whom, in the spirit of Episode III of Star Wars coming out, I named Obi-Wan Volknobi.
I celebrated my 28th bday on the 24th in the most horrible fashion imaginable: throwing up every 30 seconds for a duration of 2 days after discovering that yes, in fact, I am allergic to Hash oil.
I also subscribed to Blog Explosion...which brought me tons of readers/ blogbuddies and finally gave me a method for my blogging madness.
June: Worked alot...although i was supposed to be reviewed and told whether i would be kept on permanently as a lawyer or let go...they just decided to keep me on contract another 3 months. I was also told this via email, not in person. What a fuckin wuss my old boss was.
July: The rainiest summer i can recall was filled with me working, wearing my hair in its full blown curly glory...and finally making it to the Stampede grounds for the first time ever. [still never made it to a pancake breakfast, though]
August: For July and August, I spent 2 nights a week cheering for Jer's team in his Summer Hockey league [hes the commissioner] ...and in August the Aces Won.
Totally pissed about the whole non-permanent status of my job, i started looking for a new place to go. I interviewed at a few places, one pretty much offered me the job in the first 5 min of the interview....
There was a 90% chance that if you said something to me in August, I answered you with " Ranch! "
Sept: I switched jobs. My new place offered me more money, more respect, and a future. Best Decision Ever. [uhhh... that and saying yes to Jer, that is :P]
On the 22nd, I posted a picture of my ass and successfully joined the ranks of Half Nekkid Thursday participants.
NOTE: I missed HNT this week... so if you want to know what my fave one of the year is, its Dec 08/05...although the fan fave was #6...you can click them to the left to see em]
Oct: I was named as bloggin hottie #7... I want to thank my mom, God, my agent....
Jer agreed to let me move into his house. Now i am paying less rent/ utilities, get to see my boy all the time, and he gets my skilled sandwich making skills and all my furniture. Co-habitation bliss followed.
Nov: My work trained me as a mediator... still have yet to do one, but have used the skills a lot...especially on a certain boyfriend who didnt want to get a doggie until...
Dec: Me and Jer adopted Digit, the retired racing greyhound...
Jer celebrated his first Christmas...i celebrated my first Hannukah
Juicy got carpal tunnel syndrome from posting a really fucking big post on the 31st.
---
Okay, yah get it.... have a fucking good one tonite. Im getting a drink. I mean, its the last time its going to be 2pm ever again in 2005... Have a fun and safe 2006 everyone!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Its a dog's life....
Presenting Digit... in full mouse hunting mode. For someone bred to run like the wind, he sure is clumsy and likes to sleep a lot. And man oh man, dont even get me started on the smell of greyhound farts. But hes been a pretty good boy and only left us one 'present' in the living room so far.
Other than the obvious, I havent been up to too much. Christmas with the family was typical: they drank a lot said some weird things [the first thing my father said to me was 'Whoa, you sure are getting fat'] and we ate a shitload of turkey and turkey related side dishes. Jer had his first Christmas and seems to have come thru fairly unscathed. I think his overall opinion was that Christmas = presents and food; therefore, Christmas = Good.
Someone dented my poor baby car over the last week. If I find out who you are... i will dent you one in return.
New Years is pretty much sounding like Ill be hitting a houseparty, eating a bunch of shit, drinking, and [d'oh] watching 6 hours of hockey. Yeah. My boy sure knows how to party. Speaking of food... I think i will be making a large selection of the food....likely this afternoon and likely while stoned.
If i dont blog until then, happy 2006 y'all and may all your days be merry and bright and not smell like greyhound farts...
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Bringing Home Baby
I hope everyone had a great holiday... mine was pretty wikked. And not just because while i type this i am also playing tug o war with my beautiful ex-racing greyhound, Digimon Didit [aka "Digit"]. ( Ill be sure to post pics once i am able to figure out how to do it on Jer's Mac.)
Im waaaay too excited to type anything else right now...
Im waaaay too excited to type anything else right now...
Friday, December 23, 2005
Is it noon yet?
Im done work in 1.5 hrs for a full week. Woot!! To celebrate, I bought everyone here a bottle of Baileys. I just cracked mine open. I have a feeling that time is going to fly now...
Before I get the hell outta Dodge, big thanks to CBK and Cindy for their Christmas goodies.
CBK has 2 adorable boys and his card was of them grinning at the camera. So cute. I wonder if they know their Daddy drinks girl drinks? [haha had to say it!]
Cindy sent me a card that cracked me up totally of elf pick up lines and a magnet which is now proudly adorning my fridge [next to JJ's stickers of course!]. Im going to have to get ya to get me something from the Kenosha Dog track next time you are in that area again, too, Cindy... I need to make my boy Digit feel less homesick. [ps Go vote for her for Blogging Hottie!
To everyone else, if I dont blog before Sunday, Happy holidays and stuff. I hope Santa brings you all the goodies you desire [both illegal and legal] and everyone avoids being arrested in the new year.
Big Kisses,
Juicy A
Before I get the hell outta Dodge, big thanks to CBK and Cindy for their Christmas goodies.
CBK has 2 adorable boys and his card was of them grinning at the camera. So cute. I wonder if they know their Daddy drinks girl drinks? [haha had to say it!]
Cindy sent me a card that cracked me up totally of elf pick up lines and a magnet which is now proudly adorning my fridge [next to JJ's stickers of course!]. Im going to have to get ya to get me something from the Kenosha Dog track next time you are in that area again, too, Cindy... I need to make my boy Digit feel less homesick. [ps Go vote for her for Blogging Hottie!
To everyone else, if I dont blog before Sunday, Happy holidays and stuff. I hope Santa brings you all the goodies you desire [both illegal and legal] and everyone avoids being arrested in the new year.
Big Kisses,
Juicy A
A Canadian Christmas Classic: Bob and Doug's 12 days of Christmas
Okay, everyone's been asking for it, so here it is, our Twelve Days Of Christmas. We're gonna sing it now...
Bob Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Doug Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!
Bob Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on. Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Doug Look out the window!
Bob Where?! Whadda ya doing?
Doug Snow, hosehead.
Bob Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing, cause it's Christmas time. Hey, hoser!
Doug What?
Bob Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
Doug Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
Bob Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Doug Uh, the 25th.
Bob Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that's two. And then, what's after that?
Doug Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
Bob No. Get out.
Doug Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
Bob That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.
Doug New Year's.
Bob Four. And what's...
Doug New Year's Eve.
Bob Five. Where do you get twelve?
Doug Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four. That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
(Music starts.)
Bob Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob Okay.
Doug By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob Aw, geez.
Doug You start.
Bob Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug There should be more there, eh?
Bob Where? On the... go.
Doug Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer.
Doug In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer, what was it?
Together In a tree!
Bob Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers Five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer,
Together In a tree!
Bob Okay.
Doug Okay.
Bob On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four! (BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)
Bob & BG Singers Five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer,
Together In a tree!
Bob Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!
Bob Um...
Doug Go, hoser.
Bob Oh.
Together Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug Eight comic books,
All Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
All And a beer,
Doug On my tree!
Bob Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers Twelve!
Bob Uh, twelve.
Doug Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers Five golden touques!
All Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
Bob Beauty, eh?
Doug Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob Uh, albums.
Doug Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob Merry Christmas!
Doug And good day!
Bob Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug What?
Bob Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug Okay, the song's over.
Bob But I want...
Doug Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
Doug Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...
Bob Take off!
Doug Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
Bob Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
Doug Wha-?
(Music fades.)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Not necessarily a half nekkid thursday
I know that we arent doing the good old regular HNT today...but a different one where we give 'gifts' to our co-half nekkidteers. Im trying to get done a lot of shite before the big week off next week here at work, so im going to try to make a more lengthy post later...but for now, here is a pic that my sis took last year of me...while we were likely drunk on some sort of blender drink. Its sorta become a yearly tradition over at her house...us drunk on Christmas eve and taking sleazy pics with me wearing a santa hat.
Introducing "Slutty Elf"
PS Canada rules!
Introducing "Slutty Elf"
PS Canada rules!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Christmas cookie recipe
A few people sent me this this year... like they think they know me or something. But if they really knew me, they would know that i prefer to get stoned before i bake...not drunk.
...
It is that time of the year so here is another copy of the recipe that you probably
misplaced last year!
Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another
cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS
...
It is that time of the year so here is another copy of the recipe that you probably
misplaced last year!
Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another
cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Meme-o-rama
JJ tagged me. I dunno, maybe he didnt like the Christmas Card i sent him and his Italian Greyhound, JD. *sniff*
You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
Stronger sentences for parole violators...and world peace. [yes, I really liked Miss Congeniality]
Actually... I got what i wanted yesterday: Jer and I are adopting a retired ex-racing Greyhound and the Oilers won over the Flames in a brilliant exhibition of style, charisma, and excellent scoring chances.
Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. Nice weather during my week off... Id like to take my BMX for a spin. Its like 6 degrees out right now.
2. To win the lottery and be able to become what i truly desire: A socialite.
3. Then I could also volunteer for free to Amnesty International as a Civil Rights lawyer to fight the Death Penalty in other countries...while also wearing Versace fashion and with a glass of Veuve Cliquot in one hand and a coke vial in the other.
4. Super powers would be cool too. Id like to be able to stop time, fly, and shoot fire out of my finger tips.
5. I could use a drink right now.
6. Eternal hapiness for me, my Jer, my family, my soon to be doggie, and all my readers out there [house lights go on in the audience].
What animal would you be?
A wild pony. Or a Siamese Fighting Fish...Kingsley's got it pretty good.
Something you want to do in your life:
See above....#3
One song you could listen to over and over again:
Any song over and over again would drive me bonkers...but Im going to say Lucky Man by the Verve. Cuz when i was studying for the LSAT I had this tape where it played non stop to relax me when i went to sleep...and it totally worked. Or "Hollaback Girl" cuz it was stuck in my head for about 4 months this summer and it didnt [completely] make me go crazy.
Coke or Pepsi?
Vodka
Something you currently desire:
Some more of those chocolate covered Almonds on my assistant's desk. Is it abusing my power if i order her to bring them to me? You! Girl! Get me those chocolates!
One good deed you’ve done lately:
Im a sucker for those 'Santa's Anonymous' campaigns where you buy a bunch of toys for less fortunate kids...on Friday I bought 4 boxes of Legos for the charity. *blush*
A funny moment in your life:
So this one time, Juicy walked into a Bar and *thunk*
Im not tagging anyone... but anyone who is interested may steal...[ i like the passive aggressive approach]
You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
Stronger sentences for parole violators...and world peace. [yes, I really liked Miss Congeniality]
Actually... I got what i wanted yesterday: Jer and I are adopting a retired ex-racing Greyhound and the Oilers won over the Flames in a brilliant exhibition of style, charisma, and excellent scoring chances.
Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. Nice weather during my week off... Id like to take my BMX for a spin. Its like 6 degrees out right now.
2. To win the lottery and be able to become what i truly desire: A socialite.
3. Then I could also volunteer for free to Amnesty International as a Civil Rights lawyer to fight the Death Penalty in other countries...while also wearing Versace fashion and with a glass of Veuve Cliquot in one hand and a coke vial in the other.
4. Super powers would be cool too. Id like to be able to stop time, fly, and shoot fire out of my finger tips.
5. I could use a drink right now.
6. Eternal hapiness for me, my Jer, my family, my soon to be doggie, and all my readers out there [house lights go on in the audience].
What animal would you be?
A wild pony. Or a Siamese Fighting Fish...Kingsley's got it pretty good.
Something you want to do in your life:
See above....#3
One song you could listen to over and over again:
Any song over and over again would drive me bonkers...but Im going to say Lucky Man by the Verve. Cuz when i was studying for the LSAT I had this tape where it played non stop to relax me when i went to sleep...and it totally worked. Or "Hollaback Girl" cuz it was stuck in my head for about 4 months this summer and it didnt [completely] make me go crazy.
Coke or Pepsi?
Vodka
Something you currently desire:
Some more of those chocolate covered Almonds on my assistant's desk. Is it abusing my power if i order her to bring them to me? You! Girl! Get me those chocolates!
One good deed you’ve done lately:
Im a sucker for those 'Santa's Anonymous' campaigns where you buy a bunch of toys for less fortunate kids...on Friday I bought 4 boxes of Legos for the charity. *blush*
A funny moment in your life:
So this one time, Juicy walked into a Bar and *thunk*
Im not tagging anyone... but anyone who is interested may steal...[ i like the passive aggressive approach]
Monday, December 19, 2005
!!!!!!!
First, I'd like to say i love my Jer very very much
Second, WERE GETTING A GREYHOUND!!!!
Hopefully next week Digimon Didit will be coming home to live with us! Im so friggin excited!
Second, WERE GETTING A GREYHOUND!!!!
Hopefully next week Digimon Didit will be coming home to live with us! Im so friggin excited!
Juicy does Hannukah
Even though it isnt until the 26th...
Hannukah Harry came early this year and I got my first Hannukah presents yesterday. Consisting of:
- a driedel
- some gelt [chocolate gold coins]
- some books
I still havent played dreidel yet...but im sure it will be a rush.
Here is a rocking good song to play when lighting the menorah (Cant you just see the slacker twntysomethings from Reality Bites dancing to that in the 7-11?)
I havent gotten my present from Jer yet. Hopefully it has 4 legs...is furry...used to race in Wisconsin...and likes dog biscuits...
Hannukah Harry came early this year and I got my first Hannukah presents yesterday. Consisting of:- a driedel
- some gelt [chocolate gold coins]
- some books
I still havent played dreidel yet...but im sure it will be a rush.
Here is a rocking good song to play when lighting the menorah (Cant you just see the slacker twntysomethings from Reality Bites dancing to that in the 7-11?)
I havent gotten my present from Jer yet. Hopefully it has 4 legs...is furry...used to race in Wisconsin...and likes dog biscuits...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Action Packed Holiday Post
So Ive actually been up to a bunch of stuff this weekend. So much so that i decided to break the norm and actually post on a Sunday.
Friday was the work Christmas party, which started at about 1130 in the morning with us drinking champagne and eating chinese food. Pretty sweet. The bosses gave me an xmas bonus of 500 smackers which is pretty damn fine.
The actual party didnt start til 630 and it was at Jubilations dinner theatre...which is one of those people-dressed-in-costumes-who-sing-and-dance-and-serve-you-prime-rib sort of places. I aint going to lie to you: it was pretty gay. I mean, i did laugh a few times...but for the most part i just sat there and drank. Actually, that pretty much explains why i was laughing at times. I drank 4 pitchers of caesars and around 7 shooters there. Jer was drunk before the singing/play/gayness started and kept trying to tell me that all the songs they were singing were by Gowan. [who was this really sucky pop singer in Canada during the 80s]
Anyhoo, I drank, I partied and i ended up,overall, having a pretty fun time. Didnt embarrass myself or anything, but did whoop it up. It made me realise that the people i work with are all pretty awesome. Besides the big bonus, the boss gave us all giftcertificates [mine was for Chapters] and made me some mixed CDs. Awesome.
Saturday was also pretty action packed. Gay best friend was in town and we went to the gay bar and danced at night. I met his new BF who is really cute, funny, and, had he not been gay and i was single, i would totally put the moves on. [thats a pretty big compliment... i usually am not attracted to gay guys cuz they are usually pretty girly]
Saturday was also pretty good cuz I convinced Jer to go to a 'Adoptive Greyhound Meet and Greet' at a pet store in town [ I guarantee you that Jer is rolling his eyes as he reads this] and met some 'hounds and their people. We also met Digimon Didit...who is 6, up for adoption, and has the sweetest little face i have ever seen. I was shocked how sedate all the GHs were...with the pet store being filled with screaming children, yappy little dogs, and puppies peeing everywhere. They all just kinda strolled along and licked the hand of anyone who came by to say 'hi'. Anyhoo, I really liked Diggy the greyhound and really really really hope that if 'someone' is reading this, he keeps that in mind.
Now its Sunday and im watching the football. Later today im going to eat Latkes at Jer's mom's house. Im not sure what they are...but so far ive like the jewish food, so it shant be bad.
Friday was the work Christmas party, which started at about 1130 in the morning with us drinking champagne and eating chinese food. Pretty sweet. The bosses gave me an xmas bonus of 500 smackers which is pretty damn fine.
The actual party didnt start til 630 and it was at Jubilations dinner theatre...which is one of those people-dressed-in-costumes-who-sing-and-dance-and-serve-you-prime-rib sort of places. I aint going to lie to you: it was pretty gay. I mean, i did laugh a few times...but for the most part i just sat there and drank. Actually, that pretty much explains why i was laughing at times. I drank 4 pitchers of caesars and around 7 shooters there. Jer was drunk before the singing/play/gayness started and kept trying to tell me that all the songs they were singing were by Gowan. [who was this really sucky pop singer in Canada during the 80s]
Anyhoo, I drank, I partied and i ended up,overall, having a pretty fun time. Didnt embarrass myself or anything, but did whoop it up. It made me realise that the people i work with are all pretty awesome. Besides the big bonus, the boss gave us all giftcertificates [mine was for Chapters] and made me some mixed CDs. Awesome.
Saturday was also pretty action packed. Gay best friend was in town and we went to the gay bar and danced at night. I met his new BF who is really cute, funny, and, had he not been gay and i was single, i would totally put the moves on. [thats a pretty big compliment... i usually am not attracted to gay guys cuz they are usually pretty girly]
Saturday was also pretty good cuz I convinced Jer to go to a 'Adoptive Greyhound Meet and Greet' at a pet store in town [ I guarantee you that Jer is rolling his eyes as he reads this] and met some 'hounds and their people. We also met Digimon Didit...who is 6, up for adoption, and has the sweetest little face i have ever seen. I was shocked how sedate all the GHs were...with the pet store being filled with screaming children, yappy little dogs, and puppies peeing everywhere. They all just kinda strolled along and licked the hand of anyone who came by to say 'hi'. Anyhoo, I really liked Diggy the greyhound and really really really hope that if 'someone' is reading this, he keeps that in mind.
Now its Sunday and im watching the football. Later today im going to eat Latkes at Jer's mom's house. Im not sure what they are...but so far ive like the jewish food, so it shant be bad.
Friday, December 16, 2005
.And now 30 facts about Mr. T
Top Thirty Mr. T Facts
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. [my fave.. a good reference to Chuck]
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. 254 6.89
Mr. T skis uphill.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. [my fave.. a good reference to Chuck]
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. 254 6.89
Mr. T skis uphill.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Half Nekkid Thursday #11: Brrrr! Its chilly outside!
Thank goodness I brought a scarf!
For more cool nekkidness go see the great Osbasso!
For more of my nekkidness, check the sidebar!
Something Funny that Jer sent me
This made me laugh and laugh and laugh. God Bless you, Chuck Norris.
30 things you didnt know about Chuck Norris...
1) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2) When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
3) Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
4) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
5) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6) If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
7) Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
8) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
9) Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
10) Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
11) Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
12) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
13) Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
14) Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
15) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
16) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
17) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
18) Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
19) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
20) There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
21) Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
22) Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
23) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
24) Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
25) The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
26) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
27) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
28) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
29) It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
30) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Number 15 and 26 are my faves
30 things you didnt know about Chuck Norris...
1) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2) When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
3) Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
4) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
5) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6) If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
7) Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
8) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
9) Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
10) Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
11) Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
12) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
13) Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
14) Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
15) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
16) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
17) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
18) Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
19) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
20) There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
21) Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
22) Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
23) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
24) Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
25) The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
26) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
27) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
28) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
29) It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
30) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Number 15 and 26 are my faves
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Not so christmasy...but pretty funny.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Extreme |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Very High |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Extreme |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | High |
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
All I want for Christmas/ Hannukah/ Kwanzaa/Festivus...
Am I being too obvious?
I just think that Speed of the Wind, Im Illustrious, and Clyde all need good homes now that their racing days are done....
More greyhounds in the Calgary area who need homes can be found here [hint hint]
take it hip to hip rock it through the wilderness
I heard a B-52s song on the radio this morning...and it totally put me in a good mood.
Its snowing outside. Its been uber warm lately and there was no snow, and it was making me kinda sad. Cant imagine christmas without the snow... need something to go sledding on on Boxing Day.
Im super busy at work right now, which is good, cuz my life is super boring outside of work. All I do is lay on the couch or bed and watch TV. Totally blows. I need to make myself make kickboxing class on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Or find another hobby. Or get a dog or something.
On another non-related blathery point, here is my Elf name: [thanks to Osbasso]
And some more B-52's:
roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without wings, without wheels
without anything but the love we feeeel
Its snowing outside. Its been uber warm lately and there was no snow, and it was making me kinda sad. Cant imagine christmas without the snow... need something to go sledding on on Boxing Day.
Im super busy at work right now, which is good, cuz my life is super boring outside of work. All I do is lay on the couch or bed and watch TV. Totally blows. I need to make myself make kickboxing class on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Or find another hobby. Or get a dog or something.
On another non-related blathery point, here is my Elf name: [thanks to Osbasso]
| ||||||||||||||
And some more B-52's:
roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without wings, without wheels
without anything but the love we feeeel
Monday, December 12, 2005
Its finally Christmas
Ususally i can avoid feeling jolly until the 20th, but this year, despite my best efforts to supress it... its happened already. Im feelin Christmas-sy.
I think it had a lot to do with seeing A Christmas Story this weekend. Nothin speaks to me about Christmas more than "You'll shoot your eye out!"
If you havent seen it... my pals the Bunnies have a 30 second version of it
I also sent out my cards and other trinkets... and will shop for naughty outfit for the Christmas party tonight. I just need to see Rudolph and Ill be good to go.
I think it had a lot to do with seeing A Christmas Story this weekend. Nothin speaks to me about Christmas more than "You'll shoot your eye out!"
If you havent seen it... my pals the Bunnies have a 30 second version of it
I also sent out my cards and other trinkets... and will shop for naughty outfit for the Christmas party tonight. I just need to see Rudolph and Ill be good to go.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Baked Baking
And welcome back to 'Cooking with Juicy'!
Before the commercial break, I had just sliced my thumb open with the large knife i was using to cut the onions. To stop the bleeding, I put a bandaid on and smoked some more weed. This time I used the waterpipe, a nicer cooler smoke for this time in the afternoon.
Now lets take a look at our pie: MMMM
Its, of course, apple pie with a lattice top which, in the last 10 minutes of baking, i will be brushing with a butter and sugar glaze, Yum yum!
Our chili is still slow cooking on the stove and boy oh boy does it smell good! I wish you had smell o vision! [audience applause and canned laughter].
I sure hope i dont get the 2 mixed up and end up putting some nutmeg in the chili and some cayenne in the pie. Although maybe that would be tasty. Naw. Lets not.
Ok time for another commercial break. Remember that cooking with Juicy has been brought to you by Motts Clamato and Puff Pipes of Vancouver BC.
[end scene]
Before the commercial break, I had just sliced my thumb open with the large knife i was using to cut the onions. To stop the bleeding, I put a bandaid on and smoked some more weed. This time I used the waterpipe, a nicer cooler smoke for this time in the afternoon.
Now lets take a look at our pie: MMMM
Its, of course, apple pie with a lattice top which, in the last 10 minutes of baking, i will be brushing with a butter and sugar glaze, Yum yum!
Our chili is still slow cooking on the stove and boy oh boy does it smell good! I wish you had smell o vision! [audience applause and canned laughter].
I sure hope i dont get the 2 mixed up and end up putting some nutmeg in the chili and some cayenne in the pie. Although maybe that would be tasty. Naw. Lets not.
Ok time for another commercial break. Remember that cooking with Juicy has been brought to you by Motts Clamato and Puff Pipes of Vancouver BC.
[end scene]
Friday, December 09, 2005
A picture is worth a 1000 words
I dont even know where to start with this thing. I...cant...look...away
( found at Disturbing Auctions)
Dying (and other cheerful topics)
Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of John Lennons death. As a Beatles fan, that totally bummed me out.
The radio was all Beatles yesterday and had little quips from people talking about where they were when they heard...and being that i have recently become the wussiest sap ever [ i cried 4 times during Top Model on Wednesday] i could stop from tearing up while i was listening.
I think the saddest phonecall from a listener was someone whose son was born the day after Lennon's death and made a comment about how bad she felt that John's son, Sean, never had his daddy with him when he was growing up. Fuck. I lost it.
Being the morbid SOB that i am, this made me think about the list of songs i want played at my funeral. Im sure everyone has one of these lists [right?!]. So far Ive come up with:
- Heart of Gold, Neil Young
- California Dreamin', The Mamas and the Papas
- Instant Karma, John Lennon [yes, this one has been on my list a long time... although they played it yesterday and it made me cry]
- Lucky Man, The Verve
- Slide Away, Oasis
-You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, The Beatles [prolly my fave song ever]
And just to lighten the mood and make people laugh, I was thinking
-Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani [or something equally ridiculous that my friends would say represents me]
Also, although i want to be cremated, I want to be wearing something sexy and with a good pair of stillettos. Maybe in one of my evening gowns.
Okay. Now that Ive spent some time talkin bout my demise... Im going to go get a donut.
The radio was all Beatles yesterday and had little quips from people talking about where they were when they heard...and being that i have recently become the wussiest sap ever [ i cried 4 times during Top Model on Wednesday] i could stop from tearing up while i was listening.
I think the saddest phonecall from a listener was someone whose son was born the day after Lennon's death and made a comment about how bad she felt that John's son, Sean, never had his daddy with him when he was growing up. Fuck. I lost it.
Being the morbid SOB that i am, this made me think about the list of songs i want played at my funeral. Im sure everyone has one of these lists [right?!]. So far Ive come up with:
- Heart of Gold, Neil Young
- California Dreamin', The Mamas and the Papas
- Instant Karma, John Lennon [yes, this one has been on my list a long time... although they played it yesterday and it made me cry]
- Lucky Man, The Verve
- Slide Away, Oasis
-You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, The Beatles [prolly my fave song ever]
And just to lighten the mood and make people laugh, I was thinking
-Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani [or something equally ridiculous that my friends would say represents me]
Also, although i want to be cremated, I want to be wearing something sexy and with a good pair of stillettos. Maybe in one of my evening gowns.
Okay. Now that Ive spent some time talkin bout my demise... Im going to go get a donut.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
HNT X: Caught in the Act!
I hate working late...but its something i signed up for when i decided to become a lawyer. so to make it more tolerable, i like to slip into something a little more comfortable when the front door locks and everyone else goes home...
Sadly for me, the damn papparazzi follow me everywhere!
To see more people caught in the act go see da man
Sadly for me, the damn papparazzi follow me everywhere!
To see more people caught in the act go see da man
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
We threw a party and nobody came...
Haha... so funny.
We hada meet and greet with our office and the local real estate offices that give us a bunch of work... and not a single person came.
It was me and my co-workers, dresed up and with carefully prepped snacks and pizza...and no one else.
Oh well, i think i have eaten about 15 mini cupcakes that we bought for our good buddies. I kept suggesting that the partners go buy us 15 bottles of vodka to make the party better [ blatant reference to how damn funny The Office was last night].
We hada meet and greet with our office and the local real estate offices that give us a bunch of work... and not a single person came.
It was me and my co-workers, dresed up and with carefully prepped snacks and pizza...and no one else.
Oh well, i think i have eaten about 15 mini cupcakes that we bought for our good buddies. I kept suggesting that the partners go buy us 15 bottles of vodka to make the party better [ blatant reference to how damn funny The Office was last night].
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Oh Senor Juan!
Remember the Senor?
You are a celebrity, baby!
According to Stat counter, he has been googled as "conquistador painting" 3 times in the last week! So to the good people at the Westin Diplomat Hotel in Florida, thank you. I am sure he enjoys the attention. I take back what i said about Florida. [ haha yes im kidding...]
[in case you are wondering where he was placed in my new house with Jer, do not worry...he hasnt been downgraded to a cellar or basement, he is on the bedroom wall opposite of the bed. Deee-lightful. Every morning i wake to his noble and determined face.]
You are a celebrity, baby!
According to Stat counter, he has been googled as "conquistador painting" 3 times in the last week! So to the good people at the Westin Diplomat Hotel in Florida, thank you. I am sure he enjoys the attention. I take back what i said about Florida. [ haha yes im kidding...]
[in case you are wondering where he was placed in my new house with Jer, do not worry...he hasnt been downgraded to a cellar or basement, he is on the bedroom wall opposite of the bed. Deee-lightful. Every morning i wake to his noble and determined face.]
When my assistant is away...
Juicy will play...
Or Ill just catch up on stuff that has literally been growing mold in my inbox for the last 2 weeks. I hope i dont need to send out any letters, I havent typed anything work related in months. I really wouldnt know what to do.
Its cold here. Its now always cold here. Im going to have to live with it. When i started Obi this morning he made a hiccup noise. I was worried he wasnt planning on starting.
My boss just asked me if i was wearing sweatpants. Well okay, they are grey wool looser cut pants...and i am wearing a suspiciously housecoat-looking sweater...and big silver raver shoes... but i dont look like im in sweatpants. Well, maybe a little.
I bought some neat-o Christmas cards to send out. I plan on sending them today or tomorrow. Some of you lucky cats will be getting funny trinkets as well. I dont know what as of yet, but Im thinking things that can be easily mailed. If you want to be sent one... the email addy is over there under my picture-->.
Being that im just blathering on here, maybe ill also bring up that Ive noticed lately that i have become quite a suck. I cry at reality show finales, at makeover shows, at talk shows...etc. I really dont know why. Last night i was flipping between the 2003 America's Next Top Model finale [and yes, i knew that Adrienne won before i watched it] and the Hell's Kitchen last episode [the dude with tattoos won]. Both made me tear up.
Speaking of both reality TV and work [aha! a segway! i love it] I have to come in on my week off of work [Dec 23 to Jan 02]to go to a Parentage and Maintenance hearing. Basically, this is when someone is denying that they are the baby daddy, and Montel sends everyone for bloodtests and then the DNA test comes back and he says "Jamal, in the case of 4 year old Mo-Nique...You ARE NOT the father"...except instead of Montel its a judge. Yeah. So thats on the 28 th of December. My client is the deadbeat saying "Yo, dawg, that baby looks nuttin like me! Bitch is a 'ho and she be sleeping around!"
Okay. Time to get to it. Woot.
Or Ill just catch up on stuff that has literally been growing mold in my inbox for the last 2 weeks. I hope i dont need to send out any letters, I havent typed anything work related in months. I really wouldnt know what to do.
Its cold here. Its now always cold here. Im going to have to live with it. When i started Obi this morning he made a hiccup noise. I was worried he wasnt planning on starting.
My boss just asked me if i was wearing sweatpants. Well okay, they are grey wool looser cut pants...and i am wearing a suspiciously housecoat-looking sweater...and big silver raver shoes... but i dont look like im in sweatpants. Well, maybe a little.
I bought some neat-o Christmas cards to send out. I plan on sending them today or tomorrow. Some of you lucky cats will be getting funny trinkets as well. I dont know what as of yet, but Im thinking things that can be easily mailed. If you want to be sent one... the email addy is over there under my picture-->.
Being that im just blathering on here, maybe ill also bring up that Ive noticed lately that i have become quite a suck. I cry at reality show finales, at makeover shows, at talk shows...etc. I really dont know why. Last night i was flipping between the 2003 America's Next Top Model finale [and yes, i knew that Adrienne won before i watched it] and the Hell's Kitchen last episode [the dude with tattoos won]. Both made me tear up.
Speaking of both reality TV and work [aha! a segway! i love it] I have to come in on my week off of work [Dec 23 to Jan 02]to go to a Parentage and Maintenance hearing. Basically, this is when someone is denying that they are the baby daddy, and Montel sends everyone for bloodtests and then the DNA test comes back and he says "Jamal, in the case of 4 year old Mo-Nique...You ARE NOT the father"...except instead of Montel its a judge. Yeah. So thats on the 28 th of December. My client is the deadbeat saying "Yo, dawg, that baby looks nuttin like me! Bitch is a 'ho and she be sleeping around!"
Okay. Time to get to it. Woot.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Ahhh Poo!
 Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
If I wore a nametag, thats what it would say. [love to cindy via amy for the fun]
Its Monday. Its bloody hell cold. My oilers lost on Saturday. I have a headache. My clients are making me bonkers. [thought id get all that out of the way] However, im most cranky right now about poo.
Yes, thats right. You read me right. Poo. As in I have pooped a record 14 times today and there appears to be no end in sight.
I wish i was joking right now.
I have theories for this:
- an addiction to coffee and eggnog has caused me to drink approx. 876 litres of the brown gold in the last few days.
- i ate approx. 235 llbs of food last night at Jer's Mom's house. She truly believes in making so much food it would put the Country Buffet to shame...we're talking soup, salad, 2 meat dishes, 2 veggie, 2 starch, bread, and 2 different desserts.
- i had a horrible bout of diarrahea on Thursday... [ i am SOOO pushing the TMI line right now that i thought i would just burst thru it and go all out] so i took some Immodium. I then didnt poop until last night at 11:00pm. I think my pipes got pretty backed up.
I was in Chambers this morning and, being that it was the first Monday of the Month [which means anyone who didnt pay their child support on the 1st or didnt return Jr. on time this weekend, etc. etc. etc. was there] it was fucking insanely busy. I was matter #75 on the list of 125. My client was being irrational and wasnt following my advice, the other lawyer was losing patience with me....and i had to shit really really REALLY bad.
I wonder if i will be reported to the law society for being abrupt with the court because i just wanted to get the hell out of the courtroom so i could take a dump. [ i still got a good deal for the client, though, apparently my ass and my brain arent that connected]
Id love to chat more, but, as you may have guessed, doodie is calling again.
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Friday, December 02, 2005
Fun for Friday
Its fuggin cold [ minus 30 celcius, -22 Farenheit] and im super busy... so i stole this from Bliss cuz it made me laugh, and i am kinda curious whether you all actually know what im about...
Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* football or chess
* hiking or golfing
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or Dockers
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* football or chess
* hiking or golfing
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or Dockers
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Half Nekkid Thursday: Poster child
I stole this from "motivational poster" thingy from The Girl in camouflage... I made a few for my assistant and friends, and well, one for HNT was inevitable....
Go see Os to learn the ropes
Clicky over there--> for my past pics
((pssst... the 3 day reference is when its "acceptable" to sleep with someone you are dating for the first time...of course I have, uhhh, always followed this rule ))
Go see Os to learn the ropes
Clicky over there--> for my past pics
((pssst... the 3 day reference is when its "acceptable" to sleep with someone you are dating for the first time...of course I have, uhhh, always followed this rule ))
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