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If I wore a nametag, thats what it would say. [love to cindy via amy for the fun]
Its Monday. Its bloody hell cold. My oilers lost on Saturday. I have a headache. My clients are making me bonkers. [thought id get all that out of the way] However, im most cranky right now about poo.
Yes, thats right. You read me right. Poo. As in I have pooped a record 14 times today and there appears to be no end in sight.
I wish i was joking right now.
I have theories for this:
- an addiction to coffee and eggnog has caused me to drink approx. 876 litres of the brown gold in the last few days.
- i ate approx. 235 llbs of food last night at Jer's Mom's house. She truly believes in making so much food it would put the Country Buffet to shame...we're talking soup, salad, 2 meat dishes, 2 veggie, 2 starch, bread, and 2 different desserts.
- i had a horrible bout of diarrahea on Thursday... [ i am SOOO pushing the TMI line right now that i thought i would just burst thru it and go all out] so i took some Immodium. I then didnt poop until last night at 11:00pm. I think my pipes got pretty backed up.
I was in Chambers this morning and, being that it was the first Monday of the Month [which means anyone who didnt pay their child support on the 1st or didnt return Jr. on time this weekend, etc. etc. etc. was there] it was fucking insanely busy. I was matter #75 on the list of 125. My client was being irrational and wasnt following my advice, the other lawyer was losing patience with me....and i had to shit really really REALLY bad.
I wonder if i will be reported to the law society for being abrupt with the court because i just wanted to get the hell out of the courtroom so i could take a dump. [ i still got a good deal for the client, though, apparently my ass and my brain arent that connected]
Id love to chat more, but, as you may have guessed, doodie is calling again.
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4 comments:
I was positive that there was something in the by-laws of the bar that one lawyer was to immediately take charge of both clients for the duration if a natural law was superceding man-made laws, and that the failure to do so was somethin' like heresy or treason, definitely punishable, could include pain too. It's a bar thing, isn't it?
I have the poos too, always seems to happen right before that certain magical time of the month (and now I'm not talking about fiscal periods). I was training another person at work last night and I'm sure she was wondering why this girl was in the restroom so often.
I feel your pain!
I took a poo in Japan last week.
Oh no Juicy, did you hit the mandarins again? I bet you ran as fast to the bathroom as a sister dodging dishes after Christmas dinner!!
Lemon
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