Oh, hi. Sorry I never told you on Friday, but we ended up settling the matters with the seller of the house and we did end up getting it. So YAY! 28 days until I have a yard for my doggies, a counter to do my makeup in the bathroom, and a place to actually cook in the kitchen. Fuckin A.
I spent most of the weekend ( despite this joyous news) in bed, feeling like absolute death warmed over. Even today Im a little green, still. I think the most productive thing I did all weekend was sweep the kitchen floor. In fact, that and washing my hair were the only things i did that didnt involve me in a bed or a couch or a bed-couch.
So, Ive been watching this show called jPod on the CBC-- its based on the Douglas Coupland novel and is fucking funny. Anyways, the characters are always musing about whether there is any way you can walk across a room holding a knife , and not look like a psychopath... ( Im still trying at home and not figured anyway out)...but what Ive laso realised, there is no way to eat a banana and not have it look phallic.
You see, Jer bought these abnormally huge bananas last week and I havent been able to eat one and not look like im either giving a handjob or fellatio. If you unpeel it and cut it up...then it looks like you are a psychopath giving fellatio. Any suggestions? Id really like to be able to eat bananas in the open space of my office, instead of closing the door and hiding like a perv.
Its Valentines day this week. Apparently if I "buy something at a mall" it is not romantic. Huh. Any suggestions there, either?
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7 comments:
Yay Home-Ownership!
So Jer's a sensitive romantic bitch-man, huh? I think you should make him a card. With crayons.
I'm back. Kinda sorta. Maybe.
Congrats on the house! Disregard my comment on your last post. :-)
Oh, and when I would walk around a restaurant kitchen with long knives, I would hold it backwards so the blade was under my arm, with the sharp side turned in so I wouldn't cut anybody/thing while walking. I don't think you look like a psychopath, you like a ninja. ;-)
congrats!
Congrats on the house! WOO! Dog yard rocks.
I rather enjoy looking like a psychopath so I walk about with knives all the time. For fun. With the blinds open. Don't fuck with me, people. I'm crazy!
Drop it in liquid nitrogen, then take it out and crack it on your desk with a hammer!
The internet-- where people with good ideas hang out...
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