The Legend of the Chicken Challenge

Its Tuesday already? Crap! I've been busy doing actual legitimate work lately...not just closing my door, turning up the techno, and drafting documents in between my new obsession with blogexplosion. So lets see what have I been up to?

1. Im back on solids. It only took a week. [see: violently ill from smoking hash post from last week]. In fact, Im back on solids with a vengeance. You havent seen me eat chicken until you've seen me eat chicken when im staaaaarving. And I can really eat a lot of chicken. Did i ever tell you about the chicken challenge? I know I'm getting off on a real big digression, but its a good story:

I used to work with this guy named G-off. He liked to eat. A lot. He would eat his first lunch at 10 am and then another at 12 and have a cheeseburger at 3. One day, we realised that the deli by our building sold whole chickens for like $7...so he decided to get one for lunch. A whole chicken. For lunch. And he sat there and ate it with his hands in his office. Quite a sight, really.
However, I told him that it really wasnt that big of a feat-- I mean, I could do it. Famous last words.

So the next day for lunch, he shows up with TWO whole chickens-- and one was for yours truly. He wanted to see if i could actually out eat him ( or at least keep up). Word of the 'chicken challenge' spread thru the office. Now, Im a big eater. Buffets and 'all you can eat' restaurants lose money on me. But, you'd never guess it from looking at me. Im 5ft 8" and weigh approx. 116 llbs. People ask me all the time if i have an eating disorder [seriously. they do. its annoying.] So at 3 pm, we sat down [in the fancy office boardroom of all places...hmmm. why'd i get fired, again?] and ate our chickens.

Yes. I ate the whole thing. And in good time, too. People werent so much shocked or impressed as disgusted. However, we gave the victory to G-off because I had to lay down after inhailing close to 5 lbs of meat, while he admitted to still being hungry.

What was I talking about? Right. Chicken. I like it. And i can eat shitloads of it. And i did last night.

Well, its not about chicken, but lets keep on keepin on with my weekend..

2. Did this 12 hour relay for cancer research which consisted of me staying awake all night sans liquor or drugs and walking around this track. And let me tell you, if you think im wonky normally, you should see me when im sleep deprived. I honestly believe now that all those raves i useda go to? Yeah. I was fucked because i was tired-- not from all the drugs. Well, maybe the drugs helped. I was a one woman singing/dancing machine. At one point i was announcing everything like i was a caller from the World Poker Tour....and at another i was kicking imaginary field goals for the Buffalo Bills.

3. No real partying happened. Jer had to work on Saturday night. If you find yourself in Calgary, visit the Castle Pub on a Sat. night. If you see a big, cranky looking guy at the door that seems to have no sense of humor, you found my beloved. Offer him a sandwich. That'll make him happy.

Well sheeyit. That was a super long post. Man oh man did typing it make me hungry. I wonder if there's a place around here that sells whole chickens. I feel a challenge comin' on....