Juicy opens her Spam Folder

"We cannot be sure that this patient's exposure to butter flavored microwave popcorn from daily heavy preparation has caused his lung disease," cautioned Dr. Cecile Rose. "However, we have no other plausible explanation."

Yahoo news story-- Popcorn fumes cause Cancer.

Congratulations. That is the most fucking ridiculous thing I have heard in weeks.

I am currently enjoying some chicken soup. And it smells delicious-- I sure hope Im not going to get lung cancer from that cuz that would be a shame. Not just because it smells so good, but because we've all been living under the delusion that chicken soup is good for the soul. Good for the soul--Bad for the lungs.

So today, cuz I am now in 'one of those moods' i thought I would reply to some spam Ive been getting lately. It seems that there are 4 or 5 companies/ people out there who feel the need to send me spam on an hourly basis. (sorry-- Nothing from Irina. I think she got the message last time....)


1. To Harvey Investment Team

You have sent me approx. 35 messages in the last week for your company. Please note my comments (in bold)Today we are looking for customer service associates who share our command spirit
Command spirit -- Wasnt that Shee-Ra's Horse? Do we get to share it with Shee-ra? I dont think that would work for me. Im also concerned of horse hair/pegasus wing dust getting in the computer
and are looking to land an outstanding position with a company who has consistently been recognized on the national level for their work in the investment and securities area. Its been so recognized that it has to spam people to get interest in their company. I dont think that companies put your name on 'block sender' lists is the same as 'recognition'.We work tirelessly to build solid relationships with well-recognized organizations across the nation to learn about projects and opportunities. work tirelessly= spam mercilessly

Take a look at the job responsibilities and qualifications below and if you think you would be an asset to the team, we invite you to apply for the position. I invite you to stop sending me emails and then if the responsibilities and qualifications are right, kiss my ass

The associate should deduct his 10% interest out of every transaction he is going to deal with, as well as all the related charges. The associate further makes a Western Union/MoneyGram transfer of the balance left to the company's regional department Oohhhy, I get it. You hire me, I send you money. Fuck! This truly is the best company ever

Thank you for your interest in my email

Juicy

2.

Dear customer of The Royal Bank of Scotland,

RBS Customer Service requests you to complete Digital Banking Online Form.

Please click hyperlink below to access Digital Banking Online Form.

Please do not respond to this email.

This procedure is obligatory for all RBS Digital Banking users.

Dear random spammer attempting to get Banking info from me about the Royal Bank of Scotland

Juicy Customer Service requests you to fuck off and die.

Please stick your head in an oven to complete your demise.

Please do not respond to this email. Especially if you are dead or a zombie.

This procedure is obligatory for all Bank Spammer companies

cc: TC Canada Trust, Royal Bank, Brightons Bank....etc.

Juicy

3. To: Casa@WEbpower.cox
re: Here comes the bell

Here comes the delete.

Juicy

4. To the various people sending me some link stating: LESBIANS ON THE INTERNET

Dudes, not interested. If I was interested, googling 'lesbians on the internet' would prolly give me enough links for a century of lesbian watching action. I really believe that a large reason why the internet is as popular as it is is because of people's obsessions with lesbians on the internet. Therefore, if I want lesbians, I will find them. They do not need to email me. What? Are internet lesbians that needy?

Juicy

Ok that was fun.

Tomorrows post will be full of pictures that I will begin taking with my new camera once the batteries it came with are full.

Until then, watch that popcorn inhalation and good luck finding lesbians on the internet.


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