I always see weird shit at Walmart. Im not too sure why. From people in fistfights to kids running around naked, its like its this weird twilight-zone vortex of strange people doing or, as i saw today, saying weird things.
So at lunch hour today I was at Walmart shopping for mouse traps and poison [ yes... this is what my life has become] and this girl in the cleaning products aisle, which was at least 1 or 2 down from me, was having a very loud conversation on her cell phone.... here is an exerpt from said conversation as i heard it:
Well its your fault that he invited me.
Yes. Yes. What? No!
No... Its YOUR fault.. No!!
[silence for approx 2 minutes...]
Well you PRACTICALLY TOLD ME TO FUCK HIM!
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
[burst into sobs]
i [sob] love[sob] you.
[more crying]
YOU FUCK! YOU FUCK! YOU CANT BREAK UP WITH ME!
At this point I had decided to not purchase the mouse traps they had there and began walking out of the store. As I passed the cleaning product aisle I looked and saw a girl, about 15 who was either a lot chunky or a little pregnant sitting on the ground crying into her cell phone. An elderly lady holding a potted plant was at the end of the aisle staring at her blankly.
Im not sure whats worse. Breaking up with someone over the phone...or breaking up while in Wal-Mart on the friggin cell phone and deciding to pretty much announce it to anyone within earshot.
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4 comments:
Is this just your karma deviating from the norm? What happened to ass music? etc.? See what happens when you try to settle down? Still rooting for ya!
Dude, that's fucked up.
Monty, he's so excitable, isn't he?
Monty's great. Awww, Mom, can we keep him?
I'm not excitable, I just fell for you two big time. I just read you piece on the people of Calgary needing you. Makes me proud to know you! I'm actually pretty laid back. Comes from years of being stoned. And pretty happy too.
Of course you can keep me. And, I don't eat much. And after a while, you'd make me the personal chef. But I gotta warn you, you're gonna put on weight. You too Cindy,
The following dishes are a snap:
veal cordon blue
any quiche
how about a filet wrapped in bacon that I fileted and filled with a soft garlic cheese
egg plant parmesian takes about four hours
old fashioned sour cream chocolate cake takes about four hours
perhaps salmon with dill
heaven and earth as a side dish
now, Cindy, I'm excited!
btw, why was it fucked up?
I was the dude, wasn't I?
I also know how to invest!
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