Lake water Enema

I know there are many people who are totally kinkified with enemas, but lemme tell you the one i gave myself on Sunday while tubing was not one to recommend. Me, on an inner tube, being dragged behind a high power jet boat...and then being flung into the air and THWACK! onto the water. Yeah. Its Wednesday and im still feeling it.

This weekend was spent, for the most part, on a boat on Sylvan Lake...which is pretty cool. I dont water ski or wake board...so i really just sit there and watch. Maybe its just me but i dont find it very fun to feel like your arms are being ripped from the sockets and your legs are being bashed by waves. Everyone else thinks its the best thing ever. Whatever, weirdos.



On Saturday night we decided to stay in Red Deer (like 1.5 hrs from Calgary and 15 min from Sylvan) but needed a hotel that could accompany myself, Jer, Jer's bro, his wife and son, and also a giant boat in the parking lot. Our first attempt at hotelling only had smoking rooms (something that makes no difference to me...but Jer's bro and his family are all new-age yuppie/hippies who only eat organic shit and dont believe in the deep fried or, apparently, anything smoke related). The next hotel looked a little (okay, okay, a lot) more shady-- and only after we had paid for our rooms, realised that there were people shooting heroin in the parking lot. Well, if you arent in to smoking, ya better believe these guys were not into junkies.....

Yesterday my bootcamp occurred in the rain, wind and the hail....and involved us running and climbing this monster stair case beside this hill. I cant feel anything from the waist down...including my poor butthole which is still angry about aforementioned lake 'incident'.

On the front of the pink dragon, my attempts to get her fired and hire someone with at least half a brain have finally succeeded...we (really, just me) found someone who we are planning to hire tomorrow....and send the dragon packing on friday. Maybe i should feel bad about this...but the chick is a fucking idiot. It doesnt take a rocket surgeon to answer the phones and open the mail...but you would think it does...

I got reported to the law society again. Its because of this ca-razy client i had who would talk to me and be all 'everything is good...no rush for anything....' and then be freaking out on my staff and my partners (another person who told on me to the principal) that i wasnt doing anything she needed. Fuck, I hate these fucking ingrates.

Im really going to try to write more than once a week.

this is my angry face

i hate the following:

-passing the buck

-overdramatic whining

-stupidity

-hot weather

and all are happening in my office right now.

I think im quittin my job and becoming a wandering minstrel.

Mid Season Hiatus

Sorry everyone... ive been out of blog commission the last few weeks. Nothing personal, just too busy to log in, type out something whimsical, and then log out. I havent been on face book either, so its not like im playing online favourites.

So guys, whats up?

Not much going on here. Stampede just finished. I avoided all things cowboy as much as possible and only hit up the carnival one of the last days and rode some rides.

I also saw possibly the coolest guy ever-- he was this homie wearing white jeans, a basketball jersey and about 45 llbs of gold jewellry. The girl with him (who for lack of a better term was totally his 'ho') was wearing about roughly the same amount of bling. We followed them as they went from beer stand to beer stand throught the fair grounds. I honestly wonder if they were like celebrities or something cuz they seemed to be trying to be incognito. I heard Nicole Ritchie was in town for Stampede. Maybe she just looks that bad in person.

Its over 30 degrees right now (and has been for the last 4 days) and its making everyone (especially me) very crabby. I havent slept well in days. At least its air conditioned in here. Maybe i should move my bed into work. Its so hot that my little garbage guts greyhound is even off her food.

I have decided that im in fact a fatty fat fat fat and have begun a bootcamp program happening on tuesdays and thursdays for 1.5 hrs per session. I puked three times the first class. Yeah, its THAT good. Oh yeah-- and running up stairs and doing jumping jacks in intesive heat? Yeah, not really a fun experience.

I floated down the river on a raft yesterday. I think i gave myself the brain damage. Im not doing too well today. I did drink alot of Schnapps in that hot hot sun.

Yep. Thats about it. See ya in another 4 weeks (joking...maybe)