The Fables of Juicy #6: I am an angry driver

It is even hard for me to post a picture about said driving...because I am too angry while i am driving to post a picture.

I yell at passing cars. I yell at people on the street. I yell at traffic lights...stop signs..curbs.. yah, you get it. I need to listen to my music very very loud to drown out the fact that I am angry at everything around me.

If you are wondering who I listen to when i drive the answer is thus:

LES SAVY FAV

I saw LSF this summer in Calgary...and have not listened to another CD in my car since. I have 4 of their albums which i just go between.

If you go to their myspace page... listen to The Equestrian, The Sweat Descends, and Raging in the Plague Age... and picture someone in a silver VW driving angry and erratic driving 20 km above the speed limit...and thrashing to the music. Yah. Thats me.

So its Halloween again. In my never ending battle to find original costumes that no one really understands... I wore this this year. My camera died before I could get a better shot... but I was also wearing pink shorts and red cowboy boots.

Now, smartypantses... who was I?

The Fables of Juicy #6: I hate wearing socks.

Note: Winter Coat



Note: ridiculous shoes

Today there was snow on the ground. This pisses me off. It makes wearing ridiculous sandal-type open toed shoes pretty hard. And man do you get weird looks when you are wearing open shoes and scraping ice and snow off your car in the morning.

It appears that socks may be in my future. And this pisses me off.

So I was reading crappy gossip sites at noon and found out that although I have been writing 2007 on all my documents, its actually 1997.

It appears that AQUA and Ace of Bass are both getting back together and putting out albums. Along with the Spice Girls, its like the late 1990s are back. Whats next? A reunion on Fresh Prince of Bel Air? A Fat Oprah? A straight Ellen DeGeneres?

I went to Canadian Tire yesterday and instead of picking up some chairs... I was guilted by some dude to buy a $25.00 calendar. Yeah, I know. Calendars are usually free...found in restaurants and dentist offices each year with nary a cost.

And its not like they really made me feel bad for their charity or anything... it was just like the dude came up to me, shook my hand, and started his plight about said calendar...and i think i blacked out or something for 10 minutes, and at the end of it I was holding the calendar and a receipt for $25.00 in my hand. Maybe he was a witch or something. It made me think of times when Homer Simpson is thinking about doing something...and by the time he decides what to do, he's already in his car driving away. D'Oh!

Jer and I are thinking about heading to Vegas for the 24- 29th ( I wont call it Christmas, cuz, well, y'know)...its not a done deal yet. We are still looking into places/ dates to go etc. I can say that Jer is making it next to impossible for me to plan the trip though ( NOTE TO JER SHOULD HE READ THIS: YEAH, I SAID IT... YOU ARE BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS) as everytime I research something, plan it out with Expedia with 3 different possible choose-your-own-adventure type scenarios hes all "uhhh... what if we stayed (here) instead" or "did you look at (some fucking random thing Id never think of) as well?"... then I say "No" and he makes me re-research it. When I say "Why dont YOU look that up" he comes up with some excuse (ususally about Hockey or how tired he is) and then thats it.

To make a long story short (ooh too late) If I want to actually go to Vegas-- I need to plan it myself or it aint gonna happen.

Anyone got any big suggestions for Las Vegas or Reno?

A note to parents:

Free Texas Dating

Fucking rights fuck! Motherfucking motherfuck! Hahaha!

The Fables of Juicy #5: I generally lack professionalism

This is what im wearing right now. Along with a pair of dress pants, blouse...and pair of white and green sketchers.

Maybe I SHOULD be concerned about this. Naaaaaaaah.

Anyhoo the reason for my lack of care about the legal profession is basically because my woes with the Law Society are far from over. They want me to respond to a bunch of questions where my answer for everything is basically "No, I didnt do this. I wish I would had..but hindsight is 20-20". Im actually half pissed off and half totally bummed about it. I wish it was one of those situations where I could just say that I didnt know better at the time... I do now...and I wont make that mistake again. ( I tried this approach. They didnt like it)

Jeremy's response to their continuing investigation was a dozen roses-- with a card saying 'Fuck the Law Society'.

In other craptacular news, I just found out that my Grandmother has cancer...and had a masectomy yesterday. Im glad to hear she is now ok, but Im kinda pissed off that no one bothered to tell me previously. I am glad to also hear that her spirits are also feisty and positive: when asked if she was getting a boob implant reconstruction she said "only if I meet a hot guy on the way to surgery". Anyways, now I feel better for doing my part for Boobiethon... and now for the Bras for the Cause that Im doing this weekend. Im not just a perv, Im doing it for Gram.

Also, my fish died yesterday. Poor guy.

This post is bumming me out.

This is something awesome...and answers the question of what my talent would be if i was in a beauty pageant


If I hadnt already picked out my costume for Halloween this year...it'd be her.

What the Fuck Have I been up to that Ive been too busy to blog...

Controlling the virtual Buck Hunter deer population



Giving Obi a complex



Celebrating my Quincenera



Powerboatin'



Cupping random balls



Stalking cute oriental children



Making out with statues

Well.. its a lot more interesting than just saying that I have been really busy at work since i went on my trip and havent had a chance to blog...

Gone but not forgotten

So everytime I go away it takes roughly twice as long to make time to blog. If I wasn't sending this from my phone I'd draw a graph.
I'm at Juliet s castle and I might be drunk on jugs of rum and coke.
And watching the flames. Boo.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

The sun always shines in East Van.

I'm here in Vancouver and have eaten an obscene amount of sushi. This place rules.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network