All bound for MuMu land

I forgot how awesome this song was until i found it at "Retrocrush" on their list of best duets.

I need to watch a lot of funny videos and listen to funny songs lately because I have had this gawd awful commercial for the telephone company in my head. This company, Telus, has these stupid animal commercials and this one of these stupid fucking parrots dancing and AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH ITS IN MY HEAD. GET IT OUT GET IT OUT.

Fuck. Is there a full moon right now? People are damned crusty lately. A client just emailed me a letter saying that my assistant was too nice and friendly on the phone and she didnt appreciate paying for that type of service. I have since instructed my assistant to be a rotten bitch to her on the phone. Cheers, Cunt!

Good news: My sis and her boys are coming to see me this weekend. Im pumped.

Bad News: Jer is going away from tonite to next Monday for a hockey tournament. Ill be all alone. Le sigh.

So heres something full of awesome-- my Oilers are playing amazingly well right now and are only 5 points out of the playoffs. I can feel it. They are going to make it. I was so excited last night i was screaming like a crazy person...and with now not having basement tenants, I can be as obnoxious as I want in my house. Too fun. And such great acoustics.



kay. like watch that. it made me laugh. her name is Wendy Ho-- its called "Bitch, I stole your purse"

Greetings from the Funeral District

Yes. I moved.

Into a house located in an area of Calgary famed for its cemetaries and funeral homes-- Highland Park. Come for the cremations, stay for the burial...

Id like to say it was a pretty easy move but it wasnt. I dont want to relive the whole hellish experience, but here are some highlights.

1. Jer and I decided to do all the packing last Saturday. And to help us, we decided to dabble in the cocaine. All of a sudden I was a one woman packing machine. Say what you want to about hard drugs, sometimes they have a great purpose.

2. We decided ( after realising how much shit we actually had) to rent a truck instead of relying on loading stuff into Jer's brother's pick up truck... which brings us to how...

3. Everyone pretty much bailed on us. Jers younger brother was there from 400 to 600 and his older brother from 1030 to 1100. The rest was us...I was not a happy camper. Moving into a split level is like deciding you want to do a major workout on a stairclimber...while holding boxes.

4. The dogs were stressed the whole time. We tried to keep them amused with toys, bones, and going for walks, but they still were annoyed. To make it worse, at 10 pm when we were all pissy and stressy, Digit decided to bite Eva....taking a chunk out of her ear and making her bleed everywhere. Niiiice.

5. I was also not impressed by the fact that after moving from 700 am to 130 am, I had to go to Court the next morning. Man oh man was i piiiiisssssed.

6. We spent all day Wednesday cleaning our old place. Ug. Again, not fun.

Despite all that crap, we are now in a kickass house in a kickass neighbourhood and my puppies have a big yard to run around in. I dont plan to keep writing about my house, cuz I find it kinda boring...and this aint Home and Garden TV...go somewhere else to hear about the benefits of eggshell vs. ecru paint, you sickos... But, here are some shots of what it looked like when we moved in...



bedroom loft and kitchen



My living room = ski lodge



i have a real kitchen!



Bubble window to the left..bedroom to the right



happy greyhounds

Make it work

Days to move: A few

Boxes Packed: Still not that many

Whoa, so i move really soon. I guess i should be getting excited. I am, I guess, but not like how I expected to be. Im also kinda sad about moving out of our current place.

I think i am more excited about the fact that Im taking 5 days off to move. Wahoo! I dont have to be around stupid clients for almost a week!

I bought a new fish today. In the spirit of my favorite show... his name is Tim Gunn Jr. Im not sure why i thought of that name when i saw him, but i did. And now whenever i look at him, I hear Tim's voice... or better yet, I hear Santino Rice doing his best Tim Gunn impression. What happened to Andre? (ps. Im referring to Project Runway)

Here is Tim:



In the spirit of my second fave show, here i am looking fierce in a new dress I bought for spring. (ps. Im referring to Top Model)

If you dont like baby animals, then I dont like you

Days to move: 6
Boxes Packed: ehrm....some....not many...some


Yesterday there was a provincial election in Alberta. Albertans are fucking idiots...thats all I have to say about that.

This weekend was Jer's birthday extravaganza-- which was really just getting drunk at the bowling alley, rolling some balls, then going and eating chicken wings and ribs while watching UFC Pay-per view. Actually, it was a pretty fun day. We were in bed by 1130pm. (of course we were wasted at 300-- so whaddaya expect?)

I have learned that there is a fine line in my alcohol consumption where I go from being an ok bowler...to a good bowler...to an awesome bowler...to absolute shit. I would keep hitting my 'awesome bowler' status...then have a drink and get a gutterball. I should take graph paper with me next time I bowl and make a chart.

So in a way to convince me to lose weight, I decided to start taking one of those supplements they advertise on channel 02. Even if its a placebo, I figure I may fool myself into thinking that Ive lost weight or am not hungry. Im taking this one where the bottle "Guarantees"* that Ill lose 30 pounds** in 30 days!***"

(*Then it has stars that say--no, its not really a guarantee)
(** Results not typical)
(*** Please see a doctor, pharmacist, voodoo healer or barrista before starting this diet regime.)

So now whenever i look in the mirror I say "30 pounds in 30 days!!" and then guess how much weight ive lost since the last time i looked in the mirror. A quarter pound? Half? Ive been on them 3 days-- so I must be down that much so far...****

(****yes, im kidding)