This soup tastes kinda funny

Im eating Wild mushroom and turkey soup-- the after taste is vaguely 'magic' tasting...like psilocybin. Its kinda making me nauseaous. And makes me think i should hole up in a room somewhere before the walls start melting. Im the Pretty Prince of Parties!

My Stampeders won the Grey Cup on Sunday YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *insert victory dance* I am now worried that it is going to be hard to get season tickets for the 2009 season. Poop. Is it bad that part of me was cheering against them?

Work is about to get super fucked up. Ohhh how I love the Christmas season. I am just about to leave for a settlement meeting. I have 3 this week plus I am in discoveries for 2 whole days. Wanna know how fucking boring that is? Excessively fucking boring. Eight hours of listening to someone else ask questions. Then eight hours of asking questions. Honestly, I wish I could hire someone else to do it for me. Like a hobo. Id loan him or her a suit of Jer's. I'd even watch his shopping cart for him while he did it.

This Saturday is Over the Top Hip Hop. I may buck the trend and not wear hot pants this year. I am going as a chola instead.

November 19-- fuck! already?

First of all, its November 19. I hate November 19.

I really had grandiose plans of blogging for every day of November. I am a dreamer. An unrealistic dreamer.

In case you are unaware (ie. because you are a. not Canadian or b. do not care) Calgary's football team the Stampeders, which I do actually cheer for, are in the Grey Cup this Sunday. I am very very very excited about this. I have been to a bunch of Stamps games this season and was at last Saturday's triumphant victory. Had we not of won, I would likely be complaining about how frickin cold it was that day...but the memory of my frozen ass is not as great as the jubilation of the win.

Saturday also Jer and I found this really cute baby kitten on our street. We brought her in, fed her, kept her overnight and put up signs in our neighbourhood. I was starting to think that even a dog person can like a cat....until Eva tried to eat her. We ended up taking her to a vet clinic who would look for her owner or take her to the SPCA if no one showed. I am still kinda sad about it.

I am also sad about my pant situation. I own pants varying in sizes from 2 to 10. None fit me...and not in the ways you'd expect. I have size 8s that are too small and 4s that i need a belt to keep up. Seriously. what the fuck? Id go buy new ones, but what size? And really, what would be the point? So the next time I lose/gain five pounds they wont fit? Fuck it. Im buying all lycra from now on.

I am now officially in love with Flight of the Conchords. I giggle about them all day long. Currently I have the French song in my head. Ahhh, La conversation dans la parc! I guess what makes them even funnier is that Jer manages a band with 2 people in it...and made a video...and tshirts...with robots. I havent asked if he does roll call at the beginning of each meeting.

Hey, how 'bout them Oilers?

This post has been quite the clusterfuck. I have pretty much posted 6 different posts in one. That means Im only 2 days off from posting every day this month. Yippee.

I lost my parking ticket. Now my first born child belongs to the centennial parkade.

I'm at a fancy firm downtown. The mints in the candy dish have their initials on it.

I think they forgot I'm here. The bike messanger is also lonely.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

While it seems that everyone else in the free world was watching his acceptance speech I was in bed reading a Douglas Adams book.

So, I love exit polls. It was one of my fave things to write about when I got my first degree ( Fun fact: My Political Science BA has a specialization in Political Psychology and Voting Behaviour.). On all the twenty seven hours of election coverage, they base so much of their info on what people are telling them...effectively informing those who have not yet voted who is likely ahead if they want to jump on the old bandwagon...however, a lot of people do lie. No one wants to be a racist or sexist, right?

So, because all that I do on my blog is educational and scientific, I decided to do my own exit polls:


Name: Ma'at-- Egyptian Goddess of Virtue and Justice.
Age: Few thousand or so
Voted for: McCain. They were in the same homeroom in Home Ec.



Name: Princess Puppyhead
Age: 6 mos.
Voted For: McCain. As a pitbull, she also likes wearing lipstick sometimes. And shes full of folksy cuteness...*wink*



Name: Snowbie the Non-Seasonal Snowman
Age: twenty something
Voted for: Obama. A snowman for all seasons, a president for all reasons. (I told him this was lame and he got really mad at me)



Name: Gumby and his "life partner" Pokey
Age: Mid 50s
Voted for: Obama. Ahem, guess why.



Then I told them all that they are just the toys in my office and not elligible to vote due to the facts that they are 1) Not registered 2) Not American and 3) Inanimate.

Happy Blow-vember

This month already blows. Congratulations! (said in the Target Lady's voice. I miss the Target Lady. Where did you get those rainbow suspenders! They will look perfect with my green quilted pantsuit!)

Notwithstanding that quoting the Target Lady has now brought a smile to my face, I am pissy. Here I was all planning to post my halloween pics on here....and then one of those shittay things that happens only to me happens... I WAS FUCKING SERVED.

I am being sued by a client of mine from 2005 who was a total dickhead and says because of my negligence he is out $68 000. I know i will be okay, as the even that he said i "negligently performed" was actually something that happened before I was his lawyer, worked at this firm, or was even called to the bar yet. Its still a reaaaaal fucking piss off, though. I need to go through all the steps of hiring counsel and defending this fucking thing. Like i said, happy fucking Blowvember.

In related news, I am going to take a bag of Digi and Eva's dogshit and throw it at his house.

In other related news, I want to punch this fucking douchenozzle until blood pumps out of his mouth, ears, and nose.

Ahhh. I feel better now. Here is me as Princess Leia.



Here Princess Leia says 'Help me dead Elvis and Vampirella...you are my only hope"