So y'know how i like doing rash things? And how i like spending money that i dont actually have? Well, if you thought me going to Belize on 10 days notice was nuts....
Im going to Mexico in 8 days with the Boy!!!! Yippee!
All you can eat, drink and rawk out for 7 friggin days. Me, my boy, and the beach. Fuck! Its gonna be wikked! Who knows what mischief I can get into this time, especially with such a great partner in crime.... Dont worry, Ill bring a notepad and record all the friggin crazy shite that goes on!
p.s. in the spirit of going to Mexico, I made tacos tonight for din din. yum yummy. I fucken rule.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
What is Montel trying to tell me?
Ive decided to not blog about my relationship with Mr. Irrational anymore... I just decided it wasnt really cool. I mean, Id be cranky if he'd be bitching and bragging about our relationship to gawd knows who, and then I accidently came across it. And felt betrayed, hurt, and confused. I guess what im sayin is that I have to think of things in relation to how i would feel if the shoe was on the other foot...
And thats how Montel Williams [ a show i rarely watch..but caught my eye today] fits into today's post. He was talking about what to do when you find out that your signifigant other is cheating on you by accident... and how to deal with it and address it. Is it better to confront them right away? Make them chose? Ask them about it and have them explain/tell you the truth? What if they confess? What to do then?
So what does all this mean to lil Juicy A and her ever breaking, little trusting heart? I basically need to be more considerate...and hope that if I caught him doing something, he'd respect me, tell me the truth, and rectify the situation in a way that wouldnt hurt me. That he'd realise that we need to trust each other and without that trust, we are totally, utterly, and completely finished.
Hence, all talk of our relationship stops.........NOW.
[dont worry, dear reader, I still do lotsa other fugged up stuff to fill reams of my blog...and Ill still tell stories that hes in, just none of this emotional stuff. yeah.]
And thats how Montel Williams [ a show i rarely watch..but caught my eye today] fits into today's post. He was talking about what to do when you find out that your signifigant other is cheating on you by accident... and how to deal with it and address it. Is it better to confront them right away? Make them chose? Ask them about it and have them explain/tell you the truth? What if they confess? What to do then?
So what does all this mean to lil Juicy A and her ever breaking, little trusting heart? I basically need to be more considerate...and hope that if I caught him doing something, he'd respect me, tell me the truth, and rectify the situation in a way that wouldnt hurt me. That he'd realise that we need to trust each other and without that trust, we are totally, utterly, and completely finished.
Hence, all talk of our relationship stops.........NOW.
[dont worry, dear reader, I still do lotsa other fugged up stuff to fill reams of my blog...and Ill still tell stories that hes in, just none of this emotional stuff. yeah.]
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Princess Temper-tantrum meets Mr. Irrational
One day, Princess Temper-tantrum met a boy who she really liked. He was wonderful and funny and she had great times with him. However, he, like her also was very opinionated, stubborn, and liked to say things to pick fights. Thats why he was named Mr. Irrational.
Most of the time the Princess could handle his constant jabs and the fact that he said things just to make her angry. Then one day.... he learned why HER name was Princess Temper-tantrum. She got pissy, packed up all her stuff, and went home to drink by herself [ which she never does] until she fell asleep on the couch snuggling a bottle of vodka.
In the morning, the Princess saw that Mr. Irrational had sent her an email [which, to be totally honest, she didnt really understand-- being that it was obvious that it was sent at 3 am while under the influence of alcohol and possibly drugs] saying that he didnt want her to be crabby with him anymore.
The Princess read this, went to the gym for a while [and beat the living shit out of a heavy bag], showered, called him and....
Well, I havent called him yet. But you get the gist. I think both of us need to find a place that sells 'nice pills'... or maybe we just need to stop taking our 'asshole pills' so much...
Most of the time the Princess could handle his constant jabs and the fact that he said things just to make her angry. Then one day.... he learned why HER name was Princess Temper-tantrum. She got pissy, packed up all her stuff, and went home to drink by herself [ which she never does] until she fell asleep on the couch snuggling a bottle of vodka.
In the morning, the Princess saw that Mr. Irrational had sent her an email [which, to be totally honest, she didnt really understand-- being that it was obvious that it was sent at 3 am while under the influence of alcohol and possibly drugs] saying that he didnt want her to be crabby with him anymore.
The Princess read this, went to the gym for a while [and beat the living shit out of a heavy bag], showered, called him and....
Well, I havent called him yet. But you get the gist. I think both of us need to find a place that sells 'nice pills'... or maybe we just need to stop taking our 'asshole pills' so much...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Juicy A Does Martha Stewart....again!
Ok, im more of a slutty version of Ms. Stewart, but a domestic diva I surely am!
This is the second time Ive tried to impress the boy by feeding him stuff that takes me hours to make. And, like the cabbage rolls before them, the lasagna was consumed quite quickly and while under the influence of al-ky-hol. In fact, it was us wasted scarfing down two-thirds of this pan on a Wednesday night drunk at about 2 am. What can be expected? We were hungry from all that humpin in the women's washroom at the bar....
I bet Martha never had that problem.
This is the second time Ive tried to impress the boy by feeding him stuff that takes me hours to make. And, like the cabbage rolls before them, the lasagna was consumed quite quickly and while under the influence of al-ky-hol. In fact, it was us wasted scarfing down two-thirds of this pan on a Wednesday night drunk at about 2 am. What can be expected? We were hungry from all that humpin in the women's washroom at the bar....
I bet Martha never had that problem.
Sluts of the World Unite!
http://www.okcupid.com/slut
Hmmm. Love taking these types of tests...but is it a bad thing to be so dang proud of just how slutty i am? Maybe if you ask nice ill tell ya my score.... [it was rather high, BTW.]
On another test, I also found out that im really good at using difficult words properly. Me speak gooder than youre going to speaking.
Hmmm. Love taking these types of tests...but is it a bad thing to be so dang proud of just how slutty i am? Maybe if you ask nice ill tell ya my score.... [it was rather high, BTW.]
On another test, I also found out that im really good at using difficult words properly. Me speak gooder than youre going to speaking.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Rock and Friggin Roll!
Dude! I had a job interview. At a law firm, even. Cross yer fingers.
ps. The boy situation is good. I have to stop being such a freak out. Or at least not a dramatic one. I guess when you get 2 people who are admittedly stubborn and hot headed together its not surprising to have a little bit of a spat now and then. Sure is a lot better than my past sit-quietly-and-be-really-upset-and-pretend-everything-is-fine routine I useda do with other boys...
pps Big props to Juicy's first and only fan Mark in Australia! Woot!
ps. The boy situation is good. I have to stop being such a freak out. Or at least not a dramatic one. I guess when you get 2 people who are admittedly stubborn and hot headed together its not surprising to have a little bit of a spat now and then. Sure is a lot better than my past sit-quietly-and-be-really-upset-and-pretend-everything-is-fine routine I useda do with other boys...
pps Big props to Juicy's first and only fan Mark in Australia! Woot!
Friday, March 18, 2005
Puttin 'hip' in Hypocrite
So like mere hours after the last post, I told the boy that I have a serious jealousy problem...and that something needed to change, or it was gonna cause some big time problems for us. Long story short, we kinda had it out. Our convo went from me trying to be better...to him telling me anecdotes about some of his past scores... to him insinuating that i was overly promiscuous [ yeah, I know I know... But he didn't need to bring it up]. The incident ended with me sleeping on the couch for a few hours and smoking some cigarettes.
We are okay now. Its been fine. And I have noticed that since then, I joke about him checking out other girls but I haven't noticed him actually doing it. But it has dredged up another concern for me-- his past is as bad as mine. Some of the stories he told me were pretty uncool. I mean, I admit to humpin roommates, guys whose names I cant recall [ or maybe never actually bothered to get], a bunch of friends within the same week, a guy in a coatroom... blah blah blah... but I really don't wanna think of the boy in the same way. Hello, my name is Juicy, and Im a fuckin hypocrite.
Maybe this is the old madonna-whore complex that ive heard about guys having... Everyone wants to go to bed with a porn star, and wake up with a virgin. I like to think of it as all my boys come to me with a clean slate, in a bubble wrapped package with no past....and go back into that box when im done with them. I don't like to picture them with exes...or with people they date after we're through.
I dunno. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe being with someone who has been down the dirty road like I have will understand why I don't want to be like that anymore and help me stay on the less-dirty [ lets be realistic-- am I ever going to want to take the 'clean' route? the non- naughty route? I fuggin don't think so...] road.
Maybe I should stop being a bloody hypocrite and just let myself be happy for a change.
We are okay now. Its been fine. And I have noticed that since then, I joke about him checking out other girls but I haven't noticed him actually doing it. But it has dredged up another concern for me-- his past is as bad as mine. Some of the stories he told me were pretty uncool. I mean, I admit to humpin roommates, guys whose names I cant recall [ or maybe never actually bothered to get], a bunch of friends within the same week, a guy in a coatroom... blah blah blah... but I really don't wanna think of the boy in the same way. Hello, my name is Juicy, and Im a fuckin hypocrite.
Maybe this is the old madonna-whore complex that ive heard about guys having... Everyone wants to go to bed with a porn star, and wake up with a virgin. I like to think of it as all my boys come to me with a clean slate, in a bubble wrapped package with no past....and go back into that box when im done with them. I don't like to picture them with exes...or with people they date after we're through.
I dunno. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe being with someone who has been down the dirty road like I have will understand why I don't want to be like that anymore and help me stay on the less-dirty [ lets be realistic-- am I ever going to want to take the 'clean' route? the non- naughty route? I fuggin don't think so...] road.
Maybe I should stop being a bloody hypocrite and just let myself be happy for a change.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
www.tryingtobeabetterperson.com
Ok. So Ive noticed that my blogorama has turned from a day to day account of my scoring successes and drinking victories, to me whinging [pronounced "win-ge-ing"...its sumpin the the aussies useda say to me] about things. Am I boring you? Sorry.
Anyhoo, so im trying to be all mentally healthy and shite and forgive my exes... uh, trying is the key word. And im trying to be positive about the new relationship...which y'all know is like uber difficult for me, being that im so dang pessimistic. So whats the new chapter in the world of juicy trying to find the happy, pink little person inside of the angry red crusty biatch? Im trying to not be the queen of jealousy anymore. Seriously.
I fear ex girlfriends. I fear female friends. I fear waitresses that are a little too chatty and pleasant. I fear possible or potential girls who may give out phone numbers when im not there. I fear girls that live in my building that may share elevators with him. I fear girls on tv, in magazines, on the radio. Even that bitch who does the voice mail on Telus.
Im mental. I know.
I think to uproot this little unhealthy stump in my life, I need to find out who planted it. And, honestly, I cant remember a time that i wasnt like this. It predates Kelly, Chad...Hell, even Jason in High School. But I think it just got worse when i realised that all my boyfriends seem to go back to their exes after dating me. And then to hear from 2 guys that i was dating that we "werent serious" and that they were actually looking for other people while with me just made it worse.
But something I have totally noticed... the more i fall for the boy, the more that it arises in my mind. Like Im looking for a reason to slow myself down and stop things with them.
Hell. I aint gonna solve this right now. But im trying. The new [and improving?!?!] Juicy A will continue...
Anyhoo, so im trying to be all mentally healthy and shite and forgive my exes... uh, trying is the key word. And im trying to be positive about the new relationship...which y'all know is like uber difficult for me, being that im so dang pessimistic. So whats the new chapter in the world of juicy trying to find the happy, pink little person inside of the angry red crusty biatch? Im trying to not be the queen of jealousy anymore. Seriously.
I fear ex girlfriends. I fear female friends. I fear waitresses that are a little too chatty and pleasant. I fear possible or potential girls who may give out phone numbers when im not there. I fear girls that live in my building that may share elevators with him. I fear girls on tv, in magazines, on the radio. Even that bitch who does the voice mail on Telus.
Im mental. I know.
I think to uproot this little unhealthy stump in my life, I need to find out who planted it. And, honestly, I cant remember a time that i wasnt like this. It predates Kelly, Chad...Hell, even Jason in High School. But I think it just got worse when i realised that all my boyfriends seem to go back to their exes after dating me. And then to hear from 2 guys that i was dating that we "werent serious" and that they were actually looking for other people while with me just made it worse.
But something I have totally noticed... the more i fall for the boy, the more that it arises in my mind. Like Im looking for a reason to slow myself down and stop things with them.
Hell. I aint gonna solve this right now. But im trying. The new [and improving?!?!] Juicy A will continue...
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Why am i sad today?
I really dont know why, but im very sad right now. Listening to the sad music [Beatles--Youve Got to Hide Your Love Away/ Barenaked ladies--Call and Answer/ No Doubt-- Simple Kind of Life/ Sheryl Crowe-- Strong Enough], laying on the couch, wearing Jer's hoodie, and trying not to cry.
I do, however, have theories as to why im sad. One, Im really hung over and sometimes my mental state gets a little amplified with said condition... i get a little forlorn about something and all of a sudden im mopey. Two, its cold windy and the sun isnt shining. And, thirdly Im depressed about the fact that Im falling for someone, which i know makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Im scared. Really scared. Petrified even that everything will be built up and go wonderful [as it has been] for a while...then right when im comfortable, happy, and have let myself fall in love...Boom. Ill get abandoned yet again.
I know i cant hide myself away and never date anyone again to avoid being hurt. And id be a fucking idiot if i broke up with Jer for fear that he'd someday dump me. I mean, i keep bouncing back after some really shitty times and some heinous breakups. Its just something i gotta do. And keep doing. [thats the reason for the infinity tattoo on my back BTW] I never thought i would fall in love again after Ian. I had all but decided that i was done. But, I had that lil glimmer of hope that it could happen again. [and thats the reason why i have the red star on my side]
Ive forgiven myself a lot in the past few mths. But i think i need to forgive other people too. Kelly-- for moving on so quickly; Ian-- for not loving me enough to wait for me; Mark-- for abandoning me at a time when i needed him [or anyone] to love me more than anything.
I just dont know if i can.
Anyways, Im feeling a little better right now. Ranting usually does that for me. Then again, the sun is finally shining outside. Mystery solved, i must be sad cuz of the weather.
I do, however, have theories as to why im sad. One, Im really hung over and sometimes my mental state gets a little amplified with said condition... i get a little forlorn about something and all of a sudden im mopey. Two, its cold windy and the sun isnt shining. And, thirdly Im depressed about the fact that Im falling for someone, which i know makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Im scared. Really scared. Petrified even that everything will be built up and go wonderful [as it has been] for a while...then right when im comfortable, happy, and have let myself fall in love...Boom. Ill get abandoned yet again.
I know i cant hide myself away and never date anyone again to avoid being hurt. And id be a fucking idiot if i broke up with Jer for fear that he'd someday dump me. I mean, i keep bouncing back after some really shitty times and some heinous breakups. Its just something i gotta do. And keep doing. [thats the reason for the infinity tattoo on my back BTW] I never thought i would fall in love again after Ian. I had all but decided that i was done. But, I had that lil glimmer of hope that it could happen again. [and thats the reason why i have the red star on my side]
Ive forgiven myself a lot in the past few mths. But i think i need to forgive other people too. Kelly-- for moving on so quickly; Ian-- for not loving me enough to wait for me; Mark-- for abandoning me at a time when i needed him [or anyone] to love me more than anything.
I just dont know if i can.
Anyways, Im feeling a little better right now. Ranting usually does that for me. Then again, the sun is finally shining outside. Mystery solved, i must be sad cuz of the weather.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Status Report: March ' 05
Erm... not that much goin down.
1. No job
2. No money
But....
3. No more loneliness [gots me a cute, funny, horny, sometimes incorrigible boyfriend]
4. No worries really.
So I guess this status report is: things are okay, could be better, but not complainin'.
1. No job
2. No money
But....
3. No more loneliness [gots me a cute, funny, horny, sometimes incorrigible boyfriend]
4. No worries really.
So I guess this status report is: things are okay, could be better, but not complainin'.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
[big sigh]
Sorry... havent been around much to be writing.
Fuck... Im totally into the new boy. And, quite strangely for me, the boy is in to me too. We went to Radium Hot Springs for the day and had waaay too much fun. We got really stoned, ate tons of shit, 'christened' the handicapped washroom at the Park, and basically just did a lot of crazy/silly/goofy things together. And, doubly strange, we discussed and decided to be exclusive. I know. So soon...and so, well, so unlike the guys I normally end up with. There will be no guy tellin me after weve been together 2 mths that we arent serious and that they werent my boyfriend after all...and thats good. Cuz i like this one. A lot. Tons, even.
Yeah.
Fuck... Im totally into the new boy. And, quite strangely for me, the boy is in to me too. We went to Radium Hot Springs for the day and had waaay too much fun. We got really stoned, ate tons of shit, 'christened' the handicapped washroom at the Park, and basically just did a lot of crazy/silly/goofy things together. And, doubly strange, we discussed and decided to be exclusive. I know. So soon...and so, well, so unlike the guys I normally end up with. There will be no guy tellin me after weve been together 2 mths that we arent serious and that they werent my boyfriend after all...and thats good. Cuz i like this one. A lot. Tons, even.
Yeah.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Storytellin'
In case you havent noticed, I like to tell stories. Im friggin filled with them, yo. I like to tell people about all the crazy shite that i do, that Ive seen, and what i plan to do. However, there are some stories that I rarely tell-- I havent even told you guys yet for these stories. Ones that only a few people know.
Which makes it totally odd in the fact that Ive only known the new boy for 6 days... and he knows BOTH of my killer dynamite evil and rarely told tales. So why have i told the new guy? I dunno. Maybe because both came up in conversation and I was able to tell [or maybe 'confess'] to both of them? That im comfortable with him and I feel that i can tell him? Or, maybe the fact that I never told Mila the one story-- and it drove me nutbar. I couldnt bring it up casually, but it was so crucial to my life story, that it needed to be told.
Well, we'll see if me confessing so early works out to my advantage or not. I mean, there are still things he doesnt know, or that anyone knows, but definately are not things that i need to declare to feel better. At the very least, if it doesnt end up being a good idea, it gives me another story to tell.
Which makes it totally odd in the fact that Ive only known the new boy for 6 days... and he knows BOTH of my killer dynamite evil and rarely told tales. So why have i told the new guy? I dunno. Maybe because both came up in conversation and I was able to tell [or maybe 'confess'] to both of them? That im comfortable with him and I feel that i can tell him? Or, maybe the fact that I never told Mila the one story-- and it drove me nutbar. I couldnt bring it up casually, but it was so crucial to my life story, that it needed to be told.
Well, we'll see if me confessing so early works out to my advantage or not. I mean, there are still things he doesnt know, or that anyone knows, but definately are not things that i need to declare to feel better. At the very least, if it doesnt end up being a good idea, it gives me another story to tell.
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