The title refers to the fact that my "desk" consists of this little table i stole from the U of A Residence in 1996 set against my love seat. Today is a day of reflection...a mental health post, if you will.
First, I was reading the last few months of posts and figured i shud change the name of the blog o rama to "the intersection of drinking and fucking"...cuz thats pretty much all i do now. I guess its better than the posts in August which could be called "the intersection of whining and feeling bad for myself".
So whats the real reason ive been bloggin? I mentioned once before its because im bored, which is partially correct. But, mostly, its cuz looking for "good" things to write about when im feeling crappy makes me feel better. And then, i like to reflect on the shitty things later on and think, 'hey, i made it thru that and now im ok'. Like i was pretty down when i was unemployed, failed the bar exams, and got kicked in the face by marco... and now im pretty ok with all of those.
Maybe down the road ill read all the party posts and think "hey, i sure had a lot of fun back then considering things werent that great". And also im thinking of how i was doing at this time last year, and think "i DESERVE to have fun right now".
What happened a year ago? Well, if you are one of the 11 people who know what happened, you prolly understand why im not saying what it is. Lets just say it was something that really fucked me up and i pretty much blame for a lot of my depression and bad behaviour for the last year. And in a week and a half, I like to think that my year of bad luck and general shit will be over.
So right now, the intersection is full of parties and boys...maybe soon it will be full of employment and relationships. And if not, at least ill be able to look at this post and think "well at least im trying to get my shite together". The view from the loveseat is really quite comfy and promising.
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