I forgot to mention-- Les Dick yesterday? He actually had a glass eye. So he was a one eyed dick. Fuck. Hilarious. Me and Jer were giggling about that all last night.
I am supposed to be writing a play right now for Law Day ( its this thing where people get to come to the courthouse and find out what it looks like) and I am responsible (shudder!) for writing a play which involves law, courtroom stuff AND is amusing to kids. Not an easy task.
So I am writing a play about a sexual discrimination case that involves the characters from Pirates of the Carribean.
At least I am supposed to be writing a play about it...instead Im staring at a screen and the 6 pages I have been able to write over the last 4 friggin months and wondering how i can get it all done before tomorrow at noon.
These have been my problems thus far:
1. Law day is the same day i leave for vacation. Whenever i start to type, I think about vacation and then end up on Expedia looking for hotels and surf schools.
2. I keep getting emails that someone has written on my wall and then i spend 45 minutes at Facebook.
3. I just cant get excited about it.
So okay internet-- any suggestions on what to put into this thing?
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9 comments:
The concept sounds like gold! Elizabeth suing Davey Jones for not accepting her soul in exchange for Jack's. Or do it reverse style, and have Jack sue for not getting the preferential treatment women do. The jokes will have to be in the various witnesses' testimonies: the glass-eyed pirate (Les Dick was born to play that part!), Drunk Norrington, and Captain Barbossa for the stereotypical "arrgghhh" moments.
The premise is that Elizabeth dressed as a man and wsa a pirate on Jack's crew-- once he found she was a woman, she was fired immediately for no reason. She is suing for her share of the pirate treasure plus some for pain and suffering. I like the idea of Les Dick being involved...
Don't forget to have the monkey trained to squeeze boobs on command - sexual harassment at its finest. ;)
Your comment makes me think about 'sexual harrassment Panda'
If a panda squeezes another panda's boob, then im a saaad panda.
haha "sexual harrassment...paaanda"
I'm adding u in facebook. Don't be freaked out by this person you might not know ok? It's me!
Well, if that's the premise, then you have to bring Yellowbeard in to testify! Everyone knows that it's bad luck to have a woman on board a ship. Jack HAD to fire her!
Oh man, you could go like four pages with Jack doing the whole
"You thought you could dress like a man, but I knew that you knew that you weren't a man, savvy? So the whole dressing as a man bit only got you what you knew you would get should you get caught, which you were, which was an early termination due to fraudulent employment thanks to your acting like a man, bonny lass. So, I have every right to toss your scurvy hide, (albeit a smooth, nicely smelling scurvy hide luv), off the port side of the Pearl in 20 foot seas becuase you thought you could think that I couldn't think you were dressing the part of a man on my crew, when really you were letting on the whole time that you knew that I thought you weren't a man the whole time! Yo ho. Kindly made your way to the port rail and be gone... And don't look twice toward me rum, ya bonny scalawag..."
Or something like that.
It'll drive the actor who plays Jack Sparrow nuts.
-buzz
...Happy Easter juicy...
I'm going to make my brother add you on facebook somehow ...;)
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