HNT: Workin' Late

Y'know how people joke that TV anchormen and women dont wear pants when they are TV...and you cant see it because of their news desk?

Guess what? Maybe lawyers are the same.

For more people showin' what the good lord gave em...see Osbasso

Acting class 2 (and some other stuff)

My second acting class was yesterday. I AM AN ACTORRRR! [No, not really. I was acting when i typed that. ]

The class is pretty fun...save for a couple of people in the class [there are always one or two] who complains about every friggin thing we do. Like, dude, if you arent happy, then drop out of the class. This isnt a mandatory class you need for some degree. Your mom wont need to provide you with a permission slip. No one cares, now get the fuck out. Oh, and he has mentioned about 6 times that he is a 'believer in Christ'. Ususally mid sentence when he was complaining about something. How does someone bring that up so often in conversation? It would be like if I constantly brought up that i liked eating cheeseburgers. Hello, I would like $40.00 of the premium unleaded and I am an eater of cheeseburgers. Can you please pass me the sugar? I am an eater of cheeseburgers. I guess Im just crabby at him because i was partnered up with him last week and he told me that the 'expressive story from one minute of my life' was dull.

Anyways, the teacher/instructor/coach/iamaneaterofcheeseburgers told us to keep a journal after the class. Which isnt that hard for me cuz I am always writing down my innane and usually uninteresting factoids here on the old blog. So here is how i felt last class: [you dont need to read this-- honestly, its just for me and the class. but you can. wanker.]

- excited that everyone laughed and was entertained by the stuff i did

- We had to go around and say the work 'no' but we were given a body motion that we needed to do while we said it: i was amazed that the form that we used to say the word no really affected the meaning of the word and the content.

- comfortable around the classmates

-At the end of class we played a game sorta like musical chairs, except you had to make eye contact with someone and throw a ball to the person instead of sit down when the music stopped: I was the first one eliminated. I found that i spend more time wondering if people are paying attention to me than actually paying attention to them

Im looking into buying tickets for a dinner and show of a Neil Diamond cover band this weekend. I bet were the only ones there under 50. I think i might buy pearls and opera glasses. Thats pretty cool.

I had a dream that I dyed my hair blonde last night. Maybe I am Power Girl. I am also an eater of cheeseburgers.

25 and older

This co worker of mine just told me Im lucky because i can go to the bars in Calgary that are "25 and Older".

I think i want to cry.

The worst part is that when i picture '25 and older' bars i think of a bunch of pretentious fucks in suits buying $9.00 martinis. Maybe if the 25 and older bars had cookies and pinball Id like them more. Then we'd have reason to keep those meddling kids out of them.

On a somewhat related note [kids = candy = halloween], I had a dream last night that i dressed up as 'Power Girl' for halloween. Awesome. Id need waterballoons for her boobs, though. I think the rest of the dream was about Projest Runway...so Im not sure how she popped in there. Maybe I made the costume or something.

On a totally unrelated note, This is the best Jesus sighting EVER

As a final, obscure note, I think Im addicted to Mentos. Especially the tropical fruit and grape ones. I blame the fact that Ive seen this video 2000 times lately [ but its still funny] That and I really just like chomping on candies.

Oooh! which brings me back to being a kid... and not someone who goes to '25 and older' bars.

There's A Good Reason Some Talent Remains Undiscovered *

Shit, man, I feel like ive been missing in action for the last 2 weeks. I cant believe its almost the end of September. Weird, especially after it felt like August took forever.

So first-- the wedding. The pics are on Flikr, but I mean thats only if you like pictures of people you dont know dressed up fancy and drunk cuz honestly, thats all a wedding really is. This particular wedding was actually 3 days of dressed up intoxication-- a stagette/stag, kareoke party BBQ, then the actual wedding. Our group of friends managed to clear the bar of tequila, baileys, and sake by the first night it was open.

Now for my take on the good people of Winnipeg beach: ever see the movie 'Waiting for Guffman'? Yeah. It was like that. They kept line dancing [ and im pretty sure they made the line dances up themselves too] to every song. Some of the cousins sang a rendition of 'Wind Beneath my Wings' [ with dance steps and acoustic guitar accompanyment]during the wedding ceremony and a majority of the guests were between the ages of 45 to 80. But dont get me wrong, it was a good time.

Yes, I sang kareoke...but i know that i rocked it because the table of Japanese guests [ the bride is japanese] were standing and cheering while i was singing. And some old ladies started an unofficial fan club or something. Maybe it was because 'Take a Chance on Me' by ABBA is universally appealing...maybe its because of my stage presence.

Last work week was pretty short-- Tuesday to Friday-- and on Friday I had to go to Edmonton for discoveries. Going to Edmonton is always a little weird. I miss that place so much, yet i say i could never move back....but then i go there and it still feels like home. ( And the fact that my Oilers won on Thurs against the Flames probably helped. ) Its also good to see my nephews.

Jer didnt come with me because of work...and I missed that guy. We went for a dinner and a movie date last night. I wanted to see Jackass 2...he wanted to see All the Kings Men...which kinda surprised me cuz hes not too big on political dramas. As we were leaving the theatre, he says to me:

I thought this was the movie with Robert DeNeiro in it.

What?

And Di Caprio.

No-- thats The "something". It comes out next week.

Why didnt you tell me that before we saw it?

So, no, he didnt want to see a movie about political corruption in the 1950s-- he just thought it was the shot em up mobster movie with Deneiro. Fair enough.

I have my second acting class tomorrow. Did I tell you that i was taking one? Well I am. Maybe Ill be discovered.


(* thats the tagline for Waiting for Guffman...it seems to work for this post)

Post #500

Let's Celebrate!


















(Guess what my #1 hobby is? )

Semi-normal posting to resume once i return from E-town this weekend....

4 Days in the 'Peg

Much drinking. Much dancing. Much stupidity. I will post and put some pics up on Flikr soon, but right now im stuck doing much work.

say what say what?

so im typin this without looking at my fingers and apparently i am an ok typer/ typist? baaah i dunno

someone stole mmy purse tonite: i had a camera, my fone, and my wallet avec my ID and money innit. my purse reappeared 30 min later with alll but 80 dollars intact. it waas durinmg j-fry's show. good show BTW

jerks who stole my cash money. grr

wedding this wknd. no work for 2 says wahoo.

wordword

shake it donnt break it

HNT: Im bringin' Sexy Back!

So the first time I heard that Justin Timberlake's new single was called 'Sexy Back" ( waaay before i actually heard the song )THIS is what i thought he meant.

No seriously. I was all " why would he write a song about thinking someone's back is sexy?" Kinda weird if ya think about it, but there are a lot of weirder fetishes out there i think.

Go rock out with your you-know-what out with Os here!

Today Sucks.

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nataliedee.com

...plus, I just heard Brtiney Spears popped out another greasy Federline baby

Say no to crack

I think my friend Sonja is on the same wavelength as me, only a few days after i decided to google 'fat man on a motorcycle' she emailed me this:


Awesome.

I had one of those moments this weekend where i was super drunk and thought that everyone else was drunk, too. In retrospect, I dont think they were and were just laughing at me and my hijinks. Im not sure why, but I thought it was a good idea to drink while waching a "True Hollywood Story" about Lisa Marie Presley. By the time we all went for dinner, I had consumed quite a bit of vodka. I vaguely recall writing my blog address on the stall in the washroom of this shady punk/goth bar. Thats pretty sad. I also was pretty sure i audio blogged-- which means that i may had dialed the wrong number and left a sprawling message on someone in San Francisco's voice mail about dancing, drinking, and quite possibly with me singing, too.

Im going to a wedding this weekend. In Winnipeg. Ive never been to Winnipeg so I dont know if its a good thing or not. I am looking forward to taking 2 days off, though. I also like flying so that should be cool too. I bought a brown dress to wear. Awesome

In the weird dream department, after watching a Miami Ink marathon on TLC yesterday and 3 episodes of Six Feet Under, I dreamt I was trying to get pregnant, except that my career as a tattoo artist was making it difficult for me to conceive, based on all the chemicals i used. [ No, Im not trying to get pregnant, BTW, so dont ask]

Jackass 2 comes out in 11 days. Im so excited I could pee. In a snowcone. And then eat it.

Fun with google

For some reason i decided to google 'fat guy on a motorcycle'. I dont know why. But here is the result:



2 more hours til hometime.

COCKROACH VS. WEATHERMAN

mindless amusement for your enjoyment...

Good to be a dick

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nataliedee.com

Still a chance to get a CD if you want one-- full of bum wigglin fun. Sorry, Itchy, there's no Hollaback Girl on it cuz, as everyone knows, thats the song that will play at my funeral and this CD is all about fun, not death. And Danger. Its about danger too. [But there IS a cool Hall and Oates track on it!]

Yesterday when I was driving home from work I saw something really weird-- and sadly, it wasnt on the news to explain it. On a fairly major road last night, at about 530 pm, I witnessed an older gentleman, wearing what looked like his housecoat and jammies, being chased by 3 police officers down the street. The cop cars were parked on the lawn of a house where an equally older lady was sitting, wearing a fancy velvet type dress and crying. It was so weeeird that i was honestly looking for the cameras thinking it was for a movie or TV-- cuz it just seemed too odd to be real. I wonder if they ever caught pajama man. Or why velvet lady was crying.

They have been playing the last season of the Sopranos everynight at 10 pm this last week. I think it is directly responsible for why i keep dreaming of doing drugs and shooting people. I hope.

So heres a new conspiracy theory-- about my gym. Ive talked about my gym before-- its filled with a lot of ken and barbie types and muscle heads. I have recently also been playing "spot the eating disorder" with some people [ I blame it on my watching of Starved...huh. who knew HBO shows would have such an effect on me] Anyways-- its a big gym chain filled with vain peple: now to my theory. Its about the scale in the women's washroom. I think its set to be 5 pounds heavier, at the beginning of the week, but then slowly goes down over the rest of the week. And heres why-- people go there. Start working out, go check their weight and GASP! I weight THAT much? I need to keep coming here to lose more weight. Two days later: Oh wow! Im down 3 pounds! Friday: Great! Im feeling thin and fine... then Monday: BLAM! Fuck! Im back to being fat! I better keep coming. Yeah. Thats right. Im onto you gym. I know I didnt weigh that much on Monday! I dont think its possible to fluxuate 5 pounds in 2 days.

This is the post where I tell you more about myself, but you know more about me than I would usually divulge

Thats what Ridley called this. Others just referred to it as 8 things i havent told you yet. Me, I think its a step between my normal blogging fare...and what I'd send into Postsecret [ and yes, I have sent 2 into them]. Enjoy.

1. It takes me approx. 40- 45 minutes to fall asleep every night. I wake up approx. 30 minutes before Jer does and lie there awake. I usually spend this time freaking out about work, planning what I will wear the next day, or wondering what i will blog about.

2. I have had 5 things happen in my life that i would consider a 'crisis' which have somehow changed me. Two are about death, one is a break up, one an operation, and the last one is an accident.

3. I think my parents' house is haunted. For a while, I just thought I was losing it...but then once while i was pretty sure that "something" was in my room, my dog, Saki, came running downstairs and began barking at that spot in my room. And Saki never barked except in his sleep. After that, I decided to just not tell anyone about whenever i thought the "something" was around. My secret (and Saki's I guess).

4. I really do think about running away...and i have done so in the past. However, I think in the past i ran away not because i was stressed, but because i was bored.

5. I hope I never have to explain my conduct during my 20s to my children. I mean its funny now...but how does one explain the need to snort cocaine and sleep with multitudes of men whose name you cant remember? Hey kids! Dont do drugs. Or sleep around. Or drink heavily and wake up in beds with more than one guy and a couple girls. And dont read my blog either, okay?

6. My feet are hairy. I get pissed off when people comment about them. Deal with it.

7. The first boy I kissed was named Tyler Romanuk. I really didnt like him that much- he was short- I liked his friend, Dean, but Dean was 'dating' Jayme Foster. I was in grade 2 at the time.

8. I believe that my unnatural affection for KFC spawns from the fact that when I was a kid, if I was good, they told me I would get chicken-- but if not, we had to have meatloaf or liver instead. And while other kids got money for passing their classes, I was promised chicken.

Thats it thats all. I wont tag anyone, but feel free to do it if ya like

I dreamt last night i was a heroin junky

Seriously. And I went to rehab and i kept thinking 'hey this isnt so bad', but then someone told me that i was still high and thats why i felt okay. The best part was that rehab was like summer camp-- canoeing, campfire songs, there were even sticker books. Sigh. I wish I could go to rehab.

I know its not August anymore, but I still have lotsa funny things to show on my blog. Like for example, I read this this morning and couldnt stop giggling. Silly ice cream loving hedgehogs.

I didnt mean to be rude yesterday about the CD exchange. I can make copies for anyone who wants one. I listened to it this morning and it ruled. Yeah, most people will be like 'dang, this is a really shitty CD' and 'this is not imaginative nor exciting at all' but, well, fuggoff. I never said it would be. Im not a music snob... i wont hate you because you like music on the radio [ although i may mock you mercilessly about it]. I think the most recent song on the CD is from 2001. Cuz everyone knows they havent made anything good music wise since then. [kidding, of course] Honestly. If you want a copy, just email me yer addy. Ill do it up, motherfuckers.

Looking through my pictures on my computer I realised that I would prolly actually like pictures of myself if someone else took them. That being said, I would likely need to hire someone to follow me around all day to do it, because whenever the moment of 'this would be a funny picture' hits me, there is no one there to take it. Like there was this episode of a show once [for some reason im thinking Ally McBeal?!?!] where Mariah Carey was this chick who hired someone to follow her around with spotlights so she always looked good. Yeah. I need that, but with pictures. All my self portraits make me look like i have a fat neck or something. Mariah's got the right idea.

I have decided that the next post will be profound, rather than just mindless babble. Sorry 'bout all this. Email me for a CD, mkay?

Secrets of a long or short life.

Fuck, I sure have had trouble doing the daily updates lately. Stupid work. If it didnt pay my bills and give me something to do every day between the hours of 830 and 500, why id just up and quit this motherfucker. But i wont.

So we had a long weekend. It was good. I went to Edmonton to see the nephews, went on the outdoor waterslides in Winterburn [Note to Edmontonians Ridley and Serfx-- you fuckin gotta go to the outdoor waterslides. Good times man. Real good. I thought that place wasnt open, but it is, and no one knows that its open so its totally empty. Never any line ups and a friggin good time.], and then watched a good ole CFL football game live on Monday. Like I said, good friggin times.

Im super sassy today. Must be the rejeuvenation from an extra day of sleeping in or something.

Im still crafting the awesomeness that is the CD exchange. If you are in on it, whoa dude its going to rock.

I heard that the Crocodile Hunter died last night on the news. Its kinda sad...but honestly, didnt we all kinda expect this? I mean the dude purposely puts his life in danger with scary animals all the time. It woulda been sad [as in pathetic] if he died in his sleep or from a heart attack. Still though, I did get a kick out of the guy and its too bad that hes dead.

Okay so I heard something really fuckin weird on the radio this morning. Apparently the oldest woman in the world died yesterday. Her secret to long life? -- drinking donkey milk. Ummmm. Am I the only one who thinks this sounds pretty sick? I keep trying to imagine what this will taste like, but all i can think about is how bad donkey poop smells. And then i try to picture milking a donkey-- and it doesnt look like a good idea. I guess what im saying is that drinking donkey milk guarantees living to 116 years, then im okay not making it that long.

So today you learned that drinking donkey milk is good for you..but weird...and that playing with stingrays and crocodiles is bad for you...and stupid. I wish those waterslides were closer.