Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Idle bitching from the queen of idle bitching and her tiny minions of doooom

( thats what i told my assistant i would name an advice column in the paper if i had one-- that or 'seriously, i dont give a fuck'. Of course she meant if people wrote me about family law matters-- but i still think thats what Id call it)

So remember how i was talking last week about the blue moon and people acting all crazy and shit? I just realised 3 events which happened late last week where me or someone I know went fucking nuts on someone.

First, I just about killed some lady last week. Yeah... right there in the Safeway. With the souless eyes of Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, and whoever was on the cover of Ladies Home Journal from the magazine rack looking on. It was five minutes to the end of the noon hour. It was the '15 items or less' aisle. It was dang busy. And this stupid cunt was talking on her cell phone at the front of the line totally oblivious to all the people and the cashier around her. The cashier asked her 3 times for her money and was getting frustrated. I was about 3 or 4 people back in line and yelled 'Hey! Get off your fucking phone and pay attention!' Loud. Like dead silence in the whole store while everyone turns and stares at me. Well, she did get the point.

Secondly, Jeremy has to meet with his supervisors tomorrow because he went a little crazy on someone with psychotic dogs and threw their mail in the yard instead of walking it up to their door. When the home owner started yelling at him, he kinda beaked her off...told her where she could stick her mail and the like...so she grabbed a video camera and started following him and recording him...thats when he made some comments about how he was surprised she could figure out the camera because she was so stupid. Yeah. Hopefully he doesnt get suspended.

Finally, my last crazy angry person experience last week was a little more personal-- in fact, i was the recipient of someone who was super angry and wanted to kill me. Literally. Last Friday a client's ex (who has drug, weapons, and assault charges against him) kept calling the office and just asking if i was here. Not that he wanted to speak to me...not that he wanted to have me call him back...just if i was here. He kept calling, demand to know if i was here, and then hang up. I knew who it was immediately because the dude's lawyer had called me a few times that day saying his client had lost his mind and if I didnt give the settlement he wanted...he would get 'mad'. Crazy dude also started calling and hanging up on my client too-- despite the fact that she has a restraining order, police no contact order, and peace bond against him.

Anyways-- the purpose of this post is just to confirm that blue moon = baaad news. So if your assistant's witch friend tells you that ones coming up, hide. Dont go to work, dont answer the phone, dont go to the store...dont even pick up the mail.

The end.

2 comments:

twg said...

//the dude's lawyer had called me a few times that day saying his client had lost his mind and if I didnt give the settlement he wanted...he would get 'mad'.//

That seems a little unprofessional. Or com-fucking-pletely so.

JuicyA said...

yah-- the other lawyer and i actually have a pretty good relationship-- and we both agree that his client is a friggin nutbar and we both cant wait for the files to close. He only has to keep the dude as his client cuz his partner is a friend of the guy.