...the history of the world: part I

Boys boys boys
My biggest weakness and addiction. Seriously. So heres the dummies version of my love life [becuz i remember my english prof in high school telling us that every story needs and introduction... and this is the introduction to what goes on in my life daily]

So, I wont say here what my "magic number" is...but yes, it is fairly high. Instead, this chapter of the book will be about the times i have fallen in love [insert violin music here]

1. Chad. [ex-oh-ex-oh heart heart]
Was my friend Bob's roomate when he was in college...i went to visit Bob and his GF and met chaddie and fell in love [in only the way you can fall in love when you are 19] But, in a theme to be seen again and again, we lived in different cities and it was hard to stick together. Had great sex with him in the back of my 1986 Hyundai pony. Breaking up with him put me into a huge drinking binge [note: another theme] and also caused me to visit a bar in Edmonton called the Rev about 5 days a week. About 10 days after breaking up with Pookie i met....

2. Kelly [later known as Puppy, even later than that referred to as "AssFace", now colloquially "Super-Ex" ]
We were together 4 and a half years. Phew. Thats damn ass long when you are in your mid twenties. There, obviously are a lot of stories involving me and the super-ex, but i guess all i can say is that things were great when i wanted to marry him, and he didnt want to marry me...and then became really shit when he wanted to marry me and i wanted nothing to do with that. Pretty hardcore. I guess, looking back, we had some amazing fun...but im really stuck, even 4 years later, on the bad stuff: he wasnt affectionate, he never told me that he loved me, and our sex life was a phreaking train wreck. He's married now. Weird. Broke up when i moved to saskatoon, went into bender after breakup.

3. Ian. [and i still get shudders when i type his name]
Spent the summer in van to work...really i spent the summer with IFW. We were inseperable. Morning, evening, night, weekend, weekdays...yah, you get the picture. All we did was drink, do drugs, and fuck. Had crazy ass sex [yeah, read that how you want] became a total freaky chick and got into BDSM, fisting, hardcore anal....uh, thats enough for here. But it was goood. Mostly, I loved this guy. After Kel, he was so loving, affectionate, and totally wanted me to be with him all the time. I felt like i was special and beautiful. We even discussed eloping. When i went back to saskatoon, he couldnt handle it...we broke up like 12 days after i left. I lost it. Drank like a wino and slept around for over a year. Got a big tattoo. Went to Europe the following summer to try to forget him. Still dunno how id be if i saw him tomorrow.

4.Mark
Dumbass. Fucker. Asshole. Hey, guess what? Im still a little sore about this one. He was great, and yeah, i guess i loved him. Or at least who i thought he was. We worked together and the first month we were incognito. He seemed like the perfect mix between Ian and Kelly: grounded but fun, and, yeah, I got him into the kinky stuff. He left at the end of the summer to go back to school. We saw each other one more time after that and something troublesome happened. And he ran. And I never will forgive him. The bender never stopped post-Ian, and it continued after Dumbass.

Now... there is the Boy. He's dealing with a lot of emotional wreckage caused by the above assholes. I worry daily that hes going to be just another one...and i worry even more that hes prolly everything i need and want and im not going to give him the chance he deserves and lose him in the process....

yah, thats drama for another time and another day...