The Bachelorette: X Rated

Had a date on Monday. It was usual date fare: I ate sushi, talked a lot, got wasted, and then had a heavy make out session. I think Id consider a date a failure if we didnt...which is prolly why i shoulda run from Marco at the outset. [ We didnt kiss for about 5 dates...sex took 3 weeks!!!]

Basically, it made me realise that im prolly ready to serial date again. You know, when I date 3 or 4 guys at once and eventually pick one [and, might i add, usually the wrong one].

Last night i had a foray into the sordid world of reality TV, I watched the Bachelor...and thought, hey! this might be a good idea. Of course, I couldnt handle a bunch of dapper dudes in tuxedos, I rather would hand pick my suitors [ suitors..like im friggin Scarlett O Hara here]:

1. Dave Mirra [duh]
2. Zak Braff
3. Scott Weiland
4. Jimmy Fallon
5-11. Johnny Knoxville, Chris Pontius, Dave England, Ehren McGheney, Steve-O, hell, even Jason Acuna... all of Jackass fame.
12. Both the guys from Y Tu Mama Tambien. Mmmmm. Mexican.
14. Don McKellar [yummy]
15. Ewen McGregor
16. Ian. Yeah, I know I know. But i think he'd have a lot of fun in this house.
17. The guys from Sum 41. Piss off Avril Lavigne, I want a shot at Dizzy D,too. Although i think Steve 32 would be the one id pick...maybe the whole looking like Ian thing...

Wow. I still have soo many left. Not that it matters. I think Id pick number 1 on the list. And just have a lot of fun with the other 29. Actually, I think this show wouldnt make it on the networks. Too much nudity, drinking, and drug taking. It would be like a big orgy 24-7. Hmmm. Maybe i should suggest this to the playboy channel.

Whats funny is that i never thought i had crushes on celebrities...except Miracle Boy, of course. And i filled up the list pretty darn quickly. Wow. Im a hornball.