Crap.

Hmmm. Yknow how whenever something good happens to me and i think that maybe things will turn up for a change? And then i realise that no, something crappy will start to happen? Yeah. Its starting.

I think that IB got some serious issues. He told me a few times that it wont really affect me [and he still talks about "us" in the future, and is as smootchie and lovey as before] but also stated that he maybe "wasnt ready" for me and was "sorry he brought me into this".

I know its more likely the fact that his life isnt as good as it was before rather than pining for his ex. I think its the nostalgia of what he was living before as compared to now... although he has said that im definately a high point in his life.

I dont know what to do. How many guys do i have to nurse back to relationship health? I did it for Kelly, Ian, and Mark. It worked for Kel [maybe too well], left Ian pretty much in the same place i found him in when i left, and did nothing to Mark and made him return to what i was trying to save him from. When i say "save" i mean i act all understanding and sweet, dont judge when they bark out about things i never did, make them feel better about being with someone. Im tired of saving people.

Yesterday, before he asked if he could come over, I decided that i was going to walk. Hes wonderful and amazing... but i dont know if i can put myself back in the hole for someone. And whenever i break up with someone i say ill never go thru all this again.

Guess ill wait it out, like i always do. The crap just keeps coming back.