Im a scientist.

Actually, I'm not. Far from it. Science is actually one of my mortal enemies [along with the little orange and white kitty cat that lives across the street... but thats another story all together.] Anyways, where was i? Right. My experiment. And the data and observations i make in here are not to be construed as sexist, racist, or bigotted... they are just my personal observations. Lighten up, already people. I love everyone... except old white right wing protestant males that vote for the Conservative/Reform/ Nazi party in Canada [hee hee kidding...or am i?]

The Experiment: Do people like my hair better curly or straight? [what? you think i was looking for a cure for cancer? Gawd. Have you SEEN what i normally write on here? Did you read the poo post?]

The subjects: My friends, co-workers, people generally around who have some sort of opinion that i actually care about.

Materials: Me, humidity and the constant rain here in Calgary the past two weeks, my hair straightener. The unsolicited opinions of people in the last few weeks where i have refused to straighten my hair with all this rain.

Results: [ and im trying to remember how you are supposed to write out a science experiment... grade 9 was a really really long time ago..]

1. For the most part, females like it curly. Males, like it straight.

2. The only exceptions to the rule appears to be for asians and jews. [ now do you see why i put the disclaimer above? relax. some of my best friends are asian and refer to me as the token white girl, and are concerned that i can collectively drink them under the table. and my beloved and half the people i work with are the chosen people-- being a shiksa rocks!] Anyways, Im serious. My chinese friends are jealous that my hair is curly and think its a shame and almost an insult to those with naturally straight hair to flatten it. I think Jer likes it curly cuz then i dont look like a goy.

3. My female friends that are Greek and Italian feel my pain, and understand my daily battle to straighten and civilize my large and in charge hair. I think we should start a support group.

4. Gay friends have told me that both look "fabulous". [but they say that about most everything...although i gotta admit i love the way gay men always swoon at how great my ass looks...]

Conclusion: So thats that. Being the uber pessimist that i am, i look at it as ' i cant win either way' instead of ' i look great both ways'. Get used to it. I dont have the ability to post pictures on my blog here at work, so i cant really get the opinion of the interweb. Oh wait....none of these are that great [will that ruin the variables in the experiment? does it really matter?] but here are some pics i already had up. ED NOTE: These may not work... they look really small on my computer.

http://juicyhumps.blogspot.com/2004/09/san-pedro-belize-post-rum-drinking.html shows me with curly hair and bar dancing in belize....stupid rum drinking contest.

http://juicya.blogspot.com/2005/02/i-got-really-stoned-tonight.html shows it straight....and me kissing one of my many bongs. his name is grimace.

http://juicyhumps.blogspot.com/2004/10/calgary-halloween-and-bridesmaids.html is the spoiler: its crimped and im dressed as a bridesmaid from the 80s.

Science marches on!