Friday, June 10, 2005

Not necessarily about a song by Meatloaf

I havent had a serious post in some time. Lets try one out.

I useda take active part in this website called Club Vibes... thought it was going to be about the club scene in Calgary. Really, its a bunch of inside jokes from kids who dont actually seem to know each other, but feel free to exclude newbies from the conversation, each with a more "clever" name, tagline, and avatar than the last....however, i digress...

So one day, they had a topic called 'I'd do anything for love...but i wont do that". First, it got that goddamned Meatloaf song in my head for the better part of a week [and i prolly just did it to you...sorry.] At first the posts were people saying what sexual things they wouldnt do [eeew! fisting! gross! (insert emoticon of someone puking)] but then the convo turned into 'things' that would keep you from dating someone. ie.) they dated your sister; they had facial hair; they didnt satisfy in the sack....

I guess this kinda ties into the postsecret post, but what if something i did was on someone i wanted to be with's list of non-negotiables? What if i was already dating the person when they found out? What if it was 90% of the way to love/marriage/children/picket fence/dog and it suddenly came to light?

I never did add a post to the ClubVibes convo...because i had difficulties thinking of things that i wouldnt permit. I do have a list of things that i look for when picking boyfriends [And these are things which i will try to get out of a person in the first 15 minutes of a date. I useda be a litigator... im very good on cross-examination. ]:

1. No cats. [im not a cat-person.]
2. Knows their way around a comic book store/Star Wars movie/ epidsode of Star Trek TNG [i like geeks, what can i say?]
3. Isnt opposed to drinking/drugs [Ive dated sober people. it sucked.]
4. Had a somewhat 'happy' childhood [ie. doesnt look back on it with too much scorn]
5. Has a goofy/immature side which makes them like video games, slurpees, and sees the humor in poo poo jokes.
6. Naturally, likes to hump.

But is there anything i wouldnt accept? [other than the obvious no sexual assault/murder/hand gun charges] Lets see
1. owns a cat [see above]
2. has horrible right wing fundamentalist politics-- no abortion, gay marriage, social safety net...but we should bring back the death penalty.
3. when i useda internet date [see posts from Nov to Feb for evidence], i wouldnt date guys with an ad in the "intimate encounters" area...basically these are creeps who just want to show up at your house and fuck and leave. Think prostitution-- without the payment at the end.
4. fucks strippers or whores.

Now, though, what do i do if i find one of those things on the list in someone im with? Are they really non-negotiable? Does it matter that it happened a long time ago, and they've changed? Then again, fuck, id never forgive myself if i dated someone who useda have a cat... oh wait, i forgot the most important one...

5. likes Meatloaf and his musical career.

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