Seriously. I need to hit the gym or something.

Fuck. The updates. Why is it so hard for me to post lately? I really dont know and, therefore, shall not attempt to give you an answer.

I spent the long weekend being an absolute slob. There were days that i didnt leave the house and wore sweatpants. Im so slovenly lately Im afraid Im turning into my dog. Seriously. And that guy knows a lot about hanging around and doing nothing. Even when i was unemployed i made a point of leaving my place at least once a day... Sheesh. Im embarrassed just typing this.

On a somewhat (but not really) similar note, I had quite the wardrobe malfunction today at the Courthouse. No, I didnt nip slip a judge again, instead I split the seam of my pants like a fat person. Luckily, it was in the courthouse library and no one was around. I dropped my copycard and had to climb over the copier and RRRRIIIPP. The saddest music in the world.

I had to go across the street and buy a new pair of pants. And now because I was feeling fat and unnattractive ( and yes, the new pants are fairly stretchy so it wont happen again), I had to do what all women do when they feel sad. I bought shoes.

Somewhere, a man just rolled his eyes.

I didnt just buy shoes-- I bought 2 pairs of expensive shoes. One pair is sensible, but saucy, and are something I can wear to court. The other pair is ridiculous, very high heeled, and black patent leather. Guess which pair im wearing now with my stretchy, fat person, I-cant-believe-I-split-my-other-pants, pants? Hells yeah.