Chuck Norris, Fat people and poop

When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into the backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

So I survived turkey day and the merriment which surrounded it. I bought the lazy person turkey-- pre stuffed, pre prepped, throw it in the oven still frozen, seven hours later... turkey perfection. The pie was also super good. I still think i should quit my day job and just make pies for a living. Good times. Good times.

I almost didnt survive dinner last night, though. Jer and I went to a chinese restaurant with an 'all you can eat' Hot Pot. To some people its a meal, to us its an experience. We havent learned from past meals where we over order and then literally get run out of the place. Even though we had noooo idea of the serving sizes, we ordered 2-4 servings of each meat and veggie. Sadly, each serving was 4 pieces. We ate so much i literally thought i was about to die. Then this morning I had possibly the worst gas and indigestion ever. (Why am I telling you this? Because its my fuckin blog and I think this type of shit is plain funny. )


Anyways Im buying him this from TLC: The all-you-can-eat buffet is not a
challenge.

I decided this morning, which was cold and dreary, that i am buying a remote car starter today. Fuck this shit. Im not going out and warming my car every morning like a chump. Thats what robots are for.

I have no motivation today. I just feel like ranting and pooping.