How to spend the weekend feeling really attractive

Man oh man, I was the hottest person around this weekend. No, Im not being egotistical. Honestly I was. Ya see when you spend the weekend at the track, casino, and at a Comic Book and Sci-Fi Convention... its not a very high standard.

First: the track to watch the Kentucky Derby simulcast. Know how I mentioned that I do really well at the track and usually bring home some mad cash from playing the ponies? Yep. Its true. Last year it was Afleet Alex...two years ago Smarty Jones...this year I made my usual bet on a little undefeated colt named Barbero...and, yes, the sweet baby brought it home to mama. I won $426. Fuck. I almost puked i was so excited. The track rules.

Still though, one of the best parts of going to the track is observing the hobos and weird lookin people making their bets. [Id say its like a weirdo convention...but you will soon read that that was on Sunday.] Every time Jer left my side, I had some weird dude attempt to make small talk with me...or offer me betting tips [man of man was that toothless dude excited when he found out we like the same horse for the Derby]..or ask if I was riding any of the horses [WTF?]



Im holding 420 of the 426 --yes i know, Canadian money comes in funny colours--and pointing to Barbero in the program. Im also a little drunk.

Sunday, Jer and I went to the Comic Con. [does anyone remember Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con! Be there and be square! from the Simpsons? Yeah. Totally. There was a dude who even looked like Comic Book Store Guy there] As soon as I saw the first people playing with wooden samarai swords, I lost it. But when I saw the people dressed up...man oh man! I lost it.



He actually grabbed my ass.



Sandpeople!

But after i asked to take pictures with them, some of the dressed up guy [including the horny Stormtrooper] asked their friends to take pictures of them with me. Im sure somewhere a dude is posting the above picture and writing "Chicks dig Stormtroopers" under it.

After the fun and frivolity of Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con, we went to the casino. We didnt stay long cuz none of the asian senior citizens there looked like they were going to give their spot at the blackjack table any time soon.

Oh yeah, and I bought some awesome shoes with my winnings.