Im in a better mood now-- thanks to an adjournment and a Hotdog and Slurpee combo from 7-11. So now I feel like writing about my weekend.
Ever been in a conversation and you wish that you could close your eyes and dissappear? And the other person would be mid sentence and be like "oh where did Juicy go". I had one of those yesterday.
Jer's Mom: I want to talk to you about planning your wedding
Juicy: Whaaaa?
JM: I want to be a part of your wedding and hope that you will allow me that
Juicy: No. seriously. Whaaa? There isnt any wedding...at least for quite some time....waaaay down the road...
JM: How far down the road?
Juicy: Many kilometres. Many Many kilometres
JM: Well you both are getting to that age and....
Juicy: Well, there is nothing planned right now and...I dont..I mean we havent...awww fuck...
JM: Where did Juicy go? She was right here?!
Did I mention that Jer was standing next to me during this exchange and said nothing? Yeah. I guess this is the result of the faux wedding picture we took when we were in the Dominican. I still maintain that its a funny joke.
I finally watched WifeSwap and I can understand why all of you are so worked up by that show. There are some fucked people out there. And yes, I saw the episode with the sideshow people and the rich bitch and her gino hubby. [guess who i related to the best...] I still think Im more addicted to those Nanny 911 and Super nanny shows. I dont know why. [I cant believe i just admitted that i watch those shows...well i do. Daily. Get on that motherfucking naughty mat, bitch.]
I also saw some "Sweet 16" show on MTV2 yesterday and realised that there is a reason why there are so many fucked adults in the world-- they started as fucked teens whose parents indulged them in all of their stupid shit. Seriously, do you need to rent a nightclub for your spoiled daughter's party? Does she absolutely need a helicopter to lower her into the party? And this was for Skee-Lo's daughter...remember him? He had a song out in 1995? I wish i was little bit taller...i will i was a baller... Anyways, I cant imagine my parents spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a 16th bday on me. And I dont think Id want it. If I remember correctly for my 16th I got my license, bought a car, and tried to stay the hell away from them.
Have you ever seen a "aqua massager" at like a flea market or trade show? If you do, try it. They rule. Its like this big coffin where you lay down and this pulsating water goes up and down your back...except there is a layer of plastic between you and the water so you dont get wet. Anyways. Its good. And every slack jawed yokel and hillbilly in the place [which at the Calgary Flea Market, is quite a lot] will come over and gawk. Its pretty good. Whoa! Lookit all that a water!
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5 comments:
Ah, Wife Swap.... the best show in history. Welcome to the team...
I used to be hooked on all that reality crap TV: Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, The Bachelor, Paradise Hotel or whatever it was called. Now I'm back on scripted shows, and not looking back. But there was definitely a train-wreck entertainment value to them.
The MTV shows are unforgiveable. Absolutely unredeemable.
Oh god...wedding conversations are forms of my nightmares sometimes
The nanny shows... I can't. I flipped on one last night by accident and there was that horrible child scream... makes me shudder as a non-parent.
I hate to admit this...but it's not like it's a secret...but I'm totally hooked on that damn Wife Swap. Hubby kept trying to talk to me during it and I got pissed! PISSED! I'm terrible...poor guy.
And wait til you are married and then you father in law says "so when are you gonna get busy and give me another grandchild?" which I answer with a dropped mouth because my own parents don't ask me such questions. I've thought of ways to answer that I would never actually say outloud like "Well the way he likes to do it will never produce a baby" or something like that... :P
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