Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Vote for TurdSandwich

Jer and I have recently changed our MSN names to TurdSandwich and Giant Douche. This makes me laugh uncontrollably. Must be the shortage of carbs or something. The lack of the doughy and the starchy and the delicious is making me simple. And hungry.

Today is going very very very slowly. I feel like Ive been here for weeks without a rest.... but really its just 3pm and Im not busy. I think Im going to start drawing pictures to pass the time.

I tried surfing with blogexplosion to kill a bit more of the day, but I kept getting linked to all these right wing and christian blogs. And Mommy blogs. Jesus. I really dont care what your 2 year old ate for dinner last night or how precious your son looked when he was sleeping. And then i have to sit and wait there for 17 seconds until I can click for the next link...only to be face to face with another fucking mommy blog. I think Im going to start my own blog surfing company that only people who drink, have sex with strangers, take their clothes off on the internet, or have horrible day jobs and need to read blogs about that kinda stuff to keep them sane, can apply for. I would write a letter to rejected blogs as follows:

Dear "MommyofTwo":

Your blog "Mommy's darling days" has been rejected from 'Juicy's Kickass Blogs' list for the following reasons:

- It is not Kickass
- It is not interesting to me.
- I dont care that it could be interesting to others
- A scan of your blog notes that you do not swear often or at all. This is fucking mandatory fuck face.
- I think you fucking suck balls
- If you actually did suck balls and then blogged about it, I would be interested and you might get added
- If you sucked balls, got paid for it to support your massive coke habit, and then blogged about it, I would recommend you for 'blog of the month'

Sincerely
Juicy A, Turd Sandwich

Fucking Fuck of a Fucker who fucking likes to say fuck and
Owner, Operator of Juicy's Kickass Blogs


Of course, I would have to know how to set something like that up. So maybe Ill just send the letters to random mommy bloggers and see how they respond.

Speaking of setting things up, does anyone know how to change my top banner like thingy? I think i need to change my blog up, but have no fucking idea how to do it. You'd be the blog of the month if you did-- and you wouldnt even need to blog about your coke whoring ways...

6 comments:

Itchy said...

I want to add you as my MSN friend. I would love to have a conversation with Turd Sandwich! Just seeing whether or not Turd Sandwich is online. Seeing that Turd Sandwich is typing. I would love everything about that....

Turd Sandwich! YAY!

Cindy said...

Do you have a banner graphic that you want? You should hold a design-me-a-banner contest.

I might be able to help with the template editing. I'm not sure if I remember, Maine had to help me install mine.

Itchy said...

Oh yeah...I may be able to help with your banner thingy. I did mine. But I can make no promises!

Unknown said...

You're a turd sandwich!
No YOU're a turd sandwich!
No, no..you're actually a turd sandwich.

JuicyA said...

haha you all crack me up! And Ridley, YOU are a turd sandwich....

JeannieGrrl said...

AHHH! Oh Gods! I would apply for that in an instant!!!