Juicy A: Greyhound Smuggler and Threat to Homeland Security

So on Friday afternoon I decided that I was going to help our greyhound organization with the pickup of 20 new dogs from Great Falls, Montana. ( All the dogs are from Wisconsin.... hooray for Cheeseheads!) Dang. It was the longest 12 hours of my life!

So we started out at 630 am. I was driving with this dude I had never met before.... it took about 3 hours for the awkward small talk to be replaced with actual conversation. But he was a really nice dude and all.

Anyway, so there were 3 vans in a type of convoy trying to get to the 'states. The first van goes thru the border guard and it was no problem. We pull up and the dude at the window apparently doesnt like the looks of us or something....and tells us to pull over and come in. The first thing that goes thru my mind: Holy fuck! I never checked my purse to make sure that Im not carrying any weed or a pipe or anything. ( Mental note: Check this BEFORE you are being pulled over by the border guards...maybe ever before you actually leave your house in the future) The second thing thru my mind: I have a warrant or something out there for me...and this is the first time im hearing about it.

So we go into the US border office...and are greeted by a dude holding a FUCKING SNIPER RIFLE. He tells us in a gruff voice to sit in the end booth and someone will 'see to us'. I was worried I was going to get shot...especially when I started giggling uncontrollably when i saw the picture of Dick Cheney and GWB. Dick looks like hes about to eat a small child in the picture. All that is missing is froth around his mouth...
So some chick comes to talk to me:
BorderGuard : Where are you heading?
Juicy: Great Falls, MT
BG: What is your purpose?
Juicy: We are bringing up retired greyhounds
BG: How long do you plan on staying in the US?
Juicy: About 2 hours
BorderGuard : Where are you heading? Juicy: Great Falls, MT
BG: Whatre the dogs for?
Juicy: Pets... people adopt them as pets
BorderGuard : Where are you heading? Juicy: Great Falls, MT...

And it went on for 5 min...her asking the same questions over and over again. Like she was trying to catch me in a lie or something.... Fuck.

So we were let in...barely....and got to GF and picked up the greyhounds. All were extremely sweet and adorable. I think I called Jer and prolly didnt make any sense i was so excited. We loaded up our vehicle and I immediately took a shine to one little girl, named Shockwave Eva. She actually took quite a shine to me, too... she spent a large part of the next 7 hours sleeping with her head on my shoulder. Always licking me and wagging her tail... ( yeah, you know where this is going....)

So we hit the Canadian border with all our paperwork for the dogs in hand... and they refused us. Come back Monday, we were told. Our organizer started calling supervisors for customs in Ottawa and Vancouver to get us through. And so for 2 hours, we all had to sit in our vehicles with the dogs ( not letting them out to walk or for peepees because they were 'illegal'), until someone in ottawa decided that yes, we did pre-clear everyone for customs. They just made us pay GST for them.

I didnt get back to Calgary until 7 pm...and yes, by this time i had called Jer 3 times asking for his permission to bring back a little friend for Digit. He didnt actually say yes until the next morning. And we havent actually adopted her, we are just fostering her until she finds her permanent home.... [ yeah, im already working on changing that...]

So now I present to you, Shockwave Eva. ( Sorry its the best pic I have of her, shes pretty squirrelly)