Friday, December 16, 2005

.And now 30 facts about Mr. T

Top Thirty Mr. T Facts

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. [my fave.. a good reference to Chuck]

Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. in the chest. the result was the 80's.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.

Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.

Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. 254 6.89

Mr. T skis uphill.

It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.

6 comments:

CBK said...

Started slow, but had a lot of good ones near the end.

JuicyA said...

yah not as good as chuck

Monty said...

I liked it a lot, but you can always get me with a little existentialism!

Itchy said...

I'm the dork that liked that one better than Chuck's... :P

Agent 31 said...

I like these things. Is it just him, Chuck and Vin Diesel? Are there others?

Bliss said...

I enjoyed the Four Horsemen. :)