So here i am baking mini quiches and drinking caesars with Juicy's Little Helper [ the last of the weed was unfortunately used up this morning when i found that the Goonies was on TBS... wikked awesome movie, dude. but seriously, that Andie chick was driving me bonkers with all the shreiking. Every friggin time she moved she screamed. And i dont think they were very culturally sensitive to the 'Data' character...anyhoo] and i have decided to do a "2005: A Year in Review" Post cuz right now the TV is full of that kinda shit.
Jan: I finally passed the Bar exams and became a lawyer. I still didnt have a job, though, but at least i was able to tell people i was an Unemployed lawyer, as opposed to an Unemployed loser who failed the bar exam a bunch of times.
I also stopped seeing Mila. Wait, was i ever actually seeing him to begin with?
Feb: Still unemployed and seriously considering the world of pr0n to make money... however, on the 23rd of the month I went grocery shopping, and ended up picking up a boy with my milk, cheese and bread. This, of course was my beloved Jeremy.
March: Not alot happened... i went on some job interviews...hung out with Jer...planned our trip to Mexico. however in....
April: I got a job as a family lawyer, which was pretty damned funny cuz i knew nothing about family law, hated the class, and had never even looked at a file. Sadly, I was paid in accordance with my inexperience and made as much at that job as the guy who drives the ice cream truck.
Right before i started there, me and Jer went to Puerto Vallarta and spent 7 days drinking, laying in the sun, and swimming.
May: I bought a car, a lovely silver 2005 VW Jetta whom, in the spirit of Episode III of Star Wars coming out, I named Obi-Wan Volknobi.
I celebrated my 28th bday on the 24th in the most horrible fashion imaginable: throwing up every 30 seconds for a duration of 2 days after discovering that yes, in fact, I am allergic to Hash oil.
I also subscribed to Blog Explosion...which brought me tons of readers/ blogbuddies and finally gave me a method for my blogging madness.
June: Worked alot...although i was supposed to be reviewed and told whether i would be kept on permanently as a lawyer or let go...they just decided to keep me on contract another 3 months. I was also told this via email, not in person. What a fuckin wuss my old boss was.
July: The rainiest summer i can recall was filled with me working, wearing my hair in its full blown curly glory...and finally making it to the Stampede grounds for the first time ever. [still never made it to a pancake breakfast, though]
August: For July and August, I spent 2 nights a week cheering for Jer's team in his Summer Hockey league [hes the commissioner] ...and in August the Aces Won.
Totally pissed about the whole non-permanent status of my job, i started looking for a new place to go. I interviewed at a few places, one pretty much offered me the job in the first 5 min of the interview....
There was a 90% chance that if you said something to me in August, I answered you with " Ranch! "
Sept: I switched jobs. My new place offered me more money, more respect, and a future. Best Decision Ever. [uhhh... that and saying yes to Jer, that is :P]
On the 22nd, I posted a picture of my ass and successfully joined the ranks of Half Nekkid Thursday participants.
NOTE: I missed HNT this week... so if you want to know what my fave one of the year is, its Dec 08/05...although the fan fave was #6...you can click them to the left to see em]
Oct: I was named as bloggin hottie #7... I want to thank my mom, God, my agent....
Jer agreed to let me move into his house. Now i am paying less rent/ utilities, get to see my boy all the time, and he gets my skilled sandwich making skills and all my furniture. Co-habitation bliss followed.
Nov: My work trained me as a mediator... still have yet to do one, but have used the skills a lot...especially on a certain boyfriend who didnt want to get a doggie until...
Dec: Me and Jer adopted Digit, the retired racing greyhound...
Jer celebrated his first Christmas...i celebrated my first Hannukah
Juicy got carpal tunnel syndrome from posting a really fucking big post on the 31st.
---
Okay, yah get it.... have a fucking good one tonite. Im getting a drink. I mean, its the last time its going to be 2pm ever again in 2005... Have a fun and safe 2006 everyone!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
Its a dog's life....
Presenting Digit... in full mouse hunting mode. For someone bred to run like the wind, he sure is clumsy and likes to sleep a lot. And man oh man, dont even get me started on the smell of greyhound farts. But hes been a pretty good boy and only left us one 'present' in the living room so far.
Other than the obvious, I havent been up to too much. Christmas with the family was typical: they drank a lot said some weird things [the first thing my father said to me was 'Whoa, you sure are getting fat'] and we ate a shitload of turkey and turkey related side dishes. Jer had his first Christmas and seems to have come thru fairly unscathed. I think his overall opinion was that Christmas = presents and food; therefore, Christmas = Good.
Someone dented my poor baby car over the last week. If I find out who you are... i will dent you one in return.
New Years is pretty much sounding like Ill be hitting a houseparty, eating a bunch of shit, drinking, and [d'oh] watching 6 hours of hockey. Yeah. My boy sure knows how to party. Speaking of food... I think i will be making a large selection of the food....likely this afternoon and likely while stoned.
If i dont blog until then, happy 2006 y'all and may all your days be merry and bright and not smell like greyhound farts...
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Bringing Home Baby
I hope everyone had a great holiday... mine was pretty wikked. And not just because while i type this i am also playing tug o war with my beautiful ex-racing greyhound, Digimon Didit [aka "Digit"]. ( Ill be sure to post pics once i am able to figure out how to do it on Jer's Mac.)
Im waaaay too excited to type anything else right now...
Im waaaay too excited to type anything else right now...
Friday, December 23, 2005
Is it noon yet?
Im done work in 1.5 hrs for a full week. Woot!! To celebrate, I bought everyone here a bottle of Baileys. I just cracked mine open. I have a feeling that time is going to fly now...
Before I get the hell outta Dodge, big thanks to CBK and Cindy for their Christmas goodies.
CBK has 2 adorable boys and his card was of them grinning at the camera. So cute. I wonder if they know their Daddy drinks girl drinks? [haha had to say it!]
Cindy sent me a card that cracked me up totally of elf pick up lines and a magnet which is now proudly adorning my fridge [next to JJ's stickers of course!]. Im going to have to get ya to get me something from the Kenosha Dog track next time you are in that area again, too, Cindy... I need to make my boy Digit feel less homesick. [ps Go vote for her for Blogging Hottie!
To everyone else, if I dont blog before Sunday, Happy holidays and stuff. I hope Santa brings you all the goodies you desire [both illegal and legal] and everyone avoids being arrested in the new year.
Big Kisses,
Juicy A
Before I get the hell outta Dodge, big thanks to CBK and Cindy for their Christmas goodies.
CBK has 2 adorable boys and his card was of them grinning at the camera. So cute. I wonder if they know their Daddy drinks girl drinks? [haha had to say it!]
Cindy sent me a card that cracked me up totally of elf pick up lines and a magnet which is now proudly adorning my fridge [next to JJ's stickers of course!]. Im going to have to get ya to get me something from the Kenosha Dog track next time you are in that area again, too, Cindy... I need to make my boy Digit feel less homesick. [ps Go vote for her for Blogging Hottie!
To everyone else, if I dont blog before Sunday, Happy holidays and stuff. I hope Santa brings you all the goodies you desire [both illegal and legal] and everyone avoids being arrested in the new year.
Big Kisses,
Juicy A
A Canadian Christmas Classic: Bob and Doug's 12 days of Christmas
Okay, everyone's been asking for it, so here it is, our Twelve Days Of Christmas. We're gonna sing it now...
Bob Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Doug Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!
Bob Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on. Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Doug Look out the window!
Bob Where?! Whadda ya doing?
Doug Snow, hosehead.
Bob Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing, cause it's Christmas time. Hey, hoser!
Doug What?
Bob Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
Doug Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
Bob Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Doug Uh, the 25th.
Bob Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that's two. And then, what's after that?
Doug Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
Bob No. Get out.
Doug Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
Bob That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.
Doug New Year's.
Bob Four. And what's...
Doug New Year's Eve.
Bob Five. Where do you get twelve?
Doug Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four. That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
(Music starts.)
Bob Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob Okay.
Doug By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob Aw, geez.
Doug You start.
Bob Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug There should be more there, eh?
Bob Where? On the... go.
Doug Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer.
Doug In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer, what was it?
Together In a tree!
Bob Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers Five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer,
Together In a tree!
Bob Okay.
Doug Okay.
Bob On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four! (BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)
Bob & BG Singers Five golden touques!
Doug Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob Three French toast,
Doug Two turtlenecks,
Bob And a beer,
Together In a tree!
Bob Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!
Bob Um...
Doug Go, hoser.
Bob Oh.
Together Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug Eight comic books,
All Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
All And a beer,
Doug On my tree!
Bob Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers Twelve!
Bob Uh, twelve.
Doug Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers Five golden touques!
All Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
Bob Beauty, eh?
Doug Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob Uh, albums.
Doug Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob Merry Christmas!
Doug And good day!
Bob Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug What?
Bob Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug Okay, the song's over.
Bob But I want...
Doug Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
Doug Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...
Bob Take off!
Doug Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
Bob Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
Doug Wha-?
(Music fades.)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Not necessarily a half nekkid thursday
I know that we arent doing the good old regular HNT today...but a different one where we give 'gifts' to our co-half nekkidteers. Im trying to get done a lot of shite before the big week off next week here at work, so im going to try to make a more lengthy post later...but for now, here is a pic that my sis took last year of me...while we were likely drunk on some sort of blender drink. Its sorta become a yearly tradition over at her house...us drunk on Christmas eve and taking sleazy pics with me wearing a santa hat.
Introducing "Slutty Elf"
PS Canada rules!
Introducing "Slutty Elf"
PS Canada rules!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Christmas cookie recipe
A few people sent me this this year... like they think they know me or something. But if they really knew me, they would know that i prefer to get stoned before i bake...not drunk.
...
It is that time of the year so here is another copy of the recipe that you probably
misplaced last year!
Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another
cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS
...
It is that time of the year so here is another copy of the recipe that you probably
misplaced last year!
Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another
cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Meme-o-rama
JJ tagged me. I dunno, maybe he didnt like the Christmas Card i sent him and his Italian Greyhound, JD. *sniff*
You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
Stronger sentences for parole violators...and world peace. [yes, I really liked Miss Congeniality]
Actually... I got what i wanted yesterday: Jer and I are adopting a retired ex-racing Greyhound and the Oilers won over the Flames in a brilliant exhibition of style, charisma, and excellent scoring chances.
Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. Nice weather during my week off... Id like to take my BMX for a spin. Its like 6 degrees out right now.
2. To win the lottery and be able to become what i truly desire: A socialite.
3. Then I could also volunteer for free to Amnesty International as a Civil Rights lawyer to fight the Death Penalty in other countries...while also wearing Versace fashion and with a glass of Veuve Cliquot in one hand and a coke vial in the other.
4. Super powers would be cool too. Id like to be able to stop time, fly, and shoot fire out of my finger tips.
5. I could use a drink right now.
6. Eternal hapiness for me, my Jer, my family, my soon to be doggie, and all my readers out there [house lights go on in the audience].
What animal would you be?
A wild pony. Or a Siamese Fighting Fish...Kingsley's got it pretty good.
Something you want to do in your life:
See above....#3
One song you could listen to over and over again:
Any song over and over again would drive me bonkers...but Im going to say Lucky Man by the Verve. Cuz when i was studying for the LSAT I had this tape where it played non stop to relax me when i went to sleep...and it totally worked. Or "Hollaback Girl" cuz it was stuck in my head for about 4 months this summer and it didnt [completely] make me go crazy.
Coke or Pepsi?
Vodka
Something you currently desire:
Some more of those chocolate covered Almonds on my assistant's desk. Is it abusing my power if i order her to bring them to me? You! Girl! Get me those chocolates!
One good deed you’ve done lately:
Im a sucker for those 'Santa's Anonymous' campaigns where you buy a bunch of toys for less fortunate kids...on Friday I bought 4 boxes of Legos for the charity. *blush*
A funny moment in your life:
So this one time, Juicy walked into a Bar and *thunk*
Im not tagging anyone... but anyone who is interested may steal...[ i like the passive aggressive approach]
You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
Stronger sentences for parole violators...and world peace. [yes, I really liked Miss Congeniality]
Actually... I got what i wanted yesterday: Jer and I are adopting a retired ex-racing Greyhound and the Oilers won over the Flames in a brilliant exhibition of style, charisma, and excellent scoring chances.
Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. Nice weather during my week off... Id like to take my BMX for a spin. Its like 6 degrees out right now.
2. To win the lottery and be able to become what i truly desire: A socialite.
3. Then I could also volunteer for free to Amnesty International as a Civil Rights lawyer to fight the Death Penalty in other countries...while also wearing Versace fashion and with a glass of Veuve Cliquot in one hand and a coke vial in the other.
4. Super powers would be cool too. Id like to be able to stop time, fly, and shoot fire out of my finger tips.
5. I could use a drink right now.
6. Eternal hapiness for me, my Jer, my family, my soon to be doggie, and all my readers out there [house lights go on in the audience].
What animal would you be?
A wild pony. Or a Siamese Fighting Fish...Kingsley's got it pretty good.
Something you want to do in your life:
See above....#3
One song you could listen to over and over again:
Any song over and over again would drive me bonkers...but Im going to say Lucky Man by the Verve. Cuz when i was studying for the LSAT I had this tape where it played non stop to relax me when i went to sleep...and it totally worked. Or "Hollaback Girl" cuz it was stuck in my head for about 4 months this summer and it didnt [completely] make me go crazy.
Coke or Pepsi?
Vodka
Something you currently desire:
Some more of those chocolate covered Almonds on my assistant's desk. Is it abusing my power if i order her to bring them to me? You! Girl! Get me those chocolates!
One good deed you’ve done lately:
Im a sucker for those 'Santa's Anonymous' campaigns where you buy a bunch of toys for less fortunate kids...on Friday I bought 4 boxes of Legos for the charity. *blush*
A funny moment in your life:
So this one time, Juicy walked into a Bar and *thunk*
Im not tagging anyone... but anyone who is interested may steal...[ i like the passive aggressive approach]
Monday, December 19, 2005
!!!!!!!
First, I'd like to say i love my Jer very very much
Second, WERE GETTING A GREYHOUND!!!!
Hopefully next week Digimon Didit will be coming home to live with us! Im so friggin excited!
Second, WERE GETTING A GREYHOUND!!!!
Hopefully next week Digimon Didit will be coming home to live with us! Im so friggin excited!
Juicy does Hannukah
Even though it isnt until the 26th...
Hannukah Harry came early this year and I got my first Hannukah presents yesterday. Consisting of:
- a driedel
- some gelt [chocolate gold coins]
- some books
I still havent played dreidel yet...but im sure it will be a rush.
Here is a rocking good song to play when lighting the menorah (Cant you just see the slacker twntysomethings from Reality Bites dancing to that in the 7-11?)
I havent gotten my present from Jer yet. Hopefully it has 4 legs...is furry...used to race in Wisconsin...and likes dog biscuits...
Hannukah Harry came early this year and I got my first Hannukah presents yesterday. Consisting of:- a driedel
- some gelt [chocolate gold coins]
- some books
I still havent played dreidel yet...but im sure it will be a rush.
Here is a rocking good song to play when lighting the menorah (Cant you just see the slacker twntysomethings from Reality Bites dancing to that in the 7-11?)
I havent gotten my present from Jer yet. Hopefully it has 4 legs...is furry...used to race in Wisconsin...and likes dog biscuits...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Action Packed Holiday Post
So Ive actually been up to a bunch of stuff this weekend. So much so that i decided to break the norm and actually post on a Sunday.
Friday was the work Christmas party, which started at about 1130 in the morning with us drinking champagne and eating chinese food. Pretty sweet. The bosses gave me an xmas bonus of 500 smackers which is pretty damn fine.
The actual party didnt start til 630 and it was at Jubilations dinner theatre...which is one of those people-dressed-in-costumes-who-sing-and-dance-and-serve-you-prime-rib sort of places. I aint going to lie to you: it was pretty gay. I mean, i did laugh a few times...but for the most part i just sat there and drank. Actually, that pretty much explains why i was laughing at times. I drank 4 pitchers of caesars and around 7 shooters there. Jer was drunk before the singing/play/gayness started and kept trying to tell me that all the songs they were singing were by Gowan. [who was this really sucky pop singer in Canada during the 80s]
Anyhoo, I drank, I partied and i ended up,overall, having a pretty fun time. Didnt embarrass myself or anything, but did whoop it up. It made me realise that the people i work with are all pretty awesome. Besides the big bonus, the boss gave us all giftcertificates [mine was for Chapters] and made me some mixed CDs. Awesome.
Saturday was also pretty action packed. Gay best friend was in town and we went to the gay bar and danced at night. I met his new BF who is really cute, funny, and, had he not been gay and i was single, i would totally put the moves on. [thats a pretty big compliment... i usually am not attracted to gay guys cuz they are usually pretty girly]
Saturday was also pretty good cuz I convinced Jer to go to a 'Adoptive Greyhound Meet and Greet' at a pet store in town [ I guarantee you that Jer is rolling his eyes as he reads this] and met some 'hounds and their people. We also met Digimon Didit...who is 6, up for adoption, and has the sweetest little face i have ever seen. I was shocked how sedate all the GHs were...with the pet store being filled with screaming children, yappy little dogs, and puppies peeing everywhere. They all just kinda strolled along and licked the hand of anyone who came by to say 'hi'. Anyhoo, I really liked Diggy the greyhound and really really really hope that if 'someone' is reading this, he keeps that in mind.
Now its Sunday and im watching the football. Later today im going to eat Latkes at Jer's mom's house. Im not sure what they are...but so far ive like the jewish food, so it shant be bad.
Friday was the work Christmas party, which started at about 1130 in the morning with us drinking champagne and eating chinese food. Pretty sweet. The bosses gave me an xmas bonus of 500 smackers which is pretty damn fine.
The actual party didnt start til 630 and it was at Jubilations dinner theatre...which is one of those people-dressed-in-costumes-who-sing-and-dance-and-serve-you-prime-rib sort of places. I aint going to lie to you: it was pretty gay. I mean, i did laugh a few times...but for the most part i just sat there and drank. Actually, that pretty much explains why i was laughing at times. I drank 4 pitchers of caesars and around 7 shooters there. Jer was drunk before the singing/play/gayness started and kept trying to tell me that all the songs they were singing were by Gowan. [who was this really sucky pop singer in Canada during the 80s]
Anyhoo, I drank, I partied and i ended up,overall, having a pretty fun time. Didnt embarrass myself or anything, but did whoop it up. It made me realise that the people i work with are all pretty awesome. Besides the big bonus, the boss gave us all giftcertificates [mine was for Chapters] and made me some mixed CDs. Awesome.
Saturday was also pretty action packed. Gay best friend was in town and we went to the gay bar and danced at night. I met his new BF who is really cute, funny, and, had he not been gay and i was single, i would totally put the moves on. [thats a pretty big compliment... i usually am not attracted to gay guys cuz they are usually pretty girly]
Saturday was also pretty good cuz I convinced Jer to go to a 'Adoptive Greyhound Meet and Greet' at a pet store in town [ I guarantee you that Jer is rolling his eyes as he reads this] and met some 'hounds and their people. We also met Digimon Didit...who is 6, up for adoption, and has the sweetest little face i have ever seen. I was shocked how sedate all the GHs were...with the pet store being filled with screaming children, yappy little dogs, and puppies peeing everywhere. They all just kinda strolled along and licked the hand of anyone who came by to say 'hi'. Anyhoo, I really liked Diggy the greyhound and really really really hope that if 'someone' is reading this, he keeps that in mind.
Now its Sunday and im watching the football. Later today im going to eat Latkes at Jer's mom's house. Im not sure what they are...but so far ive like the jewish food, so it shant be bad.
Friday, December 16, 2005
.And now 30 facts about Mr. T
Top Thirty Mr. T Facts
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. [my fave.. a good reference to Chuck]
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. 254 6.89
Mr. T skis uphill.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. [my fave.. a good reference to Chuck]
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. 254 6.89
Mr. T skis uphill.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T can rip a phonebook in half with his bare testicles.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Half Nekkid Thursday #11: Brrrr! Its chilly outside!
Thank goodness I brought a scarf!
For more cool nekkidness go see the great Osbasso!
For more of my nekkidness, check the sidebar!
Something Funny that Jer sent me
This made me laugh and laugh and laugh. God Bless you, Chuck Norris.
30 things you didnt know about Chuck Norris...
1) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2) When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
3) Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
4) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
5) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6) If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
7) Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
8) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
9) Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
10) Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
11) Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
12) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
13) Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
14) Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
15) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
16) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
17) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
18) Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
19) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
20) There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
21) Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
22) Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
23) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
24) Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
25) The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
26) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
27) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
28) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
29) It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
30) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Number 15 and 26 are my faves
30 things you didnt know about Chuck Norris...
1) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2) When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
3) Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
4) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
5) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6) If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
7) Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
8) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
9) Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
10) Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
11) Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
12) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
13) Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
14) Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
15) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
16) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
17) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
18) Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
19) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
20) There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
21) Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
22) Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
23) There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
24) Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
25) The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
26) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
27) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
28) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
29) It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
30) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Number 15 and 26 are my faves
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Not so christmasy...but pretty funny.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Extreme |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Very High |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Extreme |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | High |
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
All I want for Christmas/ Hannukah/ Kwanzaa/Festivus...
Am I being too obvious?
I just think that Speed of the Wind, Im Illustrious, and Clyde all need good homes now that their racing days are done....
More greyhounds in the Calgary area who need homes can be found here [hint hint]
take it hip to hip rock it through the wilderness
I heard a B-52s song on the radio this morning...and it totally put me in a good mood.
Its snowing outside. Its been uber warm lately and there was no snow, and it was making me kinda sad. Cant imagine christmas without the snow... need something to go sledding on on Boxing Day.
Im super busy at work right now, which is good, cuz my life is super boring outside of work. All I do is lay on the couch or bed and watch TV. Totally blows. I need to make myself make kickboxing class on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Or find another hobby. Or get a dog or something.
On another non-related blathery point, here is my Elf name: [thanks to Osbasso]
And some more B-52's:
roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without wings, without wheels
without anything but the love we feeeel
Its snowing outside. Its been uber warm lately and there was no snow, and it was making me kinda sad. Cant imagine christmas without the snow... need something to go sledding on on Boxing Day.
Im super busy at work right now, which is good, cuz my life is super boring outside of work. All I do is lay on the couch or bed and watch TV. Totally blows. I need to make myself make kickboxing class on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Or find another hobby. Or get a dog or something.
On another non-related blathery point, here is my Elf name: [thanks to Osbasso]
| ||||||||||||||
And some more B-52's:
roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without wings, without wheels
without anything but the love we feeeel
Monday, December 12, 2005
Its finally Christmas
Ususally i can avoid feeling jolly until the 20th, but this year, despite my best efforts to supress it... its happened already. Im feelin Christmas-sy.
I think it had a lot to do with seeing A Christmas Story this weekend. Nothin speaks to me about Christmas more than "You'll shoot your eye out!"
If you havent seen it... my pals the Bunnies have a 30 second version of it
I also sent out my cards and other trinkets... and will shop for naughty outfit for the Christmas party tonight. I just need to see Rudolph and Ill be good to go.
I think it had a lot to do with seeing A Christmas Story this weekend. Nothin speaks to me about Christmas more than "You'll shoot your eye out!"
If you havent seen it... my pals the Bunnies have a 30 second version of it
I also sent out my cards and other trinkets... and will shop for naughty outfit for the Christmas party tonight. I just need to see Rudolph and Ill be good to go.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Baked Baking
And welcome back to 'Cooking with Juicy'!
Before the commercial break, I had just sliced my thumb open with the large knife i was using to cut the onions. To stop the bleeding, I put a bandaid on and smoked some more weed. This time I used the waterpipe, a nicer cooler smoke for this time in the afternoon.
Now lets take a look at our pie: MMMM
Its, of course, apple pie with a lattice top which, in the last 10 minutes of baking, i will be brushing with a butter and sugar glaze, Yum yum!
Our chili is still slow cooking on the stove and boy oh boy does it smell good! I wish you had smell o vision! [audience applause and canned laughter].
I sure hope i dont get the 2 mixed up and end up putting some nutmeg in the chili and some cayenne in the pie. Although maybe that would be tasty. Naw. Lets not.
Ok time for another commercial break. Remember that cooking with Juicy has been brought to you by Motts Clamato and Puff Pipes of Vancouver BC.
[end scene]
Before the commercial break, I had just sliced my thumb open with the large knife i was using to cut the onions. To stop the bleeding, I put a bandaid on and smoked some more weed. This time I used the waterpipe, a nicer cooler smoke for this time in the afternoon.
Now lets take a look at our pie: MMMM
Its, of course, apple pie with a lattice top which, in the last 10 minutes of baking, i will be brushing with a butter and sugar glaze, Yum yum!
Our chili is still slow cooking on the stove and boy oh boy does it smell good! I wish you had smell o vision! [audience applause and canned laughter].
I sure hope i dont get the 2 mixed up and end up putting some nutmeg in the chili and some cayenne in the pie. Although maybe that would be tasty. Naw. Lets not.
Ok time for another commercial break. Remember that cooking with Juicy has been brought to you by Motts Clamato and Puff Pipes of Vancouver BC.
[end scene]
Friday, December 09, 2005
A picture is worth a 1000 words
I dont even know where to start with this thing. I...cant...look...away
( found at Disturbing Auctions)
Dying (and other cheerful topics)
Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of John Lennons death. As a Beatles fan, that totally bummed me out.
The radio was all Beatles yesterday and had little quips from people talking about where they were when they heard...and being that i have recently become the wussiest sap ever [ i cried 4 times during Top Model on Wednesday] i could stop from tearing up while i was listening.
I think the saddest phonecall from a listener was someone whose son was born the day after Lennon's death and made a comment about how bad she felt that John's son, Sean, never had his daddy with him when he was growing up. Fuck. I lost it.
Being the morbid SOB that i am, this made me think about the list of songs i want played at my funeral. Im sure everyone has one of these lists [right?!]. So far Ive come up with:
- Heart of Gold, Neil Young
- California Dreamin', The Mamas and the Papas
- Instant Karma, John Lennon [yes, this one has been on my list a long time... although they played it yesterday and it made me cry]
- Lucky Man, The Verve
- Slide Away, Oasis
-You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, The Beatles [prolly my fave song ever]
And just to lighten the mood and make people laugh, I was thinking
-Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani [or something equally ridiculous that my friends would say represents me]
Also, although i want to be cremated, I want to be wearing something sexy and with a good pair of stillettos. Maybe in one of my evening gowns.
Okay. Now that Ive spent some time talkin bout my demise... Im going to go get a donut.
The radio was all Beatles yesterday and had little quips from people talking about where they were when they heard...and being that i have recently become the wussiest sap ever [ i cried 4 times during Top Model on Wednesday] i could stop from tearing up while i was listening.
I think the saddest phonecall from a listener was someone whose son was born the day after Lennon's death and made a comment about how bad she felt that John's son, Sean, never had his daddy with him when he was growing up. Fuck. I lost it.
Being the morbid SOB that i am, this made me think about the list of songs i want played at my funeral. Im sure everyone has one of these lists [right?!]. So far Ive come up with:
- Heart of Gold, Neil Young
- California Dreamin', The Mamas and the Papas
- Instant Karma, John Lennon [yes, this one has been on my list a long time... although they played it yesterday and it made me cry]
- Lucky Man, The Verve
- Slide Away, Oasis
-You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, The Beatles [prolly my fave song ever]
And just to lighten the mood and make people laugh, I was thinking
-Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani [or something equally ridiculous that my friends would say represents me]
Also, although i want to be cremated, I want to be wearing something sexy and with a good pair of stillettos. Maybe in one of my evening gowns.
Okay. Now that Ive spent some time talkin bout my demise... Im going to go get a donut.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
HNT X: Caught in the Act!
I hate working late...but its something i signed up for when i decided to become a lawyer. so to make it more tolerable, i like to slip into something a little more comfortable when the front door locks and everyone else goes home...
Sadly for me, the damn papparazzi follow me everywhere!
To see more people caught in the act go see da man
Sadly for me, the damn papparazzi follow me everywhere!
To see more people caught in the act go see da man
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
We threw a party and nobody came...
Haha... so funny.
We hada meet and greet with our office and the local real estate offices that give us a bunch of work... and not a single person came.
It was me and my co-workers, dresed up and with carefully prepped snacks and pizza...and no one else.
Oh well, i think i have eaten about 15 mini cupcakes that we bought for our good buddies. I kept suggesting that the partners go buy us 15 bottles of vodka to make the party better [ blatant reference to how damn funny The Office was last night].
We hada meet and greet with our office and the local real estate offices that give us a bunch of work... and not a single person came.
It was me and my co-workers, dresed up and with carefully prepped snacks and pizza...and no one else.
Oh well, i think i have eaten about 15 mini cupcakes that we bought for our good buddies. I kept suggesting that the partners go buy us 15 bottles of vodka to make the party better [ blatant reference to how damn funny The Office was last night].
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Oh Senor Juan!
Remember the Senor?
You are a celebrity, baby!
According to Stat counter, he has been googled as "conquistador painting" 3 times in the last week! So to the good people at the Westin Diplomat Hotel in Florida, thank you. I am sure he enjoys the attention. I take back what i said about Florida. [ haha yes im kidding...]
[in case you are wondering where he was placed in my new house with Jer, do not worry...he hasnt been downgraded to a cellar or basement, he is on the bedroom wall opposite of the bed. Deee-lightful. Every morning i wake to his noble and determined face.]
You are a celebrity, baby!
According to Stat counter, he has been googled as "conquistador painting" 3 times in the last week! So to the good people at the Westin Diplomat Hotel in Florida, thank you. I am sure he enjoys the attention. I take back what i said about Florida. [ haha yes im kidding...]
[in case you are wondering where he was placed in my new house with Jer, do not worry...he hasnt been downgraded to a cellar or basement, he is on the bedroom wall opposite of the bed. Deee-lightful. Every morning i wake to his noble and determined face.]
When my assistant is away...
Juicy will play...
Or Ill just catch up on stuff that has literally been growing mold in my inbox for the last 2 weeks. I hope i dont need to send out any letters, I havent typed anything work related in months. I really wouldnt know what to do.
Its cold here. Its now always cold here. Im going to have to live with it. When i started Obi this morning he made a hiccup noise. I was worried he wasnt planning on starting.
My boss just asked me if i was wearing sweatpants. Well okay, they are grey wool looser cut pants...and i am wearing a suspiciously housecoat-looking sweater...and big silver raver shoes... but i dont look like im in sweatpants. Well, maybe a little.
I bought some neat-o Christmas cards to send out. I plan on sending them today or tomorrow. Some of you lucky cats will be getting funny trinkets as well. I dont know what as of yet, but Im thinking things that can be easily mailed. If you want to be sent one... the email addy is over there under my picture-->.
Being that im just blathering on here, maybe ill also bring up that Ive noticed lately that i have become quite a suck. I cry at reality show finales, at makeover shows, at talk shows...etc. I really dont know why. Last night i was flipping between the 2003 America's Next Top Model finale [and yes, i knew that Adrienne won before i watched it] and the Hell's Kitchen last episode [the dude with tattoos won]. Both made me tear up.
Speaking of both reality TV and work [aha! a segway! i love it] I have to come in on my week off of work [Dec 23 to Jan 02]to go to a Parentage and Maintenance hearing. Basically, this is when someone is denying that they are the baby daddy, and Montel sends everyone for bloodtests and then the DNA test comes back and he says "Jamal, in the case of 4 year old Mo-Nique...You ARE NOT the father"...except instead of Montel its a judge. Yeah. So thats on the 28 th of December. My client is the deadbeat saying "Yo, dawg, that baby looks nuttin like me! Bitch is a 'ho and she be sleeping around!"
Okay. Time to get to it. Woot.
Or Ill just catch up on stuff that has literally been growing mold in my inbox for the last 2 weeks. I hope i dont need to send out any letters, I havent typed anything work related in months. I really wouldnt know what to do.
Its cold here. Its now always cold here. Im going to have to live with it. When i started Obi this morning he made a hiccup noise. I was worried he wasnt planning on starting.
My boss just asked me if i was wearing sweatpants. Well okay, they are grey wool looser cut pants...and i am wearing a suspiciously housecoat-looking sweater...and big silver raver shoes... but i dont look like im in sweatpants. Well, maybe a little.
I bought some neat-o Christmas cards to send out. I plan on sending them today or tomorrow. Some of you lucky cats will be getting funny trinkets as well. I dont know what as of yet, but Im thinking things that can be easily mailed. If you want to be sent one... the email addy is over there under my picture-->.
Being that im just blathering on here, maybe ill also bring up that Ive noticed lately that i have become quite a suck. I cry at reality show finales, at makeover shows, at talk shows...etc. I really dont know why. Last night i was flipping between the 2003 America's Next Top Model finale [and yes, i knew that Adrienne won before i watched it] and the Hell's Kitchen last episode [the dude with tattoos won]. Both made me tear up.
Speaking of both reality TV and work [aha! a segway! i love it] I have to come in on my week off of work [Dec 23 to Jan 02]to go to a Parentage and Maintenance hearing. Basically, this is when someone is denying that they are the baby daddy, and Montel sends everyone for bloodtests and then the DNA test comes back and he says "Jamal, in the case of 4 year old Mo-Nique...You ARE NOT the father"...except instead of Montel its a judge. Yeah. So thats on the 28 th of December. My client is the deadbeat saying "Yo, dawg, that baby looks nuttin like me! Bitch is a 'ho and she be sleeping around!"
Okay. Time to get to it. Woot.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Ahhh Poo!
 Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
If I wore a nametag, thats what it would say. [love to cindy via amy for the fun]
Its Monday. Its bloody hell cold. My oilers lost on Saturday. I have a headache. My clients are making me bonkers. [thought id get all that out of the way] However, im most cranky right now about poo.
Yes, thats right. You read me right. Poo. As in I have pooped a record 14 times today and there appears to be no end in sight.
I wish i was joking right now.
I have theories for this:
- an addiction to coffee and eggnog has caused me to drink approx. 876 litres of the brown gold in the last few days.
- i ate approx. 235 llbs of food last night at Jer's Mom's house. She truly believes in making so much food it would put the Country Buffet to shame...we're talking soup, salad, 2 meat dishes, 2 veggie, 2 starch, bread, and 2 different desserts.
- i had a horrible bout of diarrahea on Thursday... [ i am SOOO pushing the TMI line right now that i thought i would just burst thru it and go all out] so i took some Immodium. I then didnt poop until last night at 11:00pm. I think my pipes got pretty backed up.
I was in Chambers this morning and, being that it was the first Monday of the Month [which means anyone who didnt pay their child support on the 1st or didnt return Jr. on time this weekend, etc. etc. etc. was there] it was fucking insanely busy. I was matter #75 on the list of 125. My client was being irrational and wasnt following my advice, the other lawyer was losing patience with me....and i had to shit really really REALLY bad.
I wonder if i will be reported to the law society for being abrupt with the court because i just wanted to get the hell out of the courtroom so i could take a dump. [ i still got a good deal for the client, though, apparently my ass and my brain arent that connected]
Id love to chat more, but, as you may have guessed, doodie is calling again.
| |
Friday, December 02, 2005
Fun for Friday
Its fuggin cold [ minus 30 celcius, -22 Farenheit] and im super busy... so i stole this from Bliss cuz it made me laugh, and i am kinda curious whether you all actually know what im about...
Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* football or chess
* hiking or golfing
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or Dockers
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* football or chess
* hiking or golfing
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or Dockers
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Half Nekkid Thursday: Poster child
I stole this from "motivational poster" thingy from The Girl in camouflage... I made a few for my assistant and friends, and well, one for HNT was inevitable....
Go see Os to learn the ropes
Clicky over there--> for my past pics
((pssst... the 3 day reference is when its "acceptable" to sleep with someone you are dating for the first time...of course I have, uhhh, always followed this rule ))
Go see Os to learn the ropes
Clicky over there--> for my past pics
((pssst... the 3 day reference is when its "acceptable" to sleep with someone you are dating for the first time...of course I have, uhhh, always followed this rule ))
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Hump Day
...strangely rhymes with "thump" day. And yes, there are people i currently would like to thump.
My voicemail this morning which, as usual, was filled with people explaining ad nauseum about how they want to sue all sorts of people who looked at them funny, sold them a crappy car, blah, blah, blah, [if i had a rubber mallett for every crazy id like to pummel...] but i also had a few other "interesting" messages.
One was from a lawyer who says he has been doing family law for 15 years. After confirming that he was sending some documents i requested from him... he said [and i quote, im actually typing his message verbatim]
Uhhhhh....okay.
My next message was from the mother of one of my clients. She lives in another province and i am having a hard ass time trying to get her son custody of his daughter. Her son knows what an uphill battle i have had and how much work Ive put into this file. However.... Mom calls me and rants for 10 minutes about how useless i am and how she
Now i think i should call that elder family lawyer and ask him whatelse he can see in his crystal ball.
[pic made with program i was hooked up with on Camo girl's site]
My voicemail this morning which, as usual, was filled with people explaining ad nauseum about how they want to sue all sorts of people who looked at them funny, sold them a crappy car, blah, blah, blah, [if i had a rubber mallett for every crazy id like to pummel...] but i also had a few other "interesting" messages.
One was from a lawyer who says he has been doing family law for 15 years. After confirming that he was sending some documents i requested from him... he said [and i quote, im actually typing his message verbatim]
...honestly, though, I looked you up on the Lawyer Search. You are young, you are new to this. You've only been called for a year. Get the Hell out of family law. Its horrible. I wouldnt wish my life on anyone. There are crazy people out there. And they will find a way to your office.
Uhhhhh....okay.
My next message was from the mother of one of my clients. She lives in another province and i am having a hard ass time trying to get her son custody of his daughter. Her son knows what an uphill battle i have had and how much work Ive put into this file. However.... Mom calls me and rants for 10 minutes about how useless i am and how she
"knows i am quite happy to sit back and do nothing while her granddaughter is being molested and have the nerve to bill her thousands of dollars because i am that sick".
Now i think i should call that elder family lawyer and ask him whatelse he can see in his crystal ball.
[pic made with program i was hooked up with on Camo girl's site]
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Sicky Sickerson
As a result of wearing hotpants in the winter weather and other less than healthy activities i have been taking part in as of late, I seem to be dying of some horrible cold-like [which is likely a cold] illness.
The only upside has been that i had some very funky dreams last night: one where I won the first cycle of America's Next Top Model and another where i came to work and found everyone wearing matching sweatsuits and playing dodgeball.
I have a big meeting this afternoon. Thats the only reason im here. After its done, Im going to sleep in my office. I have already built my nest out of coats, plastic bags, and my suit jackets. Cozy.
The only upside has been that i had some very funky dreams last night: one where I won the first cycle of America's Next Top Model and another where i came to work and found everyone wearing matching sweatsuits and playing dodgeball.
I have a big meeting this afternoon. Thats the only reason im here. After its done, Im going to sleep in my office. I have already built my nest out of coats, plastic bags, and my suit jackets. Cozy.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Monday Monday
After the weekend i had, this comic [from dieselsweeties] made me laugh hysterically
[click on it to make it bigger]
Today my Jer starts his new job at Canada Post. He was a temporary mail carrying dude before...and now he is a permanent part time plant worker. We are excited about him having benefits and job security...but very sad about the hours: 6 pm to 2 am. I usually leave the house at 815 am and get back at 545. Yeah. So we'll spend the next year or so only seeing each other when we accidentally wake each other up when we come home or leave. Ug. We'll still have weekends though. And it could be worse. But im still real sad about it.
I have pics from Saturday's party and will post them later. Maybe I should save it for HNT...those hotpants were pretty short and all...
[click on it to make it bigger]
Today my Jer starts his new job at Canada Post. He was a temporary mail carrying dude before...and now he is a permanent part time plant worker. We are excited about him having benefits and job security...but very sad about the hours: 6 pm to 2 am. I usually leave the house at 815 am and get back at 545. Yeah. So we'll spend the next year or so only seeing each other when we accidentally wake each other up when we come home or leave. Ug. We'll still have weekends though. And it could be worse. But im still real sad about it.
I have pics from Saturday's party and will post them later. Maybe I should save it for HNT...those hotpants were pretty short and all...
Sunday, November 27, 2005
juicys world: 2AM and under the influence
Things i am realizing at 200 in the morning:
- the light in the home office doubles as a pole dancing pole
- curry burps smell bad...well actually, they smell like curry
-i still dont like this mac. give me a pc. a pc a pc my kingdom for a pc
- its not hot pant weather outside [ we had a hip hop old skool party and i wore hotpants, knee socks, adidas, and a shirt that read "bling bling"...we got a limo and rode around the city drinking champagne and ummmm....taking some candy...im still a little fuggered from it. at one point, while dancing at the bar i though i was dying; i thought "oh shit. here we go. im od'ing in a bar. real nice, juicy, real nice." but i was ok. i just needed some oxygen [the good ole 0 -2 in the hizzouse] and i was a-ok.
-iforgot what this post was about...just a sec.
-yes. its 2 in the A-m. tomorrow is grey cup sunday. woot. go eskies! my oilers won on friday. i was at the game. there was much wooting to be heard.
- really love my jer. hes sleepin. shhhh.
-ok. im done. gonna watch some late night tv. hope there are some good infomercials. i like the ones about food preparation devices [ronco food dehydrater? oh yes.] and the 'get fit in 6 days' ones.
- the light in the home office doubles as a pole dancing pole
- curry burps smell bad...well actually, they smell like curry
-i still dont like this mac. give me a pc. a pc a pc my kingdom for a pc
- its not hot pant weather outside [ we had a hip hop old skool party and i wore hotpants, knee socks, adidas, and a shirt that read "bling bling"...we got a limo and rode around the city drinking champagne and ummmm....taking some candy...im still a little fuggered from it. at one point, while dancing at the bar i though i was dying; i thought "oh shit. here we go. im od'ing in a bar. real nice, juicy, real nice." but i was ok. i just needed some oxygen [the good ole 0 -2 in the hizzouse] and i was a-ok.
-iforgot what this post was about...just a sec.
-yes. its 2 in the A-m. tomorrow is grey cup sunday. woot. go eskies! my oilers won on friday. i was at the game. there was much wooting to be heard.
- really love my jer. hes sleepin. shhhh.
-ok. im done. gonna watch some late night tv. hope there are some good infomercials. i like the ones about food preparation devices [ronco food dehydrater? oh yes.] and the 'get fit in 6 days' ones.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
HNT the 8th: Belly o Rama
Jer took this picture. He absolutely loves my belly. The big brown dot is my mole which I have nicknamed "the doorbell".
BTW I took a bunch of new pics but am having a bitch trying to download them onto my computer. I miss my laptop.
Have a happy HNT everyone! [click on HNT there for more info-->]
BTW I took a bunch of new pics but am having a bitch trying to download them onto my computer. I miss my laptop.
Have a happy HNT everyone! [click on HNT there for more info-->]
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
While you all get sleepy on Turkey/shop for the holidays/ continue working because you arent actually American...
Just a reminder that if you want Non-denominational seasonal cards which do not promote the birth of any baby from some Chick named Mary or gifts which do not reference a specific cultural or religious group [lets be safe and just not offend anyone] drop me an email at the email addy directly to the right (its new!)-->
However, if you want cards that are as offensive as possible...also let me know. Ive been saving this baby for a while...
However, if you want cards that are as offensive as possible...also let me know. Ive been saving this baby for a while...
Juicy's American Citizenship Application
Its totally busy here today...its nice outside...and im getting increasingly annoyed with clients. I usually laugh at people who suggest this, but for today, if it will get me a short week of work and let me play outside... I want Alberta to separate from Canada and join the US.
And Im not alone: The Separation Party of Alberta Of course, they are crazy, anti-nationalist ( and usually anti-francaphone), and "christian" ( i use that term in the fundamentalist sense) and I just want to sleep in tomorrow. But for 2 days off, hell, Im in.
Those of you who arent that familiar with Alberta...we are kinda the Texas of Canada. We have lotsa oil, lotsa money, and lotsa people who think that although we are just a part of Canada, we are the "best" part. ( not to insult those in Texas by comparing them to Alberta...sorry dudes)
Most people in Alberta are staunch supporters of right wing politicians ( the exception being my beloved Edmonton which is the only place that votes for more centre-left parties. Oh Etown how i love you.), "family values" (whatever the fuck that means), and owning guns. When I lived in BC and Saskatchewan (both very left wing politically) I was constantly made fun of for being from Alberta. The usual joke was "Hey! Where's your gun?!"
Many Albertans believe that Canada "owes" them something. That they keep Canada running, but see nothing in return. I admit I am a federalist. I have no problem with Alberta sending shitloads of oil revenues to Ottawa so that people in other less wealthy provinces can also go to school, go to the doctors, and afford gasoline. Why? Because its a country, and thats what parts of a country do. Unlike Quebec that wanted to leave over cultural and language differences... we are just in it for the money. Alberta is a jerk. Hes a bully. Give me what i want or im holding back the cash. It reminds me of dead beat dads who purposively take a job with shittier wages just to pay less child support. [ although we have ways of dealing with you jackasses]....
Fuck, lookit me rant. Anyhoo. I am about to send in my membership for separation. I am declaring myself American and I am sleeping in tomorrow. ( but sorry guys, Im bringing Canada's beer with me)
And Im not alone: The Separation Party of Alberta Of course, they are crazy, anti-nationalist ( and usually anti-francaphone), and "christian" ( i use that term in the fundamentalist sense) and I just want to sleep in tomorrow. But for 2 days off, hell, Im in.
Those of you who arent that familiar with Alberta...we are kinda the Texas of Canada. We have lotsa oil, lotsa money, and lotsa people who think that although we are just a part of Canada, we are the "best" part. ( not to insult those in Texas by comparing them to Alberta...sorry dudes)
Most people in Alberta are staunch supporters of right wing politicians ( the exception being my beloved Edmonton which is the only place that votes for more centre-left parties. Oh Etown how i love you.), "family values" (whatever the fuck that means), and owning guns. When I lived in BC and Saskatchewan (both very left wing politically) I was constantly made fun of for being from Alberta. The usual joke was "Hey! Where's your gun?!"
Many Albertans believe that Canada "owes" them something. That they keep Canada running, but see nothing in return. I admit I am a federalist. I have no problem with Alberta sending shitloads of oil revenues to Ottawa so that people in other less wealthy provinces can also go to school, go to the doctors, and afford gasoline. Why? Because its a country, and thats what parts of a country do. Unlike Quebec that wanted to leave over cultural and language differences... we are just in it for the money. Alberta is a jerk. Hes a bully. Give me what i want or im holding back the cash. It reminds me of dead beat dads who purposively take a job with shittier wages just to pay less child support. [ although we have ways of dealing with you jackasses]....
Fuck, lookit me rant. Anyhoo. I am about to send in my membership for separation. I am declaring myself American and I am sleeping in tomorrow. ( but sorry guys, Im bringing Canada's beer with me)
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Its Slurpee weather
Current temperature: 20 degrees celcius [ thats 68 Farenheit]. Its not beginning to look like Christmas. Its beginning to look like flip flop weather.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Remembering Van City
I, for the most part, don't talk about my time in Vancouver. Sure, the odd anecdote from my days at the Department of Immigration, of me and Weener taking e on my 25th Bday, and the odd mention of the shows I saw there...but thats about it.
Today, for some odd reason, Im really missing the place and some of my friends who live there right now [but no, not my ex]. I only lived there 4 months, but it was a pretty eye-opening time in my life. I pretty much was out of control for the whole time there... constantly drunk/on drugs/in the midst of some sexual escapade. I got my first tattoo, started loving rock n roll and punk music, ate sushi daily and started the now infamous 'hump attack'all in the span of the one summer.
I just googled some of my fave memories from Van city:
The call it 93 cent pizza...but its a lie. Its actually a dollar once you add the GST. Once, while really wasted i stood outside the 93 cent pizza place on Commercial Drive and yelled at everyone who walked past "93 cents MY ASS!" From then on, whenever I walked by a pizza place in Van, someone would have to yell that.
I lived on Hastings and Commercial Drive. We referred to ourselves as the "East Van Allstars". Google "Hastings" and you will likely see thousands of pages about the heroin and crack problem on said street. Im not going to lie to you, its a pretty scary place. Picture 50 junkies all standing on a street corner. Some are yelling, some are shooting up, some have blacked out. Somedays it reminded me of a post-apocalytic movie. This was my neighbourhood. To "deal" with it, I made up little songs about the junkies, or tried to "out crazy" them so they would think i was more fucked up than they were and leave me alone.
This is commercial drive... pretty cool place actually. Imagine punks, skids, and lesbian couples with their Chinese adopted daughters. Shopping for antiques, comic books, sex toys and ice cream.
[This one is actually of me...cool huh?]
Library Square is where I worked. Pretty cool place, actually. I think it was in an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (the 6th day, i think it was called) and some other movie where Lucy Liu fought Antonio Banderas.
And finally, my fave watering hole...The 50 Bourbon I wont go into the hijinks there...but i think it was the only bar I wasnt kicked out of that summer. We called the place the "No teeth Bar" because there were few patrons who went there that still had all their teeth... we also renamed some of the staff: there was Sheroin [the bartender named Sharon who was really scary and skinny], tie belt [a girl who always wore ties for belts]and "Gunt" [a girl with a stomach that reached her...well, you can guess] Some of my other faves were the Cobalt and the Brickyard-- both punk places that were pretty scary.
Today, for some odd reason, Im really missing the place and some of my friends who live there right now [but no, not my ex]. I only lived there 4 months, but it was a pretty eye-opening time in my life. I pretty much was out of control for the whole time there... constantly drunk/on drugs/in the midst of some sexual escapade. I got my first tattoo, started loving rock n roll and punk music, ate sushi daily and started the now infamous 'hump attack'all in the span of the one summer.
I just googled some of my fave memories from Van city:
The call it 93 cent pizza...but its a lie. Its actually a dollar once you add the GST. Once, while really wasted i stood outside the 93 cent pizza place on Commercial Drive and yelled at everyone who walked past "93 cents MY ASS!" From then on, whenever I walked by a pizza place in Van, someone would have to yell that.
I lived on Hastings and Commercial Drive. We referred to ourselves as the "East Van Allstars". Google "Hastings" and you will likely see thousands of pages about the heroin and crack problem on said street. Im not going to lie to you, its a pretty scary place. Picture 50 junkies all standing on a street corner. Some are yelling, some are shooting up, some have blacked out. Somedays it reminded me of a post-apocalytic movie. This was my neighbourhood. To "deal" with it, I made up little songs about the junkies, or tried to "out crazy" them so they would think i was more fucked up than they were and leave me alone.
This is commercial drive... pretty cool place actually. Imagine punks, skids, and lesbian couples with their Chinese adopted daughters. Shopping for antiques, comic books, sex toys and ice cream.
[This one is actually of me...cool huh?]
Library Square is where I worked. Pretty cool place, actually. I think it was in an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (the 6th day, i think it was called) and some other movie where Lucy Liu fought Antonio Banderas.
And finally, my fave watering hole...The 50 Bourbon I wont go into the hijinks there...but i think it was the only bar I wasnt kicked out of that summer. We called the place the "No teeth Bar" because there were few patrons who went there that still had all their teeth... we also renamed some of the staff: there was Sheroin [the bartender named Sharon who was really scary and skinny], tie belt [a girl who always wore ties for belts]and "Gunt" [a girl with a stomach that reached her...well, you can guess] Some of my other faves were the Cobalt and the Brickyard-- both punk places that were pretty scary.
But can ya use it in a sentence?
Mere moments after bugging my assistant for using a word that i dont think really was a word, and making her use it in a sentence...I encountered this on the word verifcation on my blog: fuknbrat.
After laughing hysterically over the fact that i just got in trouble from blogger for being a jackass, I thought that this may be a fun new game... use your word verification word in a sentence.
Fuknbrat: A superior who doubts your word choice, laughs at you, and then makes you use it in a sentence.
Juicy usually is a pretty good boss, but lately she is a fuknbrat.
[okay, i wasnt laughing at her...but it was a funny word... "abeyancing"?!]
After laughing hysterically over the fact that i just got in trouble from blogger for being a jackass, I thought that this may be a fun new game... use your word verification word in a sentence.
Fuknbrat: A superior who doubts your word choice, laughs at you, and then makes you use it in a sentence.
Juicy usually is a pretty good boss, but lately she is a fuknbrat.
[okay, i wasnt laughing at her...but it was a funny word... "abeyancing"?!]
First Runner Up
Okay, Okay, I didnt win bloggin' hottie of the month. All I can say if the winner TRULY DID have 205 people vote for her...congrats. No Im not insinuating that she cheated, but I really dont know how I even mananged to have so many people legally vote for me. 
I had BIG plans if i was voted as BHOTM...but thats ok. I dont blame you, dear readers, so no hard feelings.
I guess if she who won cannot fulfill her duties...blah blah blah... whatever.
On a lighter note, the Edmonton Eskimos are going to the Grey Cup. I really dont watch the CFL, but its still kinda cool to have the home team in the championship. Go Eskies!
I went and saw this movie on the weekend: Grizzly Man. It was interesting, tragic, and made me fear bears more now than ever.
I also watched the first season of the US version of the Office. Really funny. The first 3 episodes are almost word for word the same as the UK version. I think Im in love with the Jim/Tim character.
I had BIG plans if i was voted as BHOTM...but thats ok. I dont blame you, dear readers, so no hard feelings.
I guess if she who won cannot fulfill her duties...blah blah blah... whatever.
On a lighter note, the Edmonton Eskimos are going to the Grey Cup. I really dont watch the CFL, but its still kinda cool to have the home team in the championship. Go Eskies!
I went and saw this movie on the weekend: Grizzly Man. It was interesting, tragic, and made me fear bears more now than ever.
I also watched the first season of the US version of the Office. Really funny. The first 3 episodes are almost word for word the same as the UK version. I think Im in love with the Jim/Tim character.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Juicy's X-mas wishlist...
LIBERACE
Mr. Showmanship
Auction is for a brand new life-size standup of Liberace in hot pants.
Great item for any Liberace fan. This is a life-size cut out standee. You can display this collectors item as a giant poster or as free standing lifesize art.
Our life-size celebrity stand ups are great for any room or party. These are truly a special collectors item for any fan. All of our stand ups are fully licensed high quality merchandise.
Well...Christmas IS coming
I love when real life and rap mix
Guys, take advice from Kanye...and consult a family lawyer today:
18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
WE WANT PRENUP! Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his
(lyrics from Golddigga'...shit, i cant make this crap up...and yes, i do do Prenups)
18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
WE WANT PRENUP! Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his
(lyrics from Golddigga'...shit, i cant make this crap up...and yes, i do do Prenups)
Hatin'
Before I begin my near weekly rant, Im just going to add that its really warm outside. And this is good. Its 12 degrees (53.6 to the Yanks-- arent you proud of me and my converting skills? yeah, i got skills.)at 900 in the AM.
First: I hate hardware stores. Home Depot, Rona, Totem, Homehardware, Canadian Tire, etc. etc. I dont want to ever step in one again. They used to be a place of neverending amusement for me. I used to love tools. I used to love building stuff. But now, I hate it all. Im sick of it. I wish I could go home and watch the Oilers (who won with a triumphant goal in OT by Stoll against the Red Wings last night) game and drink a Caesar, have a bubble bath and then go to bed...and not have to install shelves, build cupboards, seal windows, etc. etc. instead.
Ok. I dont hate Canadian Tire. I have a dowry of approx $90 worth of Canadian Tire Money ready for who ever is the lucky dude to take my hand in marriage. For those who havent seen/heard of Cdn Tire cash... its monopoly-looking money worth anywhere from 1 cent to $2.00 [same as Canadian coins] that you get back from the store when you make a purchase, with the hope you will come back soon and buy more from the store with it. So with such low denominations, you can imagine the size of $90 of it... quite the impressive prize for my lucky hubby.
Recently other businesses have also starting accepting Cdn. Tire money. A bar that we frequent quite often accepts it on Tuesdays. Being able to trade my dowry for beer I think makes me worth more. So ok, Cdn Tire is ok... but i refuse to go to any of the other places. Just say no to hardware.
Second hate: Intolerance. I know I know. Everyone hates this. But i sure have been feeling it a lot lately. From religious "differences" where i feel that everyone expects you to respect their religious or cultural choices...but they wont accept yours...to the fact that i really really hate when i walk into a cool Chinese restaurant (with such things as Wintermelon soup, fish maw, and red bean paste buns on the menu) and they tell us about the ginger beef and sweet and sour pork. Just because Im white doesnt mean that im only there for the shitty americanized food-- you'd be pissed if you came into my waffle house...and i told you about the rice.
There is no way for me to change this. I guess I have to just somehow put up with it. But its making me pissy that i have to be so tolerant of everyone else...and that I'll never get it in return.
Third: Im pissed at my friends. Especially the ones who live in Calgary. I feel im always chasing them down to do stuff..and they dont do the same for me. The only time i hear from them, it seems, is when they want to go on a spa holiday [ for a deal of only $400 each] or ski vacation [rent your condo today for only 300/week plus airfare] or some sort of lawfirm event that will make me have to make small talk with all the wankers whose asses i kissed to keep a job that i really hated. What ever happened to dinner and drinks? Lunch and a beer? I feel that because they all have been sucked into this downtown yuppie sex in the city atmosphere [ and i have done everything to stay out of it] Ive kinda lost my connection with them. They all make 6 figures and live in overpriced condos. Im 3000 into my overdraft and wonder how Im going to afford groceries next week.
Ok I think Im done. I got the rants out. Remember to send me yer addy if you want a christmas card or goodie. Some people ( Lulu, CBK ) Im talking to you.
First: I hate hardware stores. Home Depot, Rona, Totem, Homehardware, Canadian Tire, etc. etc. I dont want to ever step in one again. They used to be a place of neverending amusement for me. I used to love tools. I used to love building stuff. But now, I hate it all. Im sick of it. I wish I could go home and watch the Oilers (who won with a triumphant goal in OT by Stoll against the Red Wings last night) game and drink a Caesar, have a bubble bath and then go to bed...and not have to install shelves, build cupboards, seal windows, etc. etc. instead.
Ok. I dont hate Canadian Tire. I have a dowry of approx $90 worth of Canadian Tire Money ready for who ever is the lucky dude to take my hand in marriage. For those who havent seen/heard of Cdn Tire cash... its monopoly-looking money worth anywhere from 1 cent to $2.00 [same as Canadian coins] that you get back from the store when you make a purchase, with the hope you will come back soon and buy more from the store with it. So with such low denominations, you can imagine the size of $90 of it... quite the impressive prize for my lucky hubby.
Recently other businesses have also starting accepting Cdn. Tire money. A bar that we frequent quite often accepts it on Tuesdays. Being able to trade my dowry for beer I think makes me worth more. So ok, Cdn Tire is ok... but i refuse to go to any of the other places. Just say no to hardware.
Second hate: Intolerance. I know I know. Everyone hates this. But i sure have been feeling it a lot lately. From religious "differences" where i feel that everyone expects you to respect their religious or cultural choices...but they wont accept yours...to the fact that i really really hate when i walk into a cool Chinese restaurant (with such things as Wintermelon soup, fish maw, and red bean paste buns on the menu) and they tell us about the ginger beef and sweet and sour pork. Just because Im white doesnt mean that im only there for the shitty americanized food-- you'd be pissed if you came into my waffle house...and i told you about the rice.
There is no way for me to change this. I guess I have to just somehow put up with it. But its making me pissy that i have to be so tolerant of everyone else...and that I'll never get it in return.
Third: Im pissed at my friends. Especially the ones who live in Calgary. I feel im always chasing them down to do stuff..and they dont do the same for me. The only time i hear from them, it seems, is when they want to go on a spa holiday [ for a deal of only $400 each] or ski vacation [rent your condo today for only 300/week plus airfare] or some sort of lawfirm event that will make me have to make small talk with all the wankers whose asses i kissed to keep a job that i really hated. What ever happened to dinner and drinks? Lunch and a beer? I feel that because they all have been sucked into this downtown yuppie sex in the city atmosphere [ and i have done everything to stay out of it] Ive kinda lost my connection with them. They all make 6 figures and live in overpriced condos. Im 3000 into my overdraft and wonder how Im going to afford groceries next week.
Ok I think Im done. I got the rants out. Remember to send me yer addy if you want a christmas card or goodie. Some people ( Lulu, CBK ) Im talking to you.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
HNT times two...
So I missed last week because i was at a course. So I decided to post 2 for y'all this week.
Im starting a new series this week: Juicy's Half-Nekkid Around the World Adventures
Today: Amsterdam
Coming from a land of sex, drugs, and debauchery, its not too surprising that I spent a lot of time in the 'Dam stoned and half nekkid. Here are my fave pics.
We felt strangely overdressed in the red light district...and decided to rectify the problem (yes, my friend is showing boob)
I guess all i can say is that i was also inspired by the live sex show...and was a little hungry in the sex museme...
Also if ya have a chance go here and vote for me for Bloggin Hottie of the Month. If selected, I promise to be the hottest blogger you can find ( that doesnt charge $3.99 per minute, of course) and will post for the rest of the month while not wearing any pants.
Im starting a new series this week: Juicy's Half-Nekkid Around the World Adventures
Today: Amsterdam
Coming from a land of sex, drugs, and debauchery, its not too surprising that I spent a lot of time in the 'Dam stoned and half nekkid. Here are my fave pics.
We felt strangely overdressed in the red light district...and decided to rectify the problem (yes, my friend is showing boob)
I guess all i can say is that i was also inspired by the live sex show...and was a little hungry in the sex museme...
Also if ya have a chance go here and vote for me for Bloggin Hottie of the Month. If selected, I promise to be the hottest blogger you can find ( that doesnt charge $3.99 per minute, of course) and will post for the rest of the month while not wearing any pants.
A lesson in Geography
I was looking at stat counter today, and saw that there are people looking at me from all over the world... and i was like, Hey! Do I know someone is Rhode Island? Brisbane, Aus? Tennessee? So i gots one of those map things. Please, if you are so inclined, put where you is at. ( i havent figured out how to put it on my sidebar yet)
Map Thingy
Oh, and I have decided i will send out Christmas cards to any readers who want them. Ya see, I really wont get to celebrate Christmas this year ( see: Jewish, Boyfriend who is) and I need an outlet to explode my festive spirit. Send yer addies to my email address. [ lets use firewhenready at hotmail dot com... my old internet dating email address to prevent too many sickos.]
Map Thingy
Oh, and I have decided i will send out Christmas cards to any readers who want them. Ya see, I really wont get to celebrate Christmas this year ( see: Jewish, Boyfriend who is) and I need an outlet to explode my festive spirit. Send yer addies to my email address. [ lets use firewhenready at hotmail dot com... my old internet dating email address to prevent too many sickos.]
A letter to the editor
Richard O'Gorman, President CBA Alberta, sent the following letter to the editor of the Edmonton Journal. This was in response to an inappropriate reference to lawyers being recreational drug users that appeared in the Edmonton Journal on Friday, November 11, 2005.
JuicyA, lawyer, mediator, and recreational drug user, sent the following to the editor of the Edmonton Journal also in response to an reference to lawyers being recreational drug users.
ps... Running out of days to vote for me as blogging hottie.... in response to "someone" who suggested i was encouraging cheating... well, if you are I stick my fingers in my ears, LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU... I aint no Tonya Harding. I dont need no cheating to win. But if youi do cheat, I know nothing of it.
The anti-lawyer jibe was groundless and inaccurate. Lawyers give back to our community in many ways. We visit high schools, provide public education seminars, and answer questions about the justice system during Law Day, to name just a few.
JuicyA, lawyer, mediator, and recreational drug user, sent the following to the editor of the Edmonton Journal also in response to an reference to lawyers being recreational drug users.
Dude, fuck. You try listening to these people whine and bitch and yell all the time and tell me that you dont just wanna get baked? Just a sec **inaudible bong noise**. Right what was I saying....lawyers are...hey are those sandwiches?
ps... Running out of days to vote for me as blogging hottie.... in response to "someone" who suggested i was encouraging cheating... well, if you are I stick my fingers in my ears, LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU... I aint no Tonya Harding. I dont need no cheating to win. But if youi do cheat, I know nothing of it.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Oh Google...you slay me!
Newest search engine terms that apparently will bring you to The Intersection of 13 and 13...
- gemini tattoo [yes... i have spoken of and shown this]
- "pantyless" and "pantiless" [uh... i dont know when those came up...but apparently i believe that both spelling variations are correct]
- "a bar named sue, calgary" [i threw up on the door there...and promptly blogged about it. i sure hope the owner wasnt googling his own bar's name. if so, dude, im sorry... I cant hold my jager sometimes]
- "hot sluts" [say what?!... but if you agree that i am, in fact, a hot slut let these guys know by voting for me...]
and my personal fave....
- "my grandmother's cunt" [ya lost me... at no time did i speak of this...nor do i plan on in the future.... but more importantly, who wants to see this? If you are here to see pictures of my gramma's holiest of holies, you are about to be sadly dissappointed. Maybe i should put a disclaimer on my site: Im sorry. There is no granny porn on this site.]
- gemini tattoo [yes... i have spoken of and shown this]
- "pantyless" and "pantiless" [uh... i dont know when those came up...but apparently i believe that both spelling variations are correct]
- "a bar named sue, calgary" [i threw up on the door there...and promptly blogged about it. i sure hope the owner wasnt googling his own bar's name. if so, dude, im sorry... I cant hold my jager sometimes]
- "hot sluts" [say what?!... but if you agree that i am, in fact, a hot slut let these guys know by voting for me...]
and my personal fave....
- "my grandmother's cunt" [ya lost me... at no time did i speak of this...nor do i plan on in the future.... but more importantly, who wants to see this? If you are here to see pictures of my gramma's holiest of holies, you are about to be sadly dissappointed. Maybe i should put a disclaimer on my site: Im sorry. There is no granny porn on this site.]
Only slightly bullshit test
Wow... no wonder Im in the running for blogging hottie of the month.
( Yes, I will beg for your votes... i want to be the top tart of the tartwagon!)
anyone who knows me knows that im actually very easily attached to boys...and relationships are my thing. Blame it on my dual personality...
( Yes, I will beg for your votes... i want to be the top tart of the tartwagon!)
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: juicya58 |
anyone who knows me knows that im actually very easily attached to boys...and relationships are my thing. Blame it on my dual personality...
Monday, November 14, 2005
Help me stroke my ego!
vote for me as blogn hottie of the month! C'mon. Ya know ya want to! I'd do it for you!
Smartass title not necessary
I go to Engrish everyday... sometimes the pics are just sort of amusing. Sometimes they are funny. And sometimes you just want to say whhhaaaat the faaack?.
You are such a squirt? Is that a good thing?
[clicky to make bigger]
Juicy has not been negecting her blog (and other jedi mind tricks)
Phew.
Nothing like a five day holiday from work that makes you more tired and further behind in your files.
The skinny on the mediation training: Yes, its official. I am now Juicy A, barrister, solicitor and CERTIFIED MEDIATOR!. Woot! I really enjoyed the training and, I can admit, I dont think i have ever been more excited about something work related as i am now. I think I really have the knack for mediating disputes ( my instructors actually said that to me) and if it was totally up to me, Id become more skilled in mediation and pretty much throw the lawyering thing out the window.
Of course, I still need to pay my bills. So I'll prolly just start doing mediation now as much as i can and hope that i can focus more of my practice on it than actual case work.
I could blather about the benefits of mediation now...and why its so much better than court work, but i dont want to bore you. Lemme just suggest that if you need a lawyer, suggest mediation to them instead of litigation. It may work better and a lot of people would rather solve their own problems than having a judge impose them on them. [Juicy now gets off her soapbox, kicks it under the desk and resumes typing]
So, Im back. Sorry for missing the HNT but I still cant figure out Jer's stupid mac works. I was 20 minutes late for class on Thurs because i was doing battle with it. Maybe I'll post 2 this week.
Nothing like a five day holiday from work that makes you more tired and further behind in your files.
The skinny on the mediation training: Yes, its official. I am now Juicy A, barrister, solicitor and CERTIFIED MEDIATOR!. Woot! I really enjoyed the training and, I can admit, I dont think i have ever been more excited about something work related as i am now. I think I really have the knack for mediating disputes ( my instructors actually said that to me) and if it was totally up to me, Id become more skilled in mediation and pretty much throw the lawyering thing out the window.
Of course, I still need to pay my bills. So I'll prolly just start doing mediation now as much as i can and hope that i can focus more of my practice on it than actual case work.
I could blather about the benefits of mediation now...and why its so much better than court work, but i dont want to bore you. Lemme just suggest that if you need a lawyer, suggest mediation to them instead of litigation. It may work better and a lot of people would rather solve their own problems than having a judge impose them on them. [Juicy now gets off her soapbox, kicks it under the desk and resumes typing]
So, Im back. Sorry for missing the HNT but I still cant figure out Jer's stupid mac works. I was 20 minutes late for class on Thurs because i was doing battle with it. Maybe I'll post 2 this week.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
More shameless self promotion
Hello New Friend, Did you find me thru Self-Potrait Day? That picture of me is prolly the worst I have ever taken... its from this night and I was pretty wasted.
Go here if you want some of the skinny on yours truly
This was a funny post. I like talking about poo.
Here is a picture of my butt.
Welcome and stuff!
Dear crazy people,
While you think i am intently listening to your blather about what person/corporation/country you want to sue... i am actually playing this...
Tobby
Sincerely,
Juicy A
Lawyer-chick-who-dont-give-a-fuck-to-tha-extreme
(If anyone can figure out how to get Tobby to the second level, can they please tell me? I think hes starting to take it personally that i kill him so often.)
Tobby
Sincerely,
Juicy A
Lawyer-chick-who-dont-give-a-fuck-to-tha-extreme
(If anyone can figure out how to get Tobby to the second level, can they please tell me? I think hes starting to take it personally that i kill him so often.)
Monday, November 07, 2005
Who wants a roadtrip to Vanderbilt, TN?
And lets stay here...
Days Inn Review
My fave review:
Seriously... this place looks too good to be true...
[I cant remember who i stole this from... found it on Saturday when buggering around, if i stole it from your site, big props y'all]
Days Inn Review
My fave review:
I was afraid to get in the bed, the sheets had a blood stain that had been half-heartedly bleached out, and when I dropped a pen and looked under the bed for it I noticed a blood stain on the carpet which made me come to the conclusion that someone committed a murder in that very bed.
I didn't know hotels could be so scary and disgusting and not be an actual brothel or halfway house.
Seriously... this place looks too good to be true...
[I cant remember who i stole this from... found it on Saturday when buggering around, if i stole it from your site, big props y'all]
Another week, another post of bitching...
[ Well, not really, but somehow i always seem to be more negative in my posts on Mondays]
Arg. Its getting colder out there. I dont like it.
Another weekend of pretty much doing nothing. Yesterday I flipped channels between the Matrix trilogy and Robocop trilogy all day. ( I was seriously geeking out) I was both pretending to be a cyborg AND doing some seriously wikked mua thai/karate/ jiu jitsu/ whatever the hell Carrie Ann Moss does in the Matrix.
The house is finally starting to look like a place worth living in. Almost all of the rooms are box free now, and I didnt have to spend twenty minutes looking thru piles of shit to locate an outfit for work. Things were actually hung up. [gasp!]
I have short work week this week... sadly not because Im taking a vacation or anything, but because Im taking mediation training. Y'know in Wedding Crashers, how Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson [uh-oh losing train of thought....thinking about being in a Vince and Owen sandwich...droooool....running away to Fiji with them...living in a little love hut on the beach....Right. Where was I? oh yeah...] they played mediators in that movie. Thats what Im taking training in. It means being away from the office on Wednesday [good], Thursday [good], Friday [bad-- its a holiday], Saturday [very bad], and Sunday [holy fuck, dude, thats the whole weekend bad]. And its from 830 to 630 all friggin 5 days. [bad] But my company paid for me to take it, it costs a small fortune to take it, and they are very excited that im going. [good-- it means job security].
So the point of this post [yes...there was one] was to say im pretty busy the next few days and even busier after that... so I may be a little shy on posting over the next while.
Now, if you dont mind, Im going to look into those tickets to Fiji.
Arg. Its getting colder out there. I dont like it.
Another weekend of pretty much doing nothing. Yesterday I flipped channels between the Matrix trilogy and Robocop trilogy all day. ( I was seriously geeking out) I was both pretending to be a cyborg AND doing some seriously wikked mua thai/karate/ jiu jitsu/ whatever the hell Carrie Ann Moss does in the Matrix.
The house is finally starting to look like a place worth living in. Almost all of the rooms are box free now, and I didnt have to spend twenty minutes looking thru piles of shit to locate an outfit for work. Things were actually hung up. [gasp!]
I have short work week this week... sadly not because Im taking a vacation or anything, but because Im taking mediation training. Y'know in Wedding Crashers, how Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson [uh-oh losing train of thought....thinking about being in a Vince and Owen sandwich...droooool....running away to Fiji with them...living in a little love hut on the beach....Right. Where was I? oh yeah...] they played mediators in that movie. Thats what Im taking training in. It means being away from the office on Wednesday [good], Thursday [good], Friday [bad-- its a holiday], Saturday [very bad], and Sunday [holy fuck, dude, thats the whole weekend bad]. And its from 830 to 630 all friggin 5 days. [bad] But my company paid for me to take it, it costs a small fortune to take it, and they are very excited that im going. [good-- it means job security].
So the point of this post [yes...there was one] was to say im pretty busy the next few days and even busier after that... so I may be a little shy on posting over the next while.
Now, if you dont mind, Im going to look into those tickets to Fiji.
Friday, November 04, 2005
A Wal mart story
I always see weird shit at Walmart. Im not too sure why. From people in fistfights to kids running around naked, its like its this weird twilight-zone vortex of strange people doing or, as i saw today, saying weird things.
So at lunch hour today I was at Walmart shopping for mouse traps and poison [ yes... this is what my life has become] and this girl in the cleaning products aisle, which was at least 1 or 2 down from me, was having a very loud conversation on her cell phone.... here is an exerpt from said conversation as i heard it:
Well its your fault that he invited me.
Yes. Yes. What? No!
No... Its YOUR fault.. No!!
[silence for approx 2 minutes...]
Well you PRACTICALLY TOLD ME TO FUCK HIM!
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
[burst into sobs]
i [sob] love[sob] you.
[more crying]
YOU FUCK! YOU FUCK! YOU CANT BREAK UP WITH ME!
At this point I had decided to not purchase the mouse traps they had there and began walking out of the store. As I passed the cleaning product aisle I looked and saw a girl, about 15 who was either a lot chunky or a little pregnant sitting on the ground crying into her cell phone. An elderly lady holding a potted plant was at the end of the aisle staring at her blankly.
Im not sure whats worse. Breaking up with someone over the phone...or breaking up while in Wal-Mart on the friggin cell phone and deciding to pretty much announce it to anyone within earshot.
So at lunch hour today I was at Walmart shopping for mouse traps and poison [ yes... this is what my life has become] and this girl in the cleaning products aisle, which was at least 1 or 2 down from me, was having a very loud conversation on her cell phone.... here is an exerpt from said conversation as i heard it:
Well its your fault that he invited me.
Yes. Yes. What? No!
No... Its YOUR fault.. No!!
[silence for approx 2 minutes...]
Well you PRACTICALLY TOLD ME TO FUCK HIM!
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
[burst into sobs]
i [sob] love[sob] you.
[more crying]
YOU FUCK! YOU FUCK! YOU CANT BREAK UP WITH ME!
At this point I had decided to not purchase the mouse traps they had there and began walking out of the store. As I passed the cleaning product aisle I looked and saw a girl, about 15 who was either a lot chunky or a little pregnant sitting on the ground crying into her cell phone. An elderly lady holding a potted plant was at the end of the aisle staring at her blankly.
Im not sure whats worse. Breaking up with someone over the phone...or breaking up while in Wal-Mart on the friggin cell phone and deciding to pretty much announce it to anyone within earshot.
Taking the online persona to the streets...
So last night I met long time commenter and person on my blogroll CBK in person here in Calgary.
If you've been to his site, then you will know that he was easily reconizable by his feet. Haha! (And yes, CBK Jr. looks a lot like him.)
It was cool to take the online persona (which, yes, is the exact same persona as the 'live' juicy...but maybe you should ask him about that...) to the streets and meet someone who i seem to communicate with on an almost daily basis. I was a little worried that I may not live up to my hype... I mean I didnt get wasted, puke, and then proceed to hump a bunch of things.
Im now kinda excited about meeting other people... so if you find yourself in Calgary, drop me a line.
If you've been to his site, then you will know that he was easily reconizable by his feet. Haha! (And yes, CBK Jr. looks a lot like him.)
It was cool to take the online persona (which, yes, is the exact same persona as the 'live' juicy...but maybe you should ask him about that...) to the streets and meet someone who i seem to communicate with on an almost daily basis. I was a little worried that I may not live up to my hype... I mean I didnt get wasted, puke, and then proceed to hump a bunch of things.
Im now kinda excited about meeting other people... so if you find yourself in Calgary, drop me a line.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Reflections of a Thursday
[note: i spelled "thursday" correctly for this post... me like goood speeling.]
I think I may have to give up HNT.
Nobody loves gettin nakers more than me. Nobody likes taking pictures of herself while in various stages of undress more than me... but its just that my work suffers too much when I put up the pic, start commenting and looking at others' pics, and then check back approx. 18,000 times to see if i have new comments. [those who understand lawyer-speak, Ive only billed 3-4 hrs for the last few thursdays...as compared to 6-8hrs for most regular days]
Maybe I'll just participate every two weeks [unlikely]... or maybe Ill try to learn self control and not keep checking back for the near euphoric joy that i have a new comment... [highly unlikely]...or maybe i stop all blogging when at work [very uber mega highly unlikely].
I useda be like this when i was addicted to internet dating. I would check lavalife, match.com, yahoo personals about 30 times a day to see if i had any new winks/smiles/messages. Actually, the thing that broke that addiction was blogging.
Well, fuck. I dont know. Maybe I could try something else to break my blog addiction... online gaming? internet porn? cyber stalking? Hell, I guess it could be worse.
I guess if this is my last HNT, well, dont cry for me Argentina. Good-bye and god speed all you little half-nudists. If I decide to come back next week, then maybe i can be like Cher and have a never ending "farewell tour".
I think I may have to give up HNT.
Nobody loves gettin nakers more than me. Nobody likes taking pictures of herself while in various stages of undress more than me... but its just that my work suffers too much when I put up the pic, start commenting and looking at others' pics, and then check back approx. 18,000 times to see if i have new comments. [those who understand lawyer-speak, Ive only billed 3-4 hrs for the last few thursdays...as compared to 6-8hrs for most regular days]
Maybe I'll just participate every two weeks [unlikely]... or maybe Ill try to learn self control and not keep checking back for the near euphoric joy that i have a new comment... [highly unlikely]...or maybe i stop all blogging when at work [very uber mega highly unlikely].
I useda be like this when i was addicted to internet dating. I would check lavalife, match.com, yahoo personals about 30 times a day to see if i had any new winks/smiles/messages. Actually, the thing that broke that addiction was blogging.
Well, fuck. I dont know. Maybe I could try something else to break my blog addiction... online gaming? internet porn? cyber stalking? Hell, I guess it could be worse.
I guess if this is my last HNT, well, dont cry for me Argentina. Good-bye and god speed all you little half-nudists. If I decide to come back next week, then maybe i can be like Cher and have a never ending "farewell tour".
Half-Nekkid Thurdsay: Beauty Marks
The real title to this pic should be: "really-drunk-self-potrait-while-nude-and-sitting-on-the-toilet-after-I-puked"... but somehow, it doesnt have the style and panache of my past entries.
The pic itself is pretty good, especially for one taken on such an intoxicated night. Its my shoulder, cheek, and chin...but why i really like it is that it also shows my 'beauty mark' [a fancy term for a mole] on the corner of my mouth.
When I was a kid, grown-ups would tell me that i had chocolate on my mouth...and then proceed to scrub the shit out of my face. (Usually by doing the old mom trick of licking the towel and then scrubbing. Ug.) I have sadly had face cloth burn many a time.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Giving the people what they want
I just found out that people have come to my blog by googling the term "cartoon breasts".
Now, here at the Intersection of 13 and 13, we dont like people to come here and be disappointed. If people want cartoon boobs.... here you go....
No this is not a self portrait.
Hmmm. Maybe i shoulda saved this for tomorrow for my HNT...
Now, here at the Intersection of 13 and 13, we dont like people to come here and be disappointed. If people want cartoon boobs.... here you go....
No this is not a self portrait.
Hmmm. Maybe i shoulda saved this for tomorrow for my HNT...
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Another meme
Instructions are as follows:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same
Post #23 is.... here
And sadly, line #5 is.... "Its the number of people you've slept with. "
Golly
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same
Post #23 is.... here
And sadly, line #5 is.... "Its the number of people you've slept with. "
Golly
That picture meme that all the kids are raving about...
Stole this from about everyone i know... While Im not working, matters as well blog some more.
The gist is, you answer the Q's by putting the answers into Google images and then taking the first (or best) picture for the A. Get it? Steal it if yas like, I dont like passing these memes around too much....
1. I grew up in
2. Now I live in
3. My name is
[and boy, there are NOT alot of celebrities with the same name. Lotsa peoples grandma's though. And everyone seems to be blonde!]
4. My Grandmother's name is
5. My fave foods are
[ hard to pick, so i gave top 3]
6. Fave drink is
[its a Canadian thing... you may have to look it up]
7. Fave song is
8. Fave smell is
The gist is, you answer the Q's by putting the answers into Google images and then taking the first (or best) picture for the A. Get it? Steal it if yas like, I dont like passing these memes around too much....
1. I grew up in
2. Now I live in
3. My name is
[and boy, there are NOT alot of celebrities with the same name. Lotsa peoples grandma's though. And everyone seems to be blonde!]
4. My Grandmother's name is
5. My fave foods are
[ hard to pick, so i gave top 3]
6. Fave drink is
[its a Canadian thing... you may have to look it up]
7. Fave song is
8. Fave smell is
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